Why you should ask for what you want in a partner.

I was having an interesting conversation with one of my girlfriends recently.

We were talking about dating. More to the point, I mentioned a new partner in my life would need to be a traveler.

My girlfriend mentioned that I shouldn’t put limitations on who I meet.

While part of me understood the point she was trying to make, I still couldn’t get comfortable with it.

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Just to clarify, I don’t have a long laundry list of things I want in a partner. I don’t care about his clothes, shoes, car or a whole bunch of other material things.

I do care that he is trustworthy, respectful and that he loves me.

And that he wants to travel with me!

For me traveling is much more than going on an overseas trip once a year. It’s a mindset. It’s an attitude.

It’s about being curious and interested in other cultures, people, and history. It’s about exploration and being open to new things.

In a nutshell, traveling is part of my value system.

It’s part of who I am.

I personally don’t think giving up a core part of who we are is the best way to find a partner to spend our lives with. Over time that could lead to regret and even resentment.

If you do have a long unrealistic list of things you are looking for in a partner, it may be time to cull your list.

Take a look at your core values, the ones that define who you are as a person and seek out a partner who aligns with those values.

Do you and your partner or potential partner share the same dominant love language? Have a look at the books, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts or The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition: The Secret That Will Revolutionize Your Relationships to see if your love languages align and learn what you can do to make that alignment stronger.

If you are open and honest during the early stages of the relationship and ask for what you want you are more likely to connect with someone who is right for you.

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Read Next – 20 Questions to Ask Yourself If You Want to Find Love or if you are already in a relationship 20 Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Relationship