The most destructive thing I ever did was listen to other people’s opinion of me.” – Unknown
I read this quote recently on Facebook and I swear a voice rose up from within me and screamed – YES!
This quote resonated with me so strongly because I realized I had fallen prey to this sort of behavior for a big chunk of my life.
BUT NOT ANYMORE.
I realized that my negative self-talk was often triggered by someone else’s voice in my head.
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Can you relate?
Do you listen to other people’s opinions of you and take them on board without even challenging their validity?
Have you held onto someone’s comments for weeks, months or years without stopping to question whether you should be taking this person’s opinion on board?
Whose opinion are you holding onto? Is it Mum, Dad, a guardian, a sibling, a partner, a teacher, an ex or even your boss?
Are comments from a complete stranger negatively affecting your self-talk and how you feel about yourself?
If anyone’s opinion can rattle us to our core, it’s the one from our parents.
As children, we tend to believe what our parents say about us (which includes the good, bad and the downright ugly). Not the best news.
But here is the good news. As adults, we get to make up our own minds!
As adults, we get to form our own opinions, define our own worth (yeah!) and call our own shots.
We get to make up our own minds about who we are.
We get to disagree and disregard nasty opinions from other people. We get to decide what we believe about ourselves.
The even better news, you can do this at any time, at any age (so don’t even try coming at me with the ‘I’m too old’ excuse!)
By listening to someone else’s opinion without challenging or questioning that opinion, you are allowing them to define your worth.
This challenging and questioning is going on within us, so no awkward or uncomfortable conversations with other people required.
As much as we love and respect the people in our lives, it’s time to listen to our own inner voice and make our own decisions on who we are and what we are capable of.
How we speak to ourselves is incredibly important. Improve your self-talk – improve your life!
Confession time. I used to be plagued with negative self-talk. I didn’t know my own worth. I regularly compared myself to my gorgeous friends and felt inadequate.
I doubted myself and felt insecure.
I not only listened to the nasty voice in my head but I believed it. I took on board every nasty and negative thing people said about me and that became the voice in my head that I would listen to and be guided by.
I was my own worst enemy, self-sabotaging myself at every turn.
Let’s just say, I learned a lot of the life lessons I write about on this blog the hard way!
But I turned all that around. I got serious about my personal growth (which included working with an amazing coach), stopped putting myself down, became a person of action (instead of a serial procrastinator) and started going full tilt after what I want.
I finally started loving and accepting myself for who I truly am. Biggest game-changer ever right there!
I’m the first to admit, it hasn’t all been smooth sailing. I’ve had to deal with some career setbacks but I’m in there moving my life forward.
The truth is shit still happens even when you love yourself.
Thankfully loving and accepting yourself gives you a better foundation to cope with the hard stuff that life throws at you.
How about you? Are you ready to stop listening to everyone else’s opinion of you and listen to your own amazing inner voice?
Who’s with me?
Need help overcoming self-doubt? Check out the online course How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt by the amazing Mel Robbins over at CreativeLive. I completed this course myself and got so much out of it!
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