The Myth of a Life with No Regrets

No Regrets

You see it written everywhere. Personal development blogs and motivational quotes often push the live life with no regrets mantra.

Here’s my take on the life with no regrets message.

It’s bull. Rubbish. Crapola.

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I haven’t met a person who doesn’t have a regret (or two). At 18, perhaps you may not have regrets (though I doubt it), but at 60 (yes, that’s my current age), I think it’s downright impossible.

Between romantic relationships, friendships, family, and work, you are bound to have some regrets. Stuff you wish you hadn’t done, relationships you wish you hadn’t had, family conflicts you could have done without. Then, of course, there is the stuff you wish you had done. One or both lists may be long and complex.

Trying to implement a life with “no regrets” could be seen just as harmful as trying to have a “perfect life” since neither of them exists.

It’s time to debunk the myth of no regrets and get to the core of the matter.

It’s the attitude you have about your regrets that matters.

It’s how you deal with them, process them, grow from them, and move forward that’s important.

It’s about whether you allow your regrets to have a positive or negative effect on your life.

Books about regret that may help you –

The Power of Regret: How Looking Backwards Moves Us Forward by Daniel H. Pink
Top 5 Regrets of The Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing by Bronnie Ware

If your regrets are holding you back or stopping you from living a full, happy life, then clearly your regrets are a problem, and you are going to have to do a bit of soul-searching on how to remedy the situation.

Just to be clear, soul-searching is not wallowing.

Wallowing in your regrets won’t help you one bit – it will just make them look like bigger, scarier, uglier beasts that you will be even more reluctant to deal with.

Related post – How Often Do You Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda?

Ignoring regrets won’t work either.

To be honest, ignoring regrets might seem to work for a while, considering all the distractions we have in modern life, but eventually, with time, those regrets will resurface.

Regrets teach us valuable lessons.

I know you might have rolled your eyes at that one, since lessons can be another overdone personal development cliché, but they are important, and we need to start learning from them.

The idea of lessons is to teach us to stop making the same mistakes over and over again, yet so many of us (including me) don’t always pick up on this concept. We keep making the same mistakes (all the while telling ourselves that this was different because of ‘submit your excuse here’).

Hindsight can be a wonderful thing; it can help us turn our regrets from negative to positive. It can sometimes put things into perspective for us.

Regrets can be positive. Our regrets can guide and motivate us onto bigger and better things.

Regrets can challenge us to seek out adventure and possibilities.

Regrets can help us recognize an opportunity.

Do you think it’s possible to have a life with no regrets? Or do you agree it’s how we handle the regrets we do have that makes all the difference?

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