How often do you compare yourself to other people?
How often does that comparison cause you to feel demotivated, depressed or resentful? How often does it make you feel insecure or feel that you are being left behind in life?
I spent a lot of my earlier years comparing myself. I felt inferior and insecure because I compared myself to other people and felt I didn’t measure up.
Now I know better. Now I know that comparison is a toxic trap.
Let’s look at 16 comparison quotes to get you thinking about how comparison may be affecting your life.
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Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” – Iyanla Vanzant
If you want to be kinder to yourself the quickest way to do that is to stop comparing yourself to other people.
First up you need to be aware of when you are comparing yourself. You might be doing it so often and so automatically that you are not even aware you are comparing yourself. You could be committing small acts of violence against yourself multiple times a day and not even know it.
Related post – 12 Techniques to Stop Feeling Inferior
Two things prevent us from happiness; living in the past and observing others.” – Unknown
These are two big struggles that many of us face. We live in the past as well as observing others and comparing ourselves. Both chip away at our happiness in the present. Both hold us back from our true potential.
Living in the moment and jumping off the comparison train is what sets us free.
Happiness in the present is only shattered by comparison with the past.” – Douglas Horton
There’s that pesky ‘past’ of ours getting us into trouble again!
It’s our past and our ability to deal with change that trips us up and shatters our happiness in the present.
It’s the “things were so much better when….” moments or the “if only this hadn’t happened, I’d be….” thoughts. We’re human, we’re going to have these occasional thoughts but it’s how we process them, how we act after them and how long they hang around (hint – the longer they hang around the more damage they do) that matters.
Sometimes despite our efforts, we need a little help dealing with stuff that has happened, particularly when it comes to our failures and mistakes. The creative folks over at CreativeLive have an online course that can help. The course How to be Bold, Resilient and Better Than Ever is run by Tabatha Coffey.
Tabatha can help you identify your fears and deal with your failures and mistakes. This course can help build up your resilience so that you can bounce back. We all fall down but it’s how we bounce back that is important. Check out the course curriculum to see if it suits your needs.
Admire others’ beauty without questioning your own.’ – Unknown
Comparing your beauty and physical appearance to someone else’s is a shortcut to feeling insecure and miserable.
I speak from experience because it’s something I did far too much of in my twenties and early thirties.
I can’t even recall how many times I went out on the town feeling good about my appearance, then I started comparing and suddenly I was feeling insecure and ugly.
Little did I realize at the time that the people I was comparing myself to were probably feeling the same way because they, in turn, were comparing themselves to other people as well.
Your sense of self-worth comes from within. Your beauty and strength comes from within. Learn to admire beauty without questioning your own.
Need help appreciating your own beauty? Ready my Know Your Own Beauty series.
A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.” – Zen Shin
I know you have probably heard this quote before but it is so simple and beautiful that I had to include it.
Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. Remember that ‘bloom’ means different things to different people.
Forget about everyone else.
Related post – Why It’s Okay to be Different
Don’t compare your life to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time.” – Unknown
I love this one because to me it sounds a bit magical. The sun and moon are both powerful and beautiful. They do their thing when it’s their time.
It’s your time to do your thing.
Perhaps when it comes to comparison your problem lies in being compared to someone else? If that is the case, this post can help – 14 Ways to Deal with Being Compared to Someone Else
No one’s life is as perfect as their Instagram feed.” – Unknown
I couldn’t agree more with this one. Social media comparison is at scary, scary levels. People watch ‘celebrity’ Instagram feeds and want to be them. They see what they perceive as ‘perfect’ lives and consequently feel terrible about their own because it doesn’t measure up.
What they often don’t realize is that there is most likely a media person or even media team working on that Instagram feed. That perfect spontaneous looking Instagram photo might have taken 100 shots to get, not to mention involved a make-up artist and hair stylist.
Anyone can jump onto Google and find ways to curate and content plan their Instagram feed. A lot of it is big business (and big money) so to compare yourself to someone’s Instagram life is just nuts.
Related post – Don’t Compare Yourself to People on Social Media
Don’t compare your real life to someone else’s controlled online content.” – Unknown
I couldn’t resist another quote on social media, because as I mentioned it’s one of the key triggers for comparison.
We started off comparing ourselves to hard copy content like glossy magazines but now all that glamour and gorgeousness has taken over our online lives as well. We see beautiful mothers with their gorgeous babies and stunning houses with not a baby vomit in sight (hey last time I checked babies vomit and poop a lot).
When I was younger I remember thinking that you can’t believe everything you hear because some of it could be gossip and Chinese whispers (did you ever play that game?) but you can believe what you see. Now I understand that’s not the case because what you see is not always what you get (hello Photoshop and dozens of other photo editing software) so why would you compare yourself to an touched up image that isn’t real?
Related post – Why You Should Never Compare Yourself to Touched Up Images
Honour your pace.” – Unknown
One of the ways we compare ourselves is by comparing our pace. We might achieve something amazing and be so proud of ourselves then we find out (or perceive) that someone did it quicker or easier and our confidence takes a dive.
We compare our success, even though we don’t know the other person’s story or the struggles they may have had to face along the way.
Get comfortable and accept that you will move at your own pace.
Related post –12 Reasons You Are Not Moving Forward Fast Enough
Every second you spend comparing is a second you could be using to set your game up.” – Bossbabe
As a blogger, I know what it’s like to compare. You look at a fellow writer who just started their blog who’s killing it on social media or the blogger who’s making a full time living after only a year (while you’ve been writing for years and haven’t achieved the same level of success).
I get it. If there is one area where I sometimes still compare myself – this one has to be it.
But it doesn’t help me, it hinders me. It puts me off my own game. It distracts me and stops me from doing meaningful work (if I let it).
Your game is the only one you need to be concerned with, so stop comparing and step up.
Sometimes the reason we compare ourselves isn’t quite the reason we think! Read my post on how I was comparing myself to a former co-worker for a completely different reason to what I thought.
Every minute you spend wishing you had someone else’s life, is a minute spent wasting yours.” – Unknown
Comparison is a HUGE waste of your time and let’s face it – TIME IS LIFE.
Every minute you spend wishing you had someone else’s life or body or money or face or job or family or partner or whatever word you want to use there is a waste of your precious time. It’s a waste of your life.
Comparisons make you feel superior or inferior. Neither serve a useful purpose.” – Unknown
We often assume comparison means feeling less than someone else. We often equate comparison with feeling inferior to someone. We think their lives are better than ours.
But what about when it’s the other way around. What about when we use a comparison to feel superior to other people.
Think about a lot of the reality television programming out there. A lot of it is designed to make you feel superior (not to mention judgmental). A lot of reality television is designed to make us look down on people. How many times have you watched a reality television show and thought – ‘They are so stupid, I’d never act like that’ or something similar.
Feeling superior doesn’t make you feel better about yourself. Sure it might feel entertaining at the time and give you a false sense of confidence, but it all feeds into your insecurities in the end.
Related post – Does Reality Television Promote Bullying?
Comparison will cause you to feel prideful or depressed but never fulfilled.” – Lisa Bevere
On a similar theme to the quote above, feeling inferior or superior doesn’t amount to feeling content and fulfilled.
It’s often because our feelings of inferiority or superiority are based on external circumstances or feelings, whereas the void we often experience is internal. Fulfillment means making peace with those internal feelings.
One of the feelings that can completely throw us off balance is self-doubt. You doubt yourself so you don’t take action, then you compare yourself to the people who are taking action. To move forward you need to get your self-doubt under control. The online course How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt and Build Real Confidence can help.
I took this course this year myself and it was a game-changer for me. The course is run by Mel Robbins (the author of The 5 Second Rule) over at CreativeLive. You can read my blog post review of the course to see how it can benefit you as well.
The fastest way to kill something special, is to compare it to something else.” – Unknown
Have you ever faced this scenario? You’ve had a great weekend and you’re feeling pretty damn happy until you rock up at work and start hearing what other people did on their weekend. The more you hear, the more you realize your weekend doesn’t sound so good after all, at least not compared to everyone else.
And that’s just a normal weekend, what about those special occasions? The romantic engagement, the wonderful party, the amazing trip overseas. When we compare, we allow those special moments to be overshadowed by someone else’s moment, which we view as more special.
Once we do this our happiness and joy is diminished or taken away completely.
I’m too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener.” – Unknown
I remember ‘the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence’ saying from my childhood. Basically, it means what someone else has always looks better than what we have.
When you stop comparing and start working on what is important to you, you’ll be too focused to even look at someone else’s grass.
Related post – 10 Best Online Personal Growth Courses
We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated with purpose.” – Bob Gaff
Purpose. Focus. Joy. These are just some of the keys to freeing ourselves from the comparison trap.
When we have a purpose we are far too driven, action-oriented and content to bother comparing ourselves to other people.
I used to compare myself a LOT. It was a soul-destroying exercise that ate away at my self-esteem and self-worth.
I have worked really hard to stop comparing myself and I am much happier. I’ll be honest, it wasn’t easy and it wasn’t always fun.
You might be thinking okay fine, I’ll stop comparing myself when I get married, get that bikini body or secure that six figure job that I want so badly. In other words, you are being confined by a ‘when I…’ restriction.
The truth is you will achieve your goals quicker if you stop comparing yourself. You will be empowered and passionate for all the right reasons.
You might even find that some of the goals you thought you wanted aren’t really that important at all, you just wanted them because everyone else seems to be wanting them.
Stopping comparison is about knowing your values, your purpose, and your inner light. Once you know that – nothing compares.
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