I heard a man comment recently that women over 50 were invisible.
Ouch! That’s harsh. As someone who has just turned 50 (and is single), the comment was quite confronting.
Unfortunately, it’s not the first time I’ve heard this comment about women. I’ve had several conversations with women who feel invisible after a certain age.
In our youth-obsessed culture, how do we stop ourselves from feeling this way?
How do we stop feeling like we are fading into the background? How do we stop feeling invisible?
This post is written specifically with women in mind though it’s important to point out that all of us regardless of our age can struggle with this feeling at times, so feel free to apply what’s relevant for you and disregard the rest.
Confession time – I’m struggling with this a bit myself at the moment so l will be taking my own advice on this one!
If you sometimes feel invisible, I hope this post helps.
Disclosure – This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links. Any compensation I receive does not affect the price you pay.
Embrace your amazing self
Now is the time to embrace a huge serve of kick-ass confidence!
When it comes to aging and how it affects us, we need to more confident than ever. Now is the time to remember just how amazing you really are!
Related content –
- Know Your Own Worth
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- How to Break the Habit of Seld-Doubt and Build Real Confidence
- 10 Behaviors That Stop You Growing as a Person
- Stop Listening to Other People’s Opinions and Start Believing in Yourself
Embrace who you are
Whatever you do – don’t stop being yourself!
I can’t emphasize this one enough. Don’t give up who you are to be accepted by someone else. It’s never worth it. Don’t bend yourself into a pretzel pretending to be someone else.
Related post – Are You Afraid to be Yourself?
Embrace your beauty
I wish I had embraced my beauty more in my 20’s and 30’s. Instead, I was too busy picking myself to pieces and finding every possible flaw. What a terrible waste!
We all have our own beauty. You don’t need to look a certain way to be beautiful. Please stop believing that beauty only looks a certain way!
I’ve actually written a 3 part series on this one so check it out –
Stop trying so hard to fit in
Oh lordy, I have been this girl!
I tried to fit myself into lifestyles that didn’t work for me because I didn’t want to fade into the background. I wanted to be noticed and sometimes I got noticed for the wrong reasons.
In my early twenties, I moved from Brisbane to the Gold Coast. I’d just broken up with my partner of 7 years and I was all about having fun. Miss Party Girl.
The ideal look on the Coast at the time for a party girl like myself was tanned, blonde, busty and thin. I was thin and blonde. I shudder to think of the damage I did to my skin, trying to get a tan and fit into a certain look.
Clearly, I had another lesson to learn because when I took off to London in my thirties, I had a huge fight with my partner because I didn’t fit in with his much younger friends. He asked me ‘can’t you just pretend you like such and such’. I knew the answer was no. The relationship crumbled.
I was done with pretending.
Related post – 20 Ways to Stop Caring What People Think of You
Find your tribe
This one is important. If the people you hang around make you feel invisible on a regular basis, heads up – you are hanging around the wrong people!
Get out there and find your tribe. Find the people who have the same values that you do. Find the people who share your passions and interests.
I might upset some people here but sometimes our families are not our tribe. I’m not saying ditch your family or anything like that but if you have nothing in common with them and they diminish who you are regularly, I would limit the time that you spend with them.
Sometimes we feel invisible because of the strong personalities around us. We feel like people walk right over the top of us and don’t even notice.
This is where you need to be assertive. Note I said assertive, not passive-aggressive.
I know about being passive-aggressive because it used to be my go-to operating mode. Someone would wrong me in some way, I would keep it all to myself pretending everything was fine and hope that they would read my signals (hell didn’t they see the smoke coming out of my ears)!
That shit doesn’t work people. We can’t expect people to read our minds.
We need to be assertive and ask for what we want and need and when someone wrongs us, we speak up for ourselves in a manner that is respectful to both the other person and ourselves.
Self-doubt can sometimes stop us speaking up for ourselves. It can also stop us from going after what we truly want in life. Self-doubt can become a habit.
The good news there is habits can be broken and changed. If you want to help kick your self-doubt to the curb, I highly recommend taking the How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt and Build Real Confidence online course run by Mel Robbins.
I took this CreativeLive course myself earlier in the year and it was a game-changer for me. You can read my review of the course here.
Focus on your strengths
When we feel invisible we tend to highlight our weaknesses and downplay our strengths.
Instead, focus on your strengths. Focus on what you are good at. Focus on what you love doing. Focus on what you can teach and share with other people.
Focusing on your strengths will skyrocket your self-confidence, which will stop you feeling like people don’t notice you. More importantly, you will be so busy doing stuff you love, you won’t care what people think!
Related post – Focus on Your Strengths Not on Your Weaknesses
Understand men do see you
This one is harsh so brace yourself.
The cold hard truth is men still notice you. They just might not be the ones that you want noticing you.
Told you that one was going to be a bit harsh!
The thing to remember is some of those men might be feeling a bit vulnerable as well – so be kind.
Appreciate the people who love you
This is one of those times where we need to focus on what we already have – instead of what we don’t have.
When you are feeling a bit vulnerable, it’s time to remember the people in your life who love you, appreciate you, care about you and like you as a person.
Sometimes we take the people closest to us for granted because we are too busy seeking outside validation.
You are much more than how you look
If you are a highly looks-oriented person, you might have a bit more trouble adjusting to turning less heads than you used to.
Another truth bomb coming up. Sometimes the men that turned their heads when we were younger were NOT men we should have given our attention to – bad boys I’m talking about you!
I’m not naive, I know looks matter and are important up to a point, but no matter how gorgeous you are eventually you need something to back it up. If you are a horrible, mean person looks will only get you so far.
You are so much more than the way you look. Just for starters, you have intelligence, a kind and loving heart and an amazing soul – never forget that.
Give yourself a makeover
Sometimes we all need a little pick me up.
Just to be clear here, makeovers aren’t always associated with our looks. Sometimes it’s our minds, attitudes or daily habits that need the makeover.
A lovely dress and new haircut never hurt anyone either.
Don’t try TOO hard
While we all want to look our best and put out best selves forward there is a point when we can try too hard.
Usually, it involves being a chronic people pleaser (or more to the point in this instance a man pleaser). We like what they like, we hand over our lives on a silver platter (always a bad idea) and we dress the way they want us to (or the way we think they want us to).
We make it all about our attractiveness and not about our personalities. The only thing this usually does is attract the wrong people into our lives.
Related post – Stop Being a People Pleaser – 6 Books That Can Help
Don’t live life in a bubble
Between being sick for weeks on end, writing two eBooks and working full time, I’ve been quite isolated over the last couple of months.
Just at the moment, it feels like I’ve gone into my own little world and it feels a little small for my liking!
Consequently, I found myself doing the same things over and over again with the same people. It’s a cycle of work, home, work, home, work, home and it’s doing my head in.
Live a big life, not a small one. Get out and about and spread your wings. Do something different and completely out of your comfort zone.
Related post – How to Have a Big Life When Your Life Feels Small
You have a lot to offer, I don’t care what age you are!
You can make a difference by helping others. Nothing fills the soul like contributing to another person’s happiness and well-being.
Know what you can add to the world to make it a better place.
Never think there is nothing you can offer. There are people who need your help, wisdom, and support.
The one is a must. Love yourself.
Forget just for a moment about piling your love onto someone else and throw a bucket of it your way.
Stop saying you can’t or that it’s too hard. Nothing is more important than accepting and respecting yourself.
Need help in the self-love department? A fantastic book is You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero. It’s a great read.
Know you are NOT invisible
None of us are invisible.
Each of us is special and unique. Don’t let anyone (including yourself) tell you otherwise.
Now get out there and shine…
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