Feeling lonely? Click through for tips and strategies to help you cope with feeling of loneliness.

When I wrote this post about loneliness back in 2014, I had made peace with my feelings of loneliness. Unfortunately, the last couple of years have not been kind to me in the loneliness department.

Obviously, you don’t need me to remind you about COVID and everything that did for people’s loneliness levels.

In 2022, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, and at the beginning of 2025 I was diagnosed with ME/CFS. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is a serious, debilitating illness. For me, it means being housebound (at least for now). I don’t have enough energy to leave the house without having a severe crash afterwards. I went to get a blood test recently, and it was the first time out of the house in over 5 months.

It has been a very difficult couple of years, and I can honestly say that I have never felt more lonely in my life, which is a long way from my first admission about being at peace with loneliness.

You might want to grab yourself a cup of coffee or tea, because this is a big topic and this post is longer than normal. 🙂

Disclosure – This post contains affiliate links, and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links. Any compensation I receive does not affect the price you pay.

So with all of that said, here are my current thoughts on how to cope with your feelings of loneliness.

Understand that everyone feels this way at some point in their lives

We all have moments when we feel lonely.

It doesn’t matter if you are married, married with kids, or single. We all have times when we have to deal with loneliness of some description.

I don’t say this to minimize your feelings, but more to remind you that you are not the only one who feels this way. Feeling lonely does not mean that there is something wrong with you.

Own your loneliness

I think we have to own our loneliness. I think a lot of the time people do desperate things when they are lonely because they don’t want to admit they are lonely.

Being lonely is not a weakness. It’s a normal human feeling.

So own it, get comfortable sitting with it, and find ways to deal with it. Denial and self-sabotage only make things worse, so let’s skip those.

The last part about finding ways to deal with it is the key. Owning it is one step, because you can’t fix what you won’t admit to. Working out what to do next is the part where you discover what things alleviate or banish your feelings of loneliness. (More on that below).

Owning your loneliness is one thing, but you also need to make sure that you don’t allow yourself to drown in it.

It’s a tricky thing to acknowledge a painful emotion but not get too bogged down in it.

This is the reason we speak to counsellors and therapists to help us process those hard emotions.

Admit your fear

This one is going to hurt because I don’t think I have ever written this down. I have told my best this story, but only her.

I remember being about 13 years old, at a church youth group night, sitting in a big hall in the dark, thinking to myself, ‘I am going to be alone the rest of my life.’ I don’t know where that thought came from.

But it haunted me for years.

I was scared of being alone. I was scared of being single. I tried to make relationships work that were never going to, I put up with bad treatment from family because I didn’t want them to disappear and for me to be alone.

Over the years, I have had to admit this fear to myself and face it head-on. No hiding from it. No pretending. Just being completely honest with myself.

I am not afraid of it anymore.

Truth be told, if I knew then what I know now, getting a chronic illness that affects your entire life is a lot worse than being single. Turns out I was scared of the wrong thing all those years!

Do you have a fear of being alone? Have you been honest with yourself about it? It might be time to have that conversation with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with love and compassion.

Try not to wallow in heartbreak

I know this can be hard. You might be lonely because you just went through a breakup.

When I was younger, I was a wallower when it came to relationships and having my heart broken. If someone dumped me, I wallowed. A LOT.

From firsthand experience, I can tell you wallowing sucks, and it is a total waste of time.

Time you will never get back.

I understand that it can take time to grieve a relationship ending, and you should give yourself that time. Just remember that at some stage, it’s essential that you move past wallowing and into the healing phase.

Books that can help you through a breakup – 

Understand that being lonely and being alone are not the same thing

This is really important. We need to understand the difference between being alone and being lonely.

When you enjoy your own company, you enjoy time spent on your own. When you enjoy your own company, you won’t feel lonely; you will feel happy and content.

Spending time on your own does not necessarily mean you are lonely.

Don’t assume, for instance, that single people are lonely. Some might be, but a lot aren’t. They are enjoying their lives, having fun.

Not everyone wants to get married, and not everyone wants kids.

As I mentioned in a recent post on taking back your ex, being in a relationship with the wrong person can be one of the loneliest experiences. Marrying the wrong person can be a total disaster. For many years, my Mother was the loneliest woman I knew, and she was married!

You need to understand the difference between being on your own and being lonely so that the minute you are on your own, you don’t go into a loneliness spiral.

Related posts that can help you enjoy your own company – 

These books on Amazon can also help – 

Loneliness can be linked to loss

I think this is one of the things I have discovered from getting sick. Loneliness can be linked to loss. When you get a long-term illness, some people will not stick around. I have lost a close family member and one of my oldest friends.

I don’t think the loneliness I have had to deal with since getting sick would have been as bad if two of the closest people in my life hadn’t disappeared. Feeling abandoned. can make you feel more lonely. I feel that loss. That loss made the isolation so much worse.

But it hasn’t just been about losing people; it’s been about losing my health, job, freedom, financial security, and mobility. I have lost my whole lifestyle.

That’s a lot of grief on top of loneliness. If you are in a similar situation, be kind to yourself. Show yourself compassion. You are going through a lot. Don’t be hard on yourself. None of this is your fault.

Know your level of alone time

Some people need to be around people more than others. It’s that whole introvert-extrovert scenario.

Being an introvert myself, I can go for quite long periods of time by myself without feeling lonely. But even I have my limits (which I recently discovered). It’s important to know what your ‘limit’ is so that you can make plans to catch up with people before you start to feel isolated.

Regardless of whether you are an introvert or extrovert, it’s important to know when you have had too much time on your own. It’s worth mentioning that extroverts need to work out when they need time alone because spending time alone is not something they normally do.

Reach out to your best friend

Feelings of loneliness are usually a trigger that we need to connect with people. They are often a sign that we are feeling isolated.

Often the best way to short-circuit feelings of loneliness is to connect with someone who we already have a strong emotional bond with.

You can’t go past your best friend when you are feeling a bit low. They know your history, personality, and character traits and are the quickest way to feel a sense of connection and joy.

Many years ago I had just gotten back from an overseas trip. My long-term relationship and amazing holiday had both ended. I found myself at the World Expo in Brisbane one particular day, surrounded by 100,000 people, yet I felt incredibly lonely. I used a pay phone (this was long before mobiles) and called my best friend. That call changed everything for me. Thankfully, that best friend is still a big part of my life, 48 years later!

Reach out to people

Granted, this sounds easy, but sometimes it’s not.

When we are stuck in a bout of loneliness, we might resist reaching out to people. We do the complete opposite of what we should be doing and hide in our cave.

I now understand that it’s not as easy as ‘just reach out’. Having a seriously energy-limiting illness means that I may want to reach out and talk to people, but I simply don’t have the energy to do so. Every interaction affects my energy, which makes it hard.

For you, it might not be lack of energy; it might be something else that stops you from reaching out.

When you can, reach out to your friends or family.

It’s important to be intentional about who you choose to reach out to. Avoid narcissistic people; they are not going to be the ones to help you. They are going to make it all about them and diminish your feelings. That is not what you need when you are feeling lonely.

If you need help with depression or anxiety, please reach out to a trained medical professional. You could also call a helpline in your city or country. Most places have some sort of help available, so use it if you need it.

Don’t take someone being busy personally

Okay, so you’re feeling a bit lonely, and you reach out to someone to catch up – but they are busy or can’t make time for you just at the moment.

Accept this is part of life.

We love our friends, we love our families, but we have to remember they have their own lives as well. Sometimes our friends simply aren’t available, and that is okay. Book a catch-up in your calendar to see them as soon as you can.

Don’t do the ‘I have no friends’ panic when your friends are busy. You have friends; they are just unavailable right now.

Get off social media and meet people face to face

You would think with all the electronic connectivity we have in our modern world, no one would ever be lonely because there are so many ways we can talk to people.

Wrong.

Sometimes I wonder if all of this connectivity has made all of us feel more alone than ever?

It’s important to get off social media and meet people face to face.

Sometimes what we need is a big old-fashioned hug or to laugh so much we cry, or to look someone in the eye as they are telling us something important.

Get on the phone

If you can’t meet up with someone in person, ring them and speak to them in person.

In person does not mean sending them a text message. I know text messages are brilliant for a whole range of things, but deeply connecting with someone – not so much.

Hearing the sound of someone’s voice can make all the difference. It can immediately put a smile on our face and make us feel connected and loved.

Connect with a pet

I got a cat in October 2023. She was a rescue. But honestly, she rescued me. I would not have made it through the last couple of years without her.

On my darkest days, when I was overwhelmed with fatigue and pain and could barely walk, looking into her beautiful little face was a game-changer. On my worst days, she gives me reason to get up in the morning.

I play with her as much as I can. She makes me laugh out loud with her crazy antics.

She stops me from feeling lonely. I don’t feel lonely with her by my side.

Pets are wonderful company and great companions. They give you a sense of unconditional love.

My cat also provides me with a sense of responsibility, which helps me to focus more on her and less on myself.

Connect with nature

Get out among nature. This doesn’t mean you have to go on some big road trip or fly to some exotic location.

It will most likely mean taking a trip to your city park or botanical garden.

Whatever connecting with nature means for you – get outside and feel the sun on your face and the wind in your hair. Lie on a patch of cool, lush green grass and breathe deeply. Hell, hug a tree if that helps!

Get physical

Feeling lonely? Then it’s time to get that body moving. It’s time for a walk, jog, run, bike ride, swim, or yoga session.

Whatever physical activity you like doing, it’s time to get off the couch and go do it. If you can get someone to go with you, fabulous. If not, no problem head out by yourself.

Just get those natural feel-good chemicals pumping!

Do activities that you love

I mentioned earlier about friends not always being available. It happens!

Different stages in life can make it harder for people to find time to connect. Young babies, elderly parents that need care, dealing with teenagers, starting a new relationship, or our career all may need special attention from time to time.

Sometimes you will want to go to the movies or go out for lunch, and people won’t be available.

Here’s an idea – Go by yourself!

Yep, I know just reading that will have freaked some people out. Just because your family, friends, or partner are not available does not mean that you have to sit around waiting for them to be available!

Get out there and do things you love. It will give you things to talk about when you catch up with the amazing people in your life.

Help others

Sometimes we need to realize just how lucky we are.

Helping people less fortunate than ourselves gives us a wake-up call. Helping others requires us to make it about them and not all about us.

Get out of your own little world

We all have times where we get caught up in our own little world. Sometimes that world can be very small and limiting.

It might be about a dispute with our neighbor, something going on at work, or a fight we had with our other half.

Whatever it is, it takes over our hearts and minds. It’s all we talk about. We stress about it, and we go over the same conversations over and over again in our heads.

This sort of thinking can lead to feelings of loneliness and ultimately depression because our world shrinks around our problems.

When you feel yourself stuck in your own little world, make a conscious effort to do something to snap yourself out of it. Getting out of the house and doing something completely different or unusual is the best place to start.

Related post – How to Have a Big Life When Your Life Feels Small

Don’t be desperate

Let’s face it, people can do stupid things when they are lonely.

Bad relationships spring to mind. Awful one-night stands are up on the list. Drinking way too much. Ringing any bells? I am not being judgmental here – I have rung a few desperation bells over the years myself.

We all have our demons that surface when we feel lonely. I can tell you from experience that desperation will only make you feel worse.

Actions that will soothe your lonely soul (like the positive ones on this list) are a much better option.

Understand moments of loneliness will pass

Feelings of loneliness will pass. I know it might not feel like that way when you are stuck in a bout of it, but it will.

I am sure you saw this coming, but you need to take action to break yourself out of loneliness. You need to be active and participate in your own happiness. You need to work out what healthy habits and actions make you feel less lonely and do more of them.

Your attitude is a defining factor. Remember you are in control and you get to make your own decisions.

Make peace with being alone

Make peace with feelings of loneliness when they arise. The easiest way to overcome bouts of loneliness is to make peace with being on your own and enjoy your own company.

If you can enjoy your own company, you are less likely to feel lonely and more likely to truly appreciate when you spend time with other people.

How do you cope with loneliness? What methods do you use to get yourself back on track?

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