stop picking people to pieces

I was at a bar with some friends recently when I noticed the conversation take an unpleasant turn. Every time someone walked in the door, the people I was with would critique them, picking them to pieces. They picked on their clothes, hair, shoes, you name it.

It was a tad unsettling.

I love people-watching. I love seeing all sorts of different people. I find it fascinating. Of course, I’ve had negative thoughts about how certain people look but I tend to keep those to myself.

Criticizing others seems far too common and in some cases becomes a bit of a team sport. I find it concerning when criticizing other people is a form of entertainment.

Here are my thoughts on how to stop picking people to pieces.

Stop bagging things just because they aren’t your cup of tea

I don’t have any tattoos, I would never get one but I certainly don’t criticize people for having them. Several of my closest friends have more than one tattoo.

In my opinion, the world would be a kinder, gentler place if we respected other people’s choices (even when they are not the same as our own).

Related postWhy It’s Okay to Be Different

Don’t assume you know something about a person by their appearance

This ranges from clothes to hair to the way people act. Don’t assume you know someone’s life story because of the way they look on the outside.

Just because someone is wearing a short/tight dress doesn’t mean they are ‘full of themselves’ and know they look wonderful. It can often mean just the opposite, they may be feeling insecure. By wearing something revealing they are hoping to get noticed which will temporarily boost their self-esteem.

Stop criticizing people’s bodies

Volumes could be written on this topic.

We are downright nasty when it comes to other people’s bodies. I’m not sure what gives us the right to think we can judge people so harshly.

There is so much more to someone than what they look like on the outside – so much more!

Just a thought – if you are sitting on the couch watching ‘The Biggest Loser’ or some other weight-related program eating a bowl of ice cream criticizing the contestants you might want to rethink your approach!

Understand nobody’s perfect

We seem to be caught up in wanting people to be perfect.

Magazines Photoshop people so much, that they barely look human then millions of people try to copy the same look. We rush to plastic surgeons and put ourselves through torturous procedures over a perceived flaw.

Please stop this obsession with looking perfect. Stop beating yourself against a brick wall chasing a concept that does not exist!

Related post – 21 Powerful Ways to Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin

Give young people a break

Remember you were young once too and while you might not have dressed in the same manner as some of the twenty-somethings today (short skirts for example) I bet you wore some ‘interesting’ outfits yourselves.

Before criticizing other people, think about your old photo collection. If there are not some shockers in there I’ll be surprised, even more so if you grew up through the 80’s. Fashion wise it was brutal! Hairstyles alone were cringe-worthy.

The next time to go to criticize someone’s outfit think of your worst ensemble ever and have a laugh to yourself instead!

Take a step back from celebrity slamming

Nothing seems more subjected to critique than the world of celebrities.

Morning talk shows rip the look and actions of celebrities to pieces. Panels of ‘experts’ give their opinion on the most minute (and might I add irrelevant) celebrity activities.

One thing I’ve noticed is how few interviews with see with the actual celebrity themselves. Nowadays we mostly talk about them, not to them.

Then there are the gossip magazines and the Internet. One week someone is too fat, a month later they are too thin. Then they wear a dress that the ‘experts’ don’t like or God forbid get a haircut and the Internet breaks. People care but I can’t help but question WHY?

Stop having fun at other people’s expense

Originally this wasn’t in the post but as I was writing, it dawned on me that it should be included.

I shudder at this thought but I also realized that some people pick on other people for fun.

I can’t say this strongly enough – stop. Stop now.

This sort of behavior is mean-spirited and toxic. If you are constantly picking on other people for fun, you need a hobby. You need more substance and purpose in your life. Go out and find something that you are passionate about and leave other people alone.

Related post – 10 Ways to Cultivate Kindness in Your Life and Other People’s

Are you criticizing them or yourself?

Sometimes I can’t help but wonder – who are we really criticizing?

When we pick on other people it is perhaps something in ourselves that we are unhappy about. Are we in fact, projecting our dissatisfaction or insecurities onto someone else because there is an element in our own lives we can’t quite face or come to terms with?

To be brutally honest, I’ve noticed this situation with one of my friends. When I find myself being overly critical of her, it usually means there is something about myself that I am angry or disappointed with. I see my faults reflected through her actions and it frustrates me.

Perhaps ripping into other people lets us not have to focus on ourselves. While we are criticizing others we think it keeps us shielded from taking too closer look at ourselves.

Related postAre You Filled with Self-Love or Self-Loathing?

Stop picking people to pieces

Instead of criticizing other people, opt for kindness. Choose acceptance and understanding. Practice kindness and compassion. 

Embrace a live and let live approach. Give it a try! Experience how being less critical and more open and caring can rock your world and the lives of other people!

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends via the social media buttons provided.

Related post – 19 Life-Changing Ways to Stop Being Critical of Others