Here’s an important question to ask yourself. Are you creating drama in your life?
The fact is you could be making your life more difficult than it needs to be by creating drama where there doesn’t have to be any.
The reason I’m asking is because something interesting happened to me recently. I was at home feeling a little bored and wondering what to do next when I had a flashback to my younger self and suddenly realized what I used to do in my twenties when I was feeling that way. I would go out and create some drama in my life.
Of course, if you’d asked me at the time if that’s what I was doing I would have denied it. In my mind, I was just living my life. I was oblivious to my drama-queen tendencies.
Without realizing when I was bored, frustrated, or feeling stuck I would go out and create some drama.
To be honest, there was usually some inappropriate man involved who I could then fixate on hence adding to the whole dramatic effect!
Thankfully I don’t go looking for drama anymore and I am much happier with my life.
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If you need a little help toning down the drama, here are my thoughts on how to stop creating drama in your life.
Enjoy your own company
This one is huge.
If you freak out the minute you have to spend some quality time alone, you are more likely to go looking for trouble.
Naturally, this is a huge topic that can’t be covered easily in one paragraph but here’s the thing – you need to like yourself.
If deep down you think you are boring or a bad person (or whatever critical word you want to use here) you aren’t going to enjoy your own company.
Do the work to build your self-esteem and spending quality time alone will become much easier.
Need to work on your core confidence and kick all of that self-doubt to the curb? I have an excellent online course for you. How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt and Build Real Confidence is an online course by Mel Robbins over at CreativeLive.
I’ve taken this course myself and found it a game-changer for breaking toxic thought patterns (which lead to drama causing toxic action). You can read my review of the course here to see how this course could benefit you as well.
Related posts –
- 12 Ways to Enjoy Your Own Company and Make the Most of Your Time Alone
- How to Eat Alone and Actually Enjoy It
Have a healthy way of coping with boredom
I rarely get bored nowadays. With the blog, there is always something to do and writing is something I can do at any point in time.
I also love to read. I never feel bored with a thought-provoking book in my hand.
Whether it’s exercise or a fun hobby make sure you have something in your life to stop you from getting bored. Word of warning, don’t let the television be your only go-to when you are bored. It’s not a healthy substitute for a hobby.
Too much reality television = is not good for the soul.
Related posts –
- How to Overcome Boredom
- Does Reality Television Promote Bullying?
- Do you need to Rethink Your Television Viewing?
Reach out to your people
Humans are social creatures.
Sometimes when we feel frustrated or bored, it’s really social interaction and connection that we are craving.
That’s when you need to ring your best friend and head off for a coffee, wine, or just a great catch-up. If people aren’t available at the time (which often happens as we all have busy lives) take yourself out where there are lots of people and immerse yourself in your surroundings.
Related post – Do You Need to Connect with Old Friends?
Understand that drama and excitement are not the same thing
I think what we are looking for is adventure and excitement, not drama.
But sometimes particularly when we are younger we mistake them for the same thing.
Travel is exciting and adventurous. Having a fling with someone unavailable is creating drama. One will end in fantastic memories, the other in tears. Choice wisely.
Personally, I have done both and I seriously recommend the travel option!
Excitement comes from accomplishing our big kick-ass goals and dreams! What have you got to lose? Lose the drama and power forward in your life.
Stop normalizing drama
Unfortunately, if we grow up in a toxic household when we are children or if we are in a relationship with a toxic partner, we can learn to normalize drama.
If we believe drama is normal we may start to seek it out. Drama and chaos feel familiar and humans tend to gravitate towards the familiar.
If you find yourself constantly creating drama or seeking it out, I recommend getting help from a trained professional counselor to help you learn how to kick the drama habit and make better, healthier choices in life.
If counseling seems out of reach at the moment, one of the below books might be an easier resource to access.
- How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t: 14 Habits That Are Holding You Back From Happiness by Andrea Owen
- Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?: Everyday Tools for Life’s Ups and Downs by Dr. Julie Smith
- The Mountain is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery by Brianna Wiest
Avoid people who are constantly creating drama
If you want a peaceful life, it helps to avoid people who are constantly creating drama.
Look I understand that we can all be prone to a drama queen moment every now and then but it’s the people who are constantly creating drama that are best avoided.
As well as constantly creating drama, you will notice that in true drama queen style, their problems will always be bigger, worse, and more important than yours. They will generally want a lot of sympathy, empathy, time, and attention, but not be keen to reciprocate the same.
I’m sure we all know people who are experts at creating drama. They are often attention seekers and narcissists.
Don’t be dragged down by other people’s drama
Often it’s not us creating the drama, it’s us getting dragged into other people’s drama.
It might be a friend who dumps all of their problems on you but then ghosts you when you are faced with a crisis. Or it might be the person who blows all of their problems (that they often caused themselves) out of proportion but dismisses or minimizes your issues.
I’ve written a post specifically on this topic, so make sure you read – 7 Signs You Are Taking on Other People’s Problems.
Know your vices
When we are feeling frustrated, bored, or vulnerable, our vices come out to play big time.
We drink, smoke, shop, gamble, or party excessively (just to name a few).
During times of high stress or vulnerability be aware of your vices and not let them get out of hand. Whilst vices feel like fun at the moment, they often come at a massive price we have to pay later.
Related post – Know Your Trigger Words and How to Deal with Them
You can’t stop creating drama in your life if you are not aware of your behavior.
If you want to tame your inner drama queen some self-analysis is in order. Look back on some of the instances where you have created drama and drill down to the reason why it happened.
Be completely honest with yourself. Accept your role in the situation instead of blaming others.
Fixate on yourself – not someone else
The drama definitely comes from fixating on someone else’s life.
I shudder to think how much time I wasted over the years crying or obsessing over someone who wasn’t crying over me. Countless hours people! Such a waste of my time and energy.
Focus on your goals, dreams, family, hobbies, career, and anything else that makes you happy. Prioritize yourself and make exciting things happen in your life!
Know your worth
I’ve written about this one before and I keep coming back to it for a very good reason.
The truth is when you know your own worth you don’t go looking for drama.
You know you deserve better than that.
Now that I know my worth, I see and hear the drama warning signs and they are a massive turn-off, which is quite the turnaround from when I would see drama as a challenge and jump in with both feet. Now it’s just a pain in the ass I can’t be bothered with.
Related know your worth content –
- Know Your Own Worth
- Know Your Own Worth Even When it Feels Like the World Doesn’t Quite Agree with You
- Don’t Let Anyone Else Define Your Worth
Validate yourself from within
This one is aimed at women but I know men can fall into the same trap. Actually the more I think about it married men are particularly susceptible to this one.
We all like to be flattered. We like to hear compliments on how great we look and how attractive we are. We enjoy the attention. We enjoy being made feel special.
The truth is when we are going through a tough time or feeling vulnerable we can be more swayed by these compliments than we should be. We get swept up in the moment and before we know it drama ensues (this is one of the reasons affairs happen – someone is craving attention and validation and someone – not their partner – starts supplying it).
This is why seeking validation from within is so important. You are not waiting for someone to give you a compliment or pay you attention to feel good about yourself.
Give yourself the love and acceptance you need and you are much less likely to go looking for love in all the wrong places and people.
Stop creating drama in your life
Understand that you have choices and creating drama doesn’t need to be a part of your life.
Drop the drama – instead focus on achieving your goals, adventure, and fun. You will be so much happier as a result.
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Read Next – 10 Important Ways to Make Yourself a Priority