Right now is the only moment you have any control over, so make the most of it.I was thinking about someone important in my life the other day and my relationship with them.

I found myself wistfully thinking – I wish I’d had a closer relationship with this person over the years.

As soon as I had that thought, my awareness kicked in.

Since I started this blog I have become much better at identifying and processing harmful or simply unhelpful thoughts, particularly ones that involve anything that has happened in the past.

As I have mentioned in other posts, I used to be someone who thought about past events a LOT.

I thought, I worried, I stewed – I went over old grievances and hurtful conversations in my head.

Then I stewed some more.

I can say in all honestly –  it didn’t do a bloody scrape of good.

It didn’t change anything and it didn’t help me deal with situations. It just made me unhappy. Basically it was a massive waste of my time and energy!

Back to my ‘I wish’ moment.

As soon as I examined this thought, I realized how pointless it was since I can’t go back in time.

What I did swoop upon however is that this person is still a part of my life so I can have a better relationship with them. It’s not too late. I can take action today to improve our relationship. Will it take a bit more effort on my part? Definitely. Is it worth it – hell yes!

Is reconciling the fact that we can’t change things in the past always easy? No it’s not.

Occasionally I think about how things could had gone differently with my Dad.

For years wishing our relationship had been different was extremely difficult but eventually I came to terms with the fact that I couldn’t change what had happened (particularly around the time he passed away), no matter how much I wanted to.

All I could do was make peace with what happened as painful and heartbreaking as it was. Tormenting myself wasn’t helping anyone – all it was doing was making my life toxic and miserable.

Right now is all we have – so use it to make your wishes come true.

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