Do you know how to show up for yourself? When it comes to showing up for yourself, do you know exactly what that means for you? Do you consistently show up for yourself or is it something you only do occasionally? This post will give you ideas on how you can best show up for yourself.
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Let’s dive into 12 ways you can show up for yourself.
1. Do what you say you are going to do
One of the reasons we doubt ourselves is that we consistently break the promises that we make to ourselves.
We commit to something and tell ourselves that it’s important and then we fail to act. We let ourselves down and don’t follow through.
If we did what we said we were going to do and kept our promises to ourselves, we would experience a lot less self-doubt.
Just for the record, this isn’t about torturing yourself with your ‘shoulds’. If you find yourself constantly thinking (or saying), I should be doing this, I should be doing that, then it’s time to get brutally honest with yourself about what you really want.
Doing what you say you are going to do is an excellent way to show up for yourself.
Struggling with your shoulds? A new book that might help is F the Should’s. Do The Wants: Get Clear on Who You Are, What You Want and Why You Want It by Tricia Huffman. Whilst I haven’t read this book myself, it is definitely on my reading list.
2. Take action on your goals and dreams
When you show up for yourself, you take action on your goals and dreams. When you show up for yourself your goals aren’t just you talking or perhaps even bragging about what you are going to achieve but actually taking action to achieve it. As they say, talk is cheap.
When you show up for yourself, you know what your goals are, you know your goals are important and you chase them with determination, drive, and passion.
You might procrastinate occasionally, you might struggle when you fail, and you may even need to course correct (possibly more than once) but ultimately you get up and keep going.
Related post – Are You All Talk and No Action and How to Turn That Around?
3. Believe in yourself
Believe in your ability to make great things happen. Believe in your ability to overcome challenges and grow as a person. Believe you have the capacity to change and improve. When you believe in yourself, you show up for yourself.
I know from experience that believing in ourselves can be difficult. I spent far too much of my time growing up, NOT believing in myself. Instead, I listened to everyone’s opinions and judgments of me. I took them all onboard like they were facts (which they weren’t).
It wasn’t until I made the decision to consciously focus on my compassionate self-talk and take the time to honestly examine where my self-doubt was coming from that I started to believe in myself.
Believing in ourselves isn’t always easy but it’s something that we need to commit to. When life throws us a curveball, we might briefly struggle with our belief in ourselves and that is okay. Everyone has self-doubt now and then. Everyone. It’s how we work through, process, and overcome our self-doubt that makes all the difference.
Related post – How to Believe in Yourself Even When Other People Don’t Believe in You
One of my favorite books for believing in yourself is How to Stop Treating Yourself Like Sh*t: 14 Habits That Are Holding You Back From Happiness by Andrea Owen. This excellent book helped me through a challenging time and helped me realize I was dealing with several toxic habits (and yes they were holding me back). It was eye-opening and a little challenging but also the wake-up call I needed to change those habits.
4. Stop beating yourself up and being so hard on yourself
Showing up for yourself means not constantly beating yourself up for every mistake (real or perceived) that you make.
An essential way to show up for yourself is to stop being so hard on yourself. Stop talking to yourself like sh*t. Stop being mean to yourself. Start talking to yourself like you are your own best friend instead of your own worst enemy.
Show yourself compassion especially when it comes to dealing with frustration, overwhelm, and disappointment.
When you show up for yourself, you don’t let the critical voice in your head overtake everything else. You learn how to filter out your toxic self-talk.
Personally, it took me a long time to stop being so hard on myself (and if I’m being completely honest I still struggle with it more than I would like). When we grow up around critical and judgmental people we tend to take that on as normal behavior and consequently fail to be as kind to ourselves as we should be. In adulthood, we keep the criticism and judgment going but we inflict it on ourselves (instead of it coming from other people).
It was my life coach (many years ago) who bought to my attention just how hard I was on myself and I have been trying hard to show up for myself ever since.
Related posts on being more compassionate with yourself –
- 12 Things to Remember When You Feel Not Good Enough
- Stop Listening to Other People and Start Believing in Yourself
- Know Your Emotional Trigger Words and How to Deal with Them
- Words to Stop Using to Move Your Life Forward
5. Work on changing the habits that hold you back
Our habits have a huge impact on our lives. Therefore it makes a lot of sense to take the time and energy to have a long hard look at your habits to see which ones need changing.
When we learn how to break bad habits and replace them with better habits we show up for ourselves.
My favorite book on habits is the excellent book Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones by James Clear. This book has been on the best-sellers list for 4 years and has well over 89K positive reviews. People have really changed their lives using the principles in this book. You can change yours as well.
6. Embrace your uniqueness
You are different and unique and that’s a good thing. It’s nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty for.
When I was young, I remember hearing my Grandmother talking about me to my Mum, when she thought I was asleep on a couch. My grandmother made a comment along the lines of ‘she’s not like the rest of us is she?’
As an adopted child I was really upset by her comment. It made me feel different and certainly not in a good way. I felt like an outcast in my own family for a long time.
But with time and maturity (and a lot of time spent on my personal growth), I finally started to embrace my uniqueness. I realized that being different isn’t a bad thing. Your uniqueness is a gift. Embrace it.
Fully comprehend how amazing and unique you are.
Related post – Why It’s Okay to Be Different
7. Embrace your passions and hobbies
Regardless of whether it’s writing, painting, craft, sports, gardening, reading, sports, your pets, or whatever other interests you have, one way you can show up for yourself is by pursuing your interests.
When you wholeheartedly embrace the things you enjoy, instead of holding back and telling yourself you will get to them one day, you show up for yourself.
When you show up for yourself you work on what you want on a regular basis (hopefully every day). And when life gets in the way and your routine is disrupted (through illness or a huge life change) you don’t beat yourself up, you don’t throw it all in – you get yourself back on track and get back to your daily practice and routines.
Related post – 12 Reasons Why Perseverance is Important in Life
8. Respect your boundaries
Setting boundaries is one thing but living those boundaries is a different story.
We may say we want to set better boundaries but setting boundaries can sometimes feel like we are hurting other people’s feelings. Setting boundaries might feel like we are disappointing people. If you are a people pleaser, setting boundaries may feel daunting and overwhelming.
When we feel this way we need to show up for ourselves and work on our issues with people pleasing. My post on the best 6 books to stop being a people-pleaser might have just what you are looking for.
9. Stop caring what everyone thinks
An important way of showing up for yourself is not getting caught up in what everyone thinks of you.
Look, I know there are important people in our lives that matter to us, and we matter to them. It’s normal to care about what these people think of us.
What isn’t a good idea is getting upset or distressed about what random strangers think of you.
At some point, we have to believe in ourselves and ignore random input from people who don’t know us at all.
Related post – 20 Ways to Stop Caring What Everyone Thinks of You
10. Take care of your health
One very important and essential way to show up for yourself is to take care of your health.
This isn’t just about taking care of your health once you hit a certain age. Taking care of yourself is important at every age.
When we are younger, we often focus more on our appearance, particularly when it comes to our weight. We focus way too much on how we look. I know I certainly made this big mistake when I was in my twenties (and even in my thirties if I am being totally honest!)
Focus on the basic but essential stuff – good nutrition for your body (which may be different from other people’s),
sufficient sleep, the right type of exercise for you, and finding successful stress management techniques that work for you.
Make sure you get enough rest and relaxation. Often we are busy doing so many things that we don’t know how to relax. We don’t take time out for rest.
Often we push ourselves too hard and too often and then we burn out and have to rest because it’s now the only option available to us.
When you show up for yourself you make sure you get the rest and relaxation your body needs.
11. Make time for joy and fun
No matter how much work we have to do or how long our to-do list is, it’s important that we make time for joy and fun in our lives. 🙂
Having fun, feeling joy, and sharing a laugh are essentials in life. No matter how busy life gets, it’s vital that we take the time to enjoy ourselves.
I know this one isn’t always easy. I’ve been struggling with finding joy in my life over the last couple of months. I was diagnosed with an illness at the beginning of the year and it’s been rough. A large part of my year has been filled with severe fatigue, brain fog, pain, and dizziness. For the last couple of weeks, I have been housebound, isolated, and lonely.
Yet through all of this, I have tried my best to find pockets of joy and humor.
Whether it was laying in bed reading a fantastic book (books have always been my happy place) or watching a comedy on Netflix or talking and laughing with my friends on the phone, even on my dark days I tried to find some sort of joy. (I won’t lie some days it helped to curl up and have a good cry as well).
When it comes to joy and fun, it helps to be consistent. If joy is a rare thing in your life, then it won’t be as impactful. If you experience joy and fun in your life on a consistent basis, it can be life-changing.
Related post – How to Laugh More
12. Work on your personal growth
When you show up for yourself you work on your personal growth. When you need help, you ask for it.
When you need to speak to a counselor or medical professional to work through some things that are bothering you, you find a way to make it happen. You know showing up for your emotional and mental health is important and you make it a priority.
Related post – 10 Important Ways to Make Yourself a Priority
Show up for yourself
You are worth the time, effort, and energy that it takes to show up for yourself. Even when it’s hard. Hell, especially when it’s hard. When you show up for yourself, you boost your self-esteem and self-worth. Knowing that you are worth showing up for can change your life.
Read Next – 10 Powerful Ways to Increase Your Self-Worth and Self-Esteem