I was thinking about someone important in my life the other day and my relationship with them.
I found myself wistfully thinking – I wish I’d had a closer relationship with this person over the years.
As soon as I had that thought, my awareness kicked in.
Since I started this blog I have become much better at identifying and processing harmful or simply unhelpful thoughts, particularly ones that involve anything that has happened in the past.
As I have mentioned in other posts, I used to be someone who thought about past events a LOT.
I thought, I worried, I stewed – I went over old grievances and hurtful conversations in my head.
Then I stewed some more.
I can say in all honestly – it didn’t do a bloody scrape of good.
It didn’t change anything and it didn’t help me deal with situations. It just made me unhappy. Basically it was a massive waste of my time and energy!
Back to my ‘I wish’ moment.
As soon as I examined this thought, I realized how pointless it was since I can’t go back in time.
What I did swoop upon however is that this person is still a part of my life so I can have a better relationship with them. It’s not too late. I can take action today to improve our relationship. Will it take a bit more effort on my part? Definitely. Is it worth it – hell yes!
Is reconciling the fact that we can’t change things in the past always easy? No it’s not.
Occasionally I think about how things could had gone differently with my Dad.
For years wishing our relationship had been different was extremely difficult but eventually I came to terms with the fact that I couldn’t change what had happened (particularly around the time he passed away), no matter how much I wanted to.
All I could do was make peace with what happened as painful and heartbreaking as it was. Tormenting myself wasn’t helping anyone – all it was doing was making my life toxic and miserable.
Right now is all we have – so use it to make your wishes come true.
If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends.