As much as we would love our friends and family to be supportive of our hopes, dreams and goals sometimes that just isn’t the case.
Sometimes when we tell our plans to someone we can tell by the look on their face that they don’t believe we can achieve them.
They don’t have faith in us to make it work. They might want to but they don’t.
So how do we shake off other people’s negative comments and reactions and make sure we don’t let them erode our enthusiasm (or stop us from starting our project at all)?
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Firstly let’s have a look at why they might have had a negative reaction. See if you recognize any of these regarding how people have treated you.
While we are being honest, have a look to see if any of these apply to how you might be reacting to other people and their big dreams!
They might not get it
This one applies big-time to the online world. Telling someone you want to start an online business might trigger lots of blank looks.
It’s not that they don’t have faith in you or believe you could be a huge success, they simply don’t understand what having an online business means.
Of course there are a bunch of other examples I could have used here.
Related post – How to Deal with Negative People
They don’t think you have the skills or personality to succeed
People often don’t know us as well as they think they do. More to the point, the label us with being good or bad at particular things or even being a particular type and that’s it. That’s all they think we can do.
They forget about our massive potential for bravery and courage. Not to mention creativity.
They might not want you to succeed
Heads up this list isn’t pretty!
There can be a massive variety of reasons why people secretly don’t want us to succeed.
Here’s just a few.
- They don’t want things to change (some people are scared of change – even positive change).
- They are worried about how your new venture or big goal will affect them! Example they might not see you as much or you might not be able to support them as much as they are used to.
- They are jealous (perhaps you are doing something they dearly want but don’t have the courage to do themselves).
- They want you to fail so they can say I told you so. (I know this one’s harsh, but it does happen and it sucks to be on the receiving end. If anyone is doing this to another person, please stop now. It’s awful and could completely wreck your relationship).
- They want you to fail. No explanation required. They just want you to fail.
They are worried about you
- They are worried about the financial side of things. (This can sometimes be a valid reason for some concern, big risks can involve big dollars).
- They want to protect you. This can sometimes run close to they want to control you, so be careful with this one.
- They are genuinely concerned about how you will cope if things don’t work out.
Let’s look at how we can turn all that around.
Don’t worry about what people think
It seems so easy written like that doesn’t it. Hey don’t worry – who cares what they think of you. Yep in theory sounds easy. In practice it’s a lot harder.
This is where we need to dig deep inside ourselves and gather up a few things. Let’s start with our belief in what we are doing and trying to achieve. Next grab your resolve. Lots of it!
While they don’t have to believe in you – you must believe in yourself.
It’s okay to be scared. Fear is a normal part of trying something new and exciting. Giving up what you want for yourself because someone doesn’t like the sound of it is not okay.
This is about you and your future, not about the people who don’t believe in you.
Related post – 20 Ways to Stop Caring What People Think of You
Set up a good support system
You are definitely going to need a support system but remember it doesn’t have to mean every family member and every friend.
As a matter of fact, picking your support system a bit more selectively could be a great benefit to you.
Pick people who know what you are going through and who can help with solutions, ideas and support. Pick people who are passionate about your topic the same way you are and who will listen to you when you need someone to talk to.
Online groups are great but try for some face to face contact as well. Coaches and mentors are a brilliant idea.
Part of your support system should be goal planning. You need to have clarity on what it is you want to achieve and how you are going to make it happen. I recommend the Slay Your Goals Planner by Nadalie Bardo. You can download the Free Slay Your Goals Guide to get a feel for the planner.
You can also read my review of the planner.
Know your own version of success
If people don’t understand what the hell your business, dream or goal is about they certainly won’t understand different measures of success.
To keep your momentum going, you need to celebrate the big and small wins.
I will use the online business example again. Say you are slogging your butt off working and you get a win. Your traffic doubles or even triples. Yee-ha!! You tell someone and all you get are blank looks and a quiet – that’s good. Honestly it’s not their fault, they just have no idea what you are talking about or why that is significant for you.
Tell someone who is chasing that same win and see their reaction. Tripling your traffic will get a completely different reaction. Once they get over cheering for you, they’ll probably ask you how you did it because everyone online wants more traffic!
Related post – Define Your Own Version of Success
Prove them wrong
This one kind of speaks for itself. Prove them wrong, it will feel great.
It’s important to mention here that doing things just to prove someone wrong (as in that’s your only reason) isn’t a good idea. That’s just being stubborn and in the end you’re making a life choice because of someone else and that’s exactly what we are trying to avoid.
Do it because you want to – with all your heart.
Prove to yourself that you can do it
When it all comes down to it, this is what really matters. This is about you. No one else.
I’ve often noticed when someone criticizes my big plan or gives me that ‘you can’t do it look’, what I really struggle with is the little voice in my own head that partly agrees with them.
It’s the twinge of fear and self-doubt that is already there inside of our own minds that triggers us to react (and let’s face it, sometimes overreact) when someone doesn’t support us.
Prove it to yourself that you can do it. Deep down that’s the voice and opinion that matters.
If you are struggling with self-doubt I have the perfect course for you. At the beginning of year, I completed the How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt and Build Real Confidence course on CreativeLive. This course was a game-changer for me! I wrote a review on what I got out of the course and how it could benefit you.
By the way, all of those people who didn’t believe in you. When you succeed, they’ll be like ‘we knew you could do it’. Gotta love them!
Whatever your goal is stay focused. Work hard, believe in yourself and surround yourself with people who believe in you.
If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends via social media. You never know who might need helping believing in themselves today!