Recently I wrote a post on the importance of defining your own worth. Today I thought we’d have a look at why you need to define your own version of success.
The simple fact is we don’t all define success the same way.
Success could mean marriage and children or it might not. It could mean traveling the world for years on end. Success could mean being your own boss or working for someone else. Your primary driver for success could be helping other people.
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Let’s look at why it’s important to define your own version of success.
You will be less likely to compare yourself to other people
If you have a clearly defined version of success, you are less likely to compare yourself to other people.
If someone gets a promotion at work climbing the corporate ladder and your version of success is to run your own business and avoid the corporate ladder altogether, you are far less likely to compare your success to theirs because you want vastly different things.
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You don’t want to pursue someone else’s version of success
If you are not defining your own version of success, someone else in your life may define it for you.
It could be your family, friends, partner or boss. While people close to us may think they have our best interests at heart, none of that will matter if we personally aren’t invested in our success.
Unfortunately sometimes people don’t have our best interests at heart, they are purely thinking about themselves. It’s about manipulation and control and getting what they want.
In situations like these it’s vitally important that we know our own version of success and our own worth and stick with what is right for us.
Related post – Know Your Own Worth
Knowing what you want will help you get it
Let’s face it, knowing what you want certainly helps in allowing you to take the appropriate steps to make it happen.
If you have no idea what you want or what your version of success looks like, it’s much harder to pursue that big juicy goal or project. More likely you will coast from one day to the next with no direction. You can do better than that.
It will help you to stay motivated
Knowing what you want can sometimes be the easy part.
Making it happen and doing the work can be much, much harder.
Take having children for example. A lot of people say they want to be parents but once it happens it can be a lot harder going than expected.
Knowing what you are working towards (particularly when there are sacrifices involved and let’s not kid ourselves there are always sacrifices of some kind involved one way or the other, because the world is an amazing, changing, evolving place and you can’t do everything) can definitely help you stay motivated.
If you have no endgame, it’s a lot harder to stay motivated and keep your eye on the prize.
Celebrate wins both large and small
Success (again depending on what your version is) can take time.
During that time, you will most likely have a lot of small wins and triumphs as well as some larger ones.
Celebrate or at least acknowledge all of them. Celebrating doesn’t have to mean bringing out the bubbly and having a party (though sometimes it should definitely mean that!) It could mean something as simple as taking a moment on your own to congratulate yourself and realize just how far you have come.
All too often we wait to the end of a massive project (or even our careers) to celebrate. It’s healthier on a physical, emotional and fun level to acknowledge your wins along the way.
Related post – How to Have a Big Life When Your Life Feels Smalll
Understand it’s fine if your version of success changes
Don’t be surprised if your version of success changes as you get older and more mature.
And no that doesn’t mean that everyone is going to want the big house, kids and an SUV in the driveway by a certain age.
You might want that or you might not.
What you want at 18 could be vastly different from what you want at 40. On the other hand, you might know exactly what you want at 18!
When it all comes down to it, this isn’t about age. It’s about knowing what’s right for you. It doesn’t matter if, when or even how often your version of success changes just as long as you know what it is.
Don’t make success all about money
Money is great, there’s no doubt about that. We need money to live in today’s world. Yet we all don’t need the same amount of money to live happily.
Don’t make your success all about money or it could lead to a one-dimensional life.
There’s so much more to life than that. Try to avoid making your success all about buying and owning things.
Related post – Don’t Confuse Your Bucket List With Your Shopping List
It’s about how you feel
Success isn’t just about ticking off a long list of accomplishments or acquiring a list of possessions. Accomplishments are great but they aren’t the whole picture.
It’s about how you feel.
If you achieve everything you set out to do but still feel miserable or unfulfilled – what was the point?
We often see this behavior in people who are regarded as highly successful. They have talent, money, fame, success and yet they’re still miserable.
Despite their success, they struggle with feelings of low-self esteem or are tortured by their personal demons. They self-sabotage at every opportunity. Many of them have never defined their own version of success and how they want that success to feel. Yet to someone looking in from the outside they have reached the pinnacle of success.
The point (no matter what your version of success looks like) is to feel great.
Your objective should be to feel good about yourself.
Have you defined your own version of success? What does it look like for you and will it make you feel absolutely fabulous?
Make sure your version of success make you feel energized and alive (and not just fills your wallet). Make sure your version of success fills you with self-love and inner peace.
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