reconnecting with old friendsI have a question for you. Do you need to reconnect with old friends? Do you have a particular friend that you want to reach out to that you haven’t seen in a while?

I reconnected with an old friend over breakfast recently. I didn’t realize time had gotten away from me and I hadn’t seen her in a year. I was shocked when I realized how long it had been.

We had a wonderful time.

It was lovely catching up with her and hearing all about how her life was going. It was a big wake up call for me.

As regular readers will know last year wasn’t the best year for me. For various reasons, I spent a lot of time alone and didn’t see some of my friends as often.

I lost touch with a lot of people. Consequently, I’m on a mission to reconnect with some of my wonderful friends.

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Here are my tips on how you can reconnect with old friends as well.

Make the effort

I wasn’t making the effort last year. I had my reasons but now those reasons have resolved themselves. It’s time to cast off those unpleasant memories and move forward.

Making the effort could mean contacting friends more than once.

Don’t just ring a friend, leave a message and then dismiss them if they don’t ring back straight away or at all for that matter. We are all busy, we miss messages or we hear a message and think I must call them back, then get busy and forget.

Reaching out to people means taking that into consideration. You might have to make a concentrated effort to get in touch with them.

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Be patient

Just because I’m ready to see more of my friends doesn’t mean that they are going to have tonnes of time to spare. I need to work in with their timetables as well as them working in with mine.

Be patient and realize that give and take is required.

Don’t expect people to drop their plans for you (especially if you haven’t seen them for a long time).

Looking for some excellent books on friendship – 

Don’t do all the talking

When you haven’t seen someone for a while it can be tempting to tell them everything that has been going on. That’s great but remember not to be the one doing all the talking. Exchange back and forth is the best way to go because you want to hear about all everything they’ve been up to as well.

If you do all the talking, all of the time, people will start to doubt how interested you are in them.

Listening to people is a great way to truly connect.

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Make a real effort to connect

Be sincere. Whether you are making new friends or reconnecting with old ones – be sincere.

Don’t try to fake caring about people. Don’t spend time with people just because you are feeling lonely. Spend time with people because you genuinely care about them. Focus on spending quality time with people.

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Don’t use people

Let’s face it the world is full of users. I know that sounds negative but it’s also a fact.

Don’t be a user and don’t allow people to use you.

No exceptions (yes that applies to family as well, just in case you were wondering). Being related doesn’t mean you can use people.

Don’t overwhelm people

You want people to feel like you want to spend time with them, not like they are being stalked.

Some relationships can resume like not a day has gone by, you can virtually continue where you left off. Others don’t quite work that way. Others you need to build your relationship again. Don’t ask probing, intimate questions if you haven’t seen people for a while. Spend time with them and rebuild the relationship first.

Again be patient when you are trying to reconnect. Trust takes time.

Reconnecting with old friends

Before you start sending emails off to every person you haven’t spoken to for a while you might want to consider another approach.

Choose wisely.

Instead of a scattergun approach trying to connect with everyone – pick out friends you really want to reconnect with and focus on them. Basically, don’t spread yourself too thin.

Go for quality over quantity at least in the beginning then you can build momentum and reach out to more people.

Of course, if you want to connect with lots of people all at once, get them to the same place and have one hell of a party! That might work too!

Our friendships are an important part of our lives. It takes time, effort and care to grow and nurture friendships. Do you need to reconnect with old friends? Is there someone in your life that you want to reconnect with?

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