Yesterday I wrote Part 1 of Know Your Own Beauty.
As mentioned in part 1, I wish I had appreciated my own beauty when I was younger, instead, I was incredibly insecure about my looks.
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Important Note – I am not a medical professional or trained therapist, so if you are struggling with depression, an eating disorder or suspect you may have a mental illness, please consult a medical professional for assistance.
Here are more tips on knowing your own beauty and why it’s so important. Just a reminder this is a three part series so make sure you read the whole series.
Love yourself without all of the makeup
One for the ladies. In my early twenties, I had a boyfriend who didn’t see me without makeup when we first started dating. I would sometimes get out of bed and put on my makeup first thing in the morning before he woke up.
At the time I was suffering from a breakout of adult acne, which did little for my confidence. My boyfriend was also incredibly vain (and yes I wonder why I was dating him at all now). I think at the time, I saw him as one of the cool guys and I wanted to fit in.
I paid the price. I found out later he cheated on me repeatedly, always looking for the next pretty girl he could brag about to his friends.
Don’t hide your beauty under layers of makeup. I have often seen a beautiful woman but thought – pity she wears so much makeup – she would look better with less.
Related content to help you know your own worth –
- Know Your Own Worth
- Stop Listening to Other People’s Opinions and Start Believing in Yourself
- Stop Waiting for Acceptance – Accept Yourself
- Don’t Let Anyone Else Define Your Worth
- 20 Know Your Worth Quotes to Improve Your Self-Worth
Stop being shallow
Time for another not so nice confession. I was probably a bit shallow when I was younger. Not my proudest admission.
I was a bit too much into how people looked.
I chose men because they were good looking only to find out they weren’t very nice people (or perhaps like me they were shallow and/or insecure as well).
If you are constantly obsessing about your looks it might be time to stop focusing on yourself and take a look at the world outside.
There is a big world out there just waiting for you to take an interest and pay attention.
Move past being obsessed with your appearance. You will be much happier that you did.
Accept people have different tastes
Unfortunately when we are young and female a part of our self-esteem can sometimes come from how men see us – not how we see ourselves.
One of the many dangers of seeking outside validation for the way we feel about our looks is that people have different tastes. One person might find you attractive while another one won’t.
If you feel personally slighted by every person who doesn’t find you attractive you are setting yourself up for feelings of rejection on a major scale.
Not to mention people can be fickle. If you aren’t offering up what they are looking for (whatever that might be), they will simply move onto the next person. It’s often more a numbers game than a who’s the most beautiful or even who could I actually like.
As I mentioned in an earlier post I was thin in my twenties. I didn’t appeal to men who liked curves on a woman.
I struggled with feelings of inadequacy because a lot of men didn’t find me attractive. What a terrible waste of my time and energy that was!
Imagine the fun and adventures I could have been having if I wasn’t worried about why certain men didn’t find me attractive. Thankfully there were men who liked petite girls.
Don’t expect or want to appeal to everyone. More importantly, don’t see or judge your beauty through someone else’s eyes.
You need to be able to clearly see your beauty from your own perspective.
Knowing your own beauty coupled with high self-esteem will help you when people are critical about the way you look. Without that inner strength and conviction, any negative feedback will send you into a spiral of self-doubt and low self-esteem.
Don’t give people that sort of power over you.
Understand people see a lot more than your looks
I appreciate that people like beautiful things.
We are attracted to beauty (or as I stated earlier our personal version of what we consider beautiful).
There is no doubt that being beautiful will get people’s attention.
The one thing I have noticed as I have gotten older is that beauty might get people’s attention but it won’t hold it if there’s nothing behind the attractive facade.
I remember meeting a friend of a friend years ago. This girl was stunning to look at until she opened her mouth. It didn’t take long in her company to realize who she was as a person.
For starters, she knew she was beautiful. While there is nothing wrong with that (after all isn’t that what I’m trying to do with this piece – get you to know your own beauty) she took it much further.
She was incredibly vain and conceited. She considered herself better than other people solely based on her looks. She demanded free drinks (again because of her beauty) from the waiter serving us. Before long I discovered she was a bigot, racist, and a bully.
She treated men like crap and wasn’t friendly towards other women either.
After seeing who she really was as a person – I never thought of her as beautiful again. I also made sure our paths didn’t cross often because she was unpleasant to be around.
Looks will only get you so far. If there is nothing behind your beauty (like personality, kindness, humor or intelligence) people will lose interest.
The same applies if you look beautiful on the outside but inside you feel like an insecure, empty shell who constantly needs outside validation.
No amount of flattery or attention can fill that void if you don’t believe in yourself.
You are beautiful and you have a lot of wonderful gifts to offer the world. Believe in yourself, be kind to yourself and to other people and you will experience much more beauty in your life.
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Read next – Know Your Own Beauty Part 3