Self-doubt can be a bitch.
It can cripple our lives and hold us back from achieving great things.
When self-doubt comes a calling, we tend to package our feelings under the low self-confidence label.
That’s of course if we even take the time to examine our feelings at all.
But it’s not always that straightforward.
For example, if you are job hunting you might have some fears and self-doubts about winning and starting a new role but feel completely confident in other areas of your life.
So I thought I would take a closer look at why we tend to doubt ourselves. Taking the time to examine why we struggle with self-doubt can help us on the road to finding a solution and get us back to feeling good about ourselves.
In this post, I’ll be talking more about the reasons than the solutions but rest assured each of these doubts can be worked through when they raise their not-so-pretty heads.
Disclosure – This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links. Any compensation I receive does not affect the price you pay.
Here are 13 reasons we doubt ourselves. See if you recognize any of these within yourself.
We don’t have the required skills
We all have to start somewhere regardless of whether we are starting our first job, our twentieth job, or inventing our career in a new industry.
I’m sure most first-time parents don’t have all the skills required for being a parent right from the start.
At different points in our lives, we might not immediately have the skills we need to feel fully confident. Consequently, we may start doubting ourselves.
This is completely normal and thankfully completely workable.
We don’t have the experience
Starting out with no experience can be daunting.
Not having experience can also be a double-edged sword. We have all heard the cycle of trying to get a job – you need experience but no one will give you the chance to get the experience.
Many people wouldn’t dream of traveling the world on their own but once they take the plunge and have some experience it becomes much easier.
With persistent focused action our attitude to experience and self-doubt changes.
Past mistakes particularly those big ugly ones that have lasting repercussions can have us seriously doubting ourselves.
Whether it’s bad relationship choices, unpleasant situations at work, or family dramas, mistakes from our past can rattle us to the core and leave us filled with self-doubt.
They can also be major learning opportunities that help us move forward to bigger and better things.
Related content on how we feel about our mistakes –
Past experiences can really shake our belief in ourselves.
When I was fired suddenly without justification I was shocked. The whole experience left me filled with self-doubt and insecurity which took time to overcome.
Our past experience has a big effect on our personal lives as well. If we were lied to or cheated on that can leave us doubting ourselves.
The good news is past experiences don’t have to define us.
Someone else’s voice in our head
Have you got Mum or Dad’s voice in your head saying you aren’t good enough or that you are not good at certain things?
Yep, that will do it. This is one of the common reasons we are filled with self-doubt.
Related content to knowing your own worth (despite what other people say) –
- How to Believe in Yourself When People Don’t Support You
- 20 Ways to Stop Caring What People Think of You
- One Shocking Truth About Your Parents You May Need to Know
- Know Your Own Worth – Even When it Feels Like the World Doesn’t Quite Agree with You
We fear we aren’t good enough
This one can eat away at our very core.
For no particular reason (or often for a combination of a few things on this list) we struggle with not feeling good enough.
From personal experience, I know this fear is incredibly important to face head-on.
Eliminating this fear can be a massive turning point in your life.
Related post – 12 Things To Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough
This one is about having your own voice in your head telling you nasty, untrue stories about yourself. Nasty stuff like I’m unlovable or I’m not worthy.
The positive news here is that we can crush our self-limiting beliefs with a little work. Yes, it might be hard at times but thoroughly worth it. Once you truly know your worth the sky is the limit.
Related post – Know Your Worth 10 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself
It’s a habit
I know this might sound a bit odd but doubting ourselves can become a habit.
Like any bad habit, it can stick around and get ingrained into our daily lives. Thankfully like all bad habits, it can also be eliminated.
Ready to tackle your self-doubt? Head over to CreativeLive and check out the How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt online course by the amazing Mel Robbins.)
I’ve completed this course myself and got so much out of it. Read my course review post to see how it can benefit you.
We think who will listen to me?
This one is big when you are first starting out and particularly when you are trying to move from one industry to another or are taking on a completely different role.
If we don’t feel like an expert we may doubt our abilities and wonder why people will listen to us.
This self-doubt affects a lot of people starting out in business.
What if my best work is behind me?
I somewhat naively believed that self-doubt was reserved for those of us who are starting something new and therefore struggling to find our feet.
Basically, I assumed that once you were successful all the self-doubt faded away.
It wasn’t until I attended B School run by the super successful Marie Forleo that I realized that successful people have doubts as well. One of those is that their best work could be behind them!
Authors can feel this way when their last book was a massive bestseller and they are worried their new book won’t do as well.
We believe it’s all luck
Some people doubt their abilities even though they are hugely successful because they believe they were simply lucky.
Instead of fully appreciating their talents and gifts and the hard work that comes with success, they attribute their success to pure luck, which leaves them open to feelings of self-doubt.
This one is quite common for people who are highly successful. They believe that someone is going to come along and expose them as an imposter.
This can be brought on by people secretly believing they are a fraud, that they don’t deserve the recognition they have achieved or they aren’t as good as everyone says they are.
Hence they feel like an imposter and have a fear of being exposed.
We fear we don’t have the stamina for the long haul
Sometimes it’s not our ability or skills or our beliefs that we doubt, sometimes it’s the fact that we know to achieve a goal or finish a big project, we have to show up time and time again and do the work.
We may doubt that we will have the energy, courage, persistence, or a combination of all three to keep going and get our big kick-ass project over the line.
Writing this post was extremely liberating for me because it made me laser-focus on my own doubts. It made me realize how many of my self-doubts I have eliminated.
It also highlighted a few that have changed and evolved over time. Make sure you stay on the lookout for those!
The purpose of this post is to identify the key reasons we doubt ourselves.
When we feel self-doubt creeping in, it can help to drill down and identify exactly what we are feeling so that we can find a solution to a specific concern.
You can push through your doubts and bring on a better more confident life for yourself.
If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends on social media. Sharing is always greatly appreciated. 🙂
Don’t forget to have a look at the How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt online course by the amazing Mel Robbins.
Read next – 10 Ways High Self-Esteem and Self-Worth Has a Huge Impact on Your Life