Here’s a fact, not everyone will like you. Now before you go freaking out, here’s something important to remember. It’s perfectly okay that not everyone you meet likes you.
For starters, it’s not a realistic expectation. People like different things, so they will like different people as well. The other important thing to remember is that just because you think someone doesn’t like you doesn’t mean that it’s true. The truth is often we think people don’t like us, when in fact, they aren’t thinking about us at all.
Just to clarify this post is aimed at new people that we meet, not the people who are closest to us like family and friends. I do realize that sometimes certain family members don’t like us much and we aren’t too fussed about them either but that’s a whole different post!
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Let’s dive into some thoughts about why not everyone will like you and why that is perfectly okay.
1. Remember that YOU don’t like everyone
We don’t like every person we meet. So it makes sense that not everyone we meet is going to like us.
There can be a lot of different reasons we don’t like people. Maybe we think we don’t have anything in common with them or we judge them without knowing anything about them. Or we might listen to gossip (never a good idea by the way as gossip is notoriously biased and inaccurate) and that seals the deal for us.
Sometimes we get a vibe about a person and while we might not fully understand the reasons why we get that vibe, it still makes us wary of them. If you have ever found yourself thinking – ‘there’s just something about her/him that I don’t like’, you have a sense of what I’m talking about.
But just because you get a vibe about a person doesn’t make them a bad person. It could simply mean they’re just not a good fit for you.
It’s okay that you don’t like everyone and it’s okay that not everyone likes you. Don’t get bummed about it. It’s just a fact of life.
Not letting it upset you and focusing on your priorities and goals is the best way to move forward.
What is important is not to be disrespectful to that person. There is always room to be decent to each other.
Need a little help striking up conversations with people, but struggle to make small talk. Below are books that can help.
- How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks For Big Success in Relationship by Leil Lowndes
- The Fine Art of Small Talk – How to Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills and Leave a Positive Impression! by Debra Fine
2. Someone not liking you does not mean you are a bad or unworthy person
This is an important thing to remember. Someone not liking you doesn’t mean you are a bad person. You can be a good person and still have people who don’t like you.
Someone not liking you is not an attack on your worthiness as a person.
This is why it’s so important to not take someone not liking you as a personal slight, especially when it’s coming from a complete stranger who doesn’t know you at all.
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3. Understand someone not liking you may have anything to do with you
The reason someone doesn’t like you might have nothing to do with you.
Here’s an example. If you meet someone and you look like a person who treated them badly, they might not like you.
Has that got anything to do with you? Absolutely not.
Often it’s about the other person’s history, values, beliefs, and baggage and has nothing to do with you.
You might remind them of an ex, have a character trait that reminds them of a controlling parent, or about a million other possibilities. Whether we like it or not, people will judge you on previous experiences, so don’t take it personally.
Let me say that again – it can have nothing to do with you.
Related post – 5 Ways to Stop Taking Things Personally
4. People might like you then the situation changes
This one can be hard. I know from personal experience because I have been through it recently.
I used to have a great relationship with my elderly neighbor. She would feed my cat while I was away, we’d give each other Christmas gifts and we had a lovely relationship. We helped each other out whenever one of us needed help.
Then something changed and to be honest, I’m not even sure what it was. Now she either ignores me or is very unpleasant.
Unfortunately, sometimes people stop liking you and there’s not much you can do about it, other than be polite (because that is the kind of person you are) and get on with things.
Related post – How to Deal with the End of a Friendship
5. People might be envious or jealous
Some people resent other people’s success or happiness. If you have something they want, that might be enough for them to dislike you.
This is definitely their problem, not yours.
Think about a rich Hollywood actor that you don’t particularly like because they are too rich or too arrogant or too whatever. The truth is we don’t know anything about that person and yet we don’t like them.
Whether we like it or not, people might have the same perception of us based on what they think we have.
Related post – Does Other People’s Success Make You Feel Bad About Yourself?
Not everyone will like you and that is perfectly okay
When people don’t like us we tend to focus our attention on either being upset about it, doubting ourselves, or wondering what the hell is wrong with us (which is completely bonkers).
Sometimes we might even go to great lengths to try to change the other person’s mind.
Unfortunately what we sometimes do is focus our precious time on the people who don’t like us or treat us badly. This can lead to a lot of unnecessary stress and disappointment.
What should we be doing instead? We should be focusing on the people who do like us (and the ones that we like in return).
Find the people who will help you grow and who will challenge you.
Whether it’s the new people we meet that we have a connection with or our existing tribe of loyal supporters, these are the people who deserve our time and energy.
Focus on making new connections and strengthening your existing ones and you will be a lot happier.
Check out – Master Your People Skills with Vanessa Van Edwards.
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