With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, it’s time to be thinking about love and relationships.
Regardless of whether you embrace Valentine’s Day in all its heart-shaped glory or think it’s a commercial money-making machine that should be ignored – it can be a good reminder to do some personal reflection regarding your relationship.
With that in mind, I’ve put together 20 questions to ask yourself about your partner.
These aren’t questions to ask your partner directly and you won’t be examining your relationship as a whole but we will be looking at reasons you love and appreciate your partner.
One thing you don’t want to do is start taking your partner for granted (which unfortunately can happen when you have been together for a while).
With careers and kids and bills and social lives, it can be easy to miss the little special moments that go on between couples.
Hell it can be easy to miss some of the big moments too!
Just a reminder your partner will probably excel in some areas below but perhaps not all of them and that is perfectly okay.
We all have our strengths and weaknesses but as long as we respect each other and are in there trying to improve ourselves as people, partners and parents – that’s what matters.
If you are in a relationship, here are 20 questions to ask yourself about your partner.
Disclosure – This post contains affiliate links.
1. Do you tell your partner that you love them?
Hopefully the answer to this one is a big fat yes!
Telling people that we love them is important. We should never just assume that they know how we feel (particularly as time passes).
With the complexity of life, it’s important to say the words (obviously it’s VITAL to actually mean them as well).
And it doesn’t just have to be the words ‘I love you’. I’m proud of you, I adore you, I respect you are all lovely to hear.
Related post – The Importance of Show and Tell in Relationships
2. Do you show your partner that you love them?
This one is super important.
Telling someone you love them is great but it’s in the showing where true love really lies.
You can tell someone you love them but treat them terribly. Believe me that doesn’t cut it. The more you treat someone horribly, the more your words of love will become hollow and meaningless.
Love is one of those situations where action can speak louder than words. Treat someone with respect and show them you love them.
Do you show your partner you love them through your actions?
If you are not doing this as much as you should, how can you step up your game?
3. What do you love about your partner’s sense of humor?
A man who makes us laugh – so sexy! A woman who makes life fun and playful – very desirable.
Appreciating your partner’s sense of humor means more laughs along the way.
Life can be hard but it is also meant to be fun – so now’s the time to remember all of those cute/stupid/funny little things your partner does that make you laugh and smile.
Related post – How to Laugh More
4. What do you love about your partner’s intellect?
What do you love about the way your partner’s mind works?
Are they smart, clever, or witty? They might be curious, creative, inventive, or technical. They might be quick to learn new things. Their thirst for learning and knowledge might inspire you.
5. What sweet things does your partner do without you having to ask?
This might be as simple as making you a coffee in the morning or charging your mobile when you forget.
Little courtesies and acts of thoughtfulness add up. Make up a quick list in your head of the sweet thoughtful things your partner does for you.
6. What thoughtful and caring things does your partner do when you are sick?
No one likes being sick.
It’s no fun at all but it’s definitely a bit more pleasant when you have someone around helping you out. (As a single person, I can relate to this one big time, being sick is when I don’t care much for being single).
Right now you might be thinking but my partner doesn’t do anything for me when I’m sick!
But think a little harder – do they pick up your medicine and vitamins at the pharmacy? Do they make you dried toast and a cup of tea? Do they take care of the kids when you are sick?
7. What do you love about the way your partner takes care of and loves your children?
This is one for the parents.
How is your partner a great parent? What does he or she do that melts your heart when it comes to your children?
You might think they are a good parent but I want you to dig deep and go into the details of how they are a good parent.
What do you love about your partner when it comes to your children?
8. What do you love about your partner in regards to family?
We love our families but it’s no secret that they can also drive us a bit nuts at times!
How is your partner great with family whether it’s yours or their own?
They might compromise to make people happy because they love you. They might be more patient and understanding with elderly family members.
They might keep their thoughts to themselves out of respect for you when they would normally speak up.
Related post – How to Survive Being the Black Sheep of the Family
9. What do you love about your partner in the way they show kindness to strangers?
It’s not just how our partners treat us and our families that endears them to us, it’s also how they treat other people.
Kindness, manners, compassion, and empathy are all wonderful and inspire us to love our partners even more.
Related post – Be Kind to People – You Never Know What They Are Going Through
10. What do you love about your partner in the way they take care of your home?
Regardless of whether you live in a rental or own your own apartment or house, we often put a lot of effort into our homes.
Our home is where we want to feel safe and relaxed. It’s where we raise our families and socialize with our friends. It’s where we can truly be ourselves.
And that’s all before the cleaning, general maintenance, and gardening starts!
Our home can take up a lot of our time and energy. What do you love about your partner when it comes to your home?
11. What do you love about the way your partner treats your pets?
As a cat owner, there are few things cuter than seeing a man who is kind and sweet towards cats (by hey that could just be me!)
Seeing someone we love interact with a pet we love can definitely tug at the heartstrings.
Your heart might melt when you see your guy giving your dog a cuddle or when your partner does something special to make your pet feel loved.
12. What do you love about your partner and travel?
You might love going on 5-star trips together. You might enjoy camping and roughing it. You both might like weekends away in the countryside or at the beach.
You might love trips overseas to big cities or off-beat exotic locations.
When it comes to travel and adventure there is a huge list of things you can do together.
Travel is something that can bond couples together (or rip them apart – but we won’t go there right this second).
What aspects of travel do you and your partner love doing together?
Related post – How to Save For Your Dream Holiday
13. What food do you love eating together?
It could be eating Italian at your favorite local Italian restaurant or enjoying a slurpy bowl of noodles at a new Asian joint.
Perhaps it’s eating healthy meals together.
It could be a home-cooked meal with the family sitting around the table together or grilled cheese on toast after a big night out. It might even be ice cream on the couch together watching your favorite show.
What food do you love to share with your partner?
14. What television shows do you and your partner love to watch together?
Speaking of chilling on the couch together, what are your favorite TV shows to watch together?
Maybe it’s a series like Game of Thrones, your favorite reality program, or the evening news.
15. What movies or television shows does your partner dislike but still watches because they love you?
While I’ve still got you on the couch (so to speak) let’s talk about those television shows that you know your partner really could do without (or downright hates) BUT they watch them because they love you.
Do any shows or movies spring to mind?
16. What do you love about your partner when it comes to fights and disagreements?
I know that seems like an odd question but hear me out.
While most of us dislike fighting with our spouse, disagreements are a part of life so we need to appreciate where our partner does well in this area.
Perhaps they are quick to forgive or they snap out of a bad mood quickly. Perhaps you respect them for how they control their temper?
Maybe you appreciate that they never resort to name-calling. Maybe you are grateful that they are open to talking about issues in the first place and you know that having a fight doesn’t mean the end of the world.
Being able to disagree and work through issues is important for a couple.
Think about what happens when you fight or disagree and think about the parts they handle well.
Related post – How to Have Those Hard Conversations
17. What do you love about your partner when it comes to a crisis?
We all act differently in a crisis and each crisis situation can find us acting differently as well.
Sometimes we are the person who steps up and takes charge, other times we comfort people and other times we withdraw (which in some situations is a good thing).
Perhaps it’s your partner’s ability to stay calm that you love and appreciate the most. Or their ability to stick up for themselves or other people?
18. Which of your partner’s values do you love the most?
I believe that the more core values you share the better off you will go as a couple.
You might love that your partner values integrity or that family happiness is important to them. You might appreciate that their health is a priority for them.
You might admire their sense of adventure and freedom or their quest for personal growth.
There are a ton of values that you can admire and love in your partner.
What values do you love the most?
19. What do you love about your partner when they comfort you after a rough day?
Sometimes after a rough day, you just want a big hug and someone to tell you everything is going to be okay or you might want to just sit in silence and have someone hold your hand.
A lot of the time we just want someone to listen to us.
Being there for each other in a relationship is so important.
20. What are the top 5 things you love to do together?
To finish up, this one is nice and general – think of 5 things that you love to do as a couple together.
I hope you enjoyed this post and it reminds you of all the little and big reasons that you love your partner.
Even if you don’t believe in or celebrate Valentine’s Day, I hope asking these questions has brought you closer to your loved one.
If you are single and feeling a bit left out, don’t despair I’ve got a post coming this week for the singles.
If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends on social media. All sharing is greatly appreciated. 🙂