Something interesting happened to me recently.
I was at home feeling a little bored and wondering what to do next when I had a flashback to my younger self and suddenly realized what I used to do in my 20’s and even sometimes early 30’s when I was feeling that way – I would go out and create some drama in my life.
Of course, if you had asked me at the time if that’s what I was doing I would have denied it.
Without realizing when I was bored, frustrated or feeling stuck I would go out and create some drama.
To be honest there was usually some inappropriate man involved who I could then fixate on hence adding to the whole dramatic effect!
Thankfully I don’t go looking for drama anymore and I am much happier.
If you need a little help toning down the drama, here are my top tips to stop creating drama in your life.
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Enjoy your own company
This one is huge.
If you freak out the minute you have to spend some quality time alone, you are more likely to go looking for trouble.
Naturally this is a huge topic that can’t be covered off easily in one paragraph but here’s the thing – you need to like yourself.
If deep down you think you are boring or a bad person (or whatever critical word you want to use here) you aren’t going to enjoy your own company.
Work on your self-esteem and spending quality time alone will become much easier.
Need to work on your core confidence and kick all of that sef-doubt to the curb? I have an excellent online course for you. How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt and Build Real Confidence is an online course by Mel Robbins over at CreativeLive.
I’ve taken this course myself and found it a game-changer for breaking toxic thought patterns (which lead to drama causing toxic action). You can read my review on the course here to see how this course could benefit you as well.
Have a healthy way of coping with boredom
I rarely get bored nowadays. With the blog there is always something to do and writing is something I can do at any point in time.
I also love to read. I never feel bored with a thought-provoking book in my hand.
Whether it’s exercise or a fun hobby make sure you have something in your life to stop you from getting bored. Word of warning, don’t let the television be your only go to when you are bored. It’s not a healthy substitute for a hobby.
Too much reality television = not good for the soul.
Related posts –
- How to Overcome Boredom
- Does Reality Television Promote Bullying?
- Do you need to Rethink Your Television Viewing?
Reach out to people
Humans are social creatures.
Sometimes when we feel frustrated or bored, it’s really social interaction that we are craving.
That’s when you need to ring your best friend and head off for a coffee, wine or just a great catch up. If people aren’t available at the time (which often happens as we all have busy lives) take yourself out where there are lots of people and immerse yourself in your surroundings.
Related post – Do You Need to Connect with Old Friends?
Understand that drama and excitement are not the same thing
I think what we are looking for is adventure and excitement not drama.
But sometimes particularly when we are younger we mistake them as the same thing.
Travel is exciting and adventurous. Having a fling with someone unavailable is creating drama. One will end in fantastic memories, the other in tears. Choice wisely.
Personally I have done both and I seriously recommend the travel option!
Excitement comes from accomplishing our big kick-ass goals and dreams!
So the question is – do you have goals? Do you know what’s going to make you happy and get you so excited about life that you forget about all the drama? If you need help with your goals, the Slay Your Goals planner can help. It will help you work out the why, what, when, where and how of achieving your goals. You can read my review on this fab planner here.
You can download your free Slay Your Goals Guide to get a feel for the planner and go from there.
What have you got to lose? Lose the drama and power forward in your life.
Know your worth
I’ve written about this one before and I keep coming back to it for very good reason.
The truth is when you know your own worth you don’t go looking for drama.
You know you deserve better than that.
Now that I know my worth, I see and hear the drama warning signs and they are a massive turn off, which is quite the turnaround from when I would see drama as a challenge and jump in with both feet. Now it’s just a pain in the ass I can’t be bothered with.
Related know your worth content –
- Know Your Own Worth
- Know Your Own Worth Even When it Feels Like the World Doesn’t Quite Agree with You
- Don’t Let Anyone Else Define Your Worth
Validate yourself from within
This one is aimed at women but I know men can fall into the same trap. Actually the more I think about it married men are particularly susceptible to this one.
We all like to be flattered. We like to hear compliments on how great we look and how attractive we are. We enjoy the attention. We enjoy being made feel special.
The truth is when we are going through a tough time or feeling vulnerable we can be more swayed by these compliments than we should be. We get swept up in the moment and before we know it drama ensues (this is one of the reasons affairs happen – someone is craving attention and validation and someone – not their partner – starts supplying it).
This is why seeking validation from within is so important. You are not waiting for someone to give you a compliment or pay you attention to feel good about yourself.
Give yourself the love and acceptance you need and you are much less likely to go looking for love in all the wrong places and people.
Fixate on yourself – not someone else
Drama definitely comes from fixating on someone else’s life.
I shudder to think how much time I wasted over the years crying or obsessing over someone who wasn’t crying over me. Countless hours people! Such a waste of my time and energy.
Focus on your goals, dreams, family, hobbies, career and anything else that makes you happy. Fixate on yourself and on making exciting things happen in your life!
Know your vices
When we are feeling frustrated, bored or vulnerable is when our vices come out to play big time.
We drink, smoke, shop, gamble or party excessively (just to name a few).
During times of high stress or vulnerability be aware of your vices and not letting them get out of hand. Whilst vices feel like fun in the moment, they often come at a massive price we have to pay later.
Related post – Know Your Trigger Words and How to Deal with Them
You can’t stop creating drama in your life if you are not aware of your behavior.
If you want to tame your inner drama queen some self-analysis is in order. Look back on some of the instances where you have created drama and drill down to the reason why it happened. Be completely honest with yourself. Accept your role in the situation instead of blaming others.
Accept you have choices and creating drama doesn’t need to be a part of your life.
Drop the drama – instead focus on achieving your goals, adventure and fun. You will be so much happier as a result.
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