I wrote the post How to Maintain Your Self-Confidence During Times of Adversity back in 2012.
At the time I wrote the post, I was dealing with the challenge of finding a job. Little did I realize just how much I would need to take my own advice down the track.
Fast forward and I am job hunting again, this time in an even slower job market. It has been a challenging couple of months.
Emotionally it has felt like being on a roller coaster. Some days you feel your confidence soar, throw your arms up in the air, feel the wind of your face and enjoy the ride.
Other days you want to puke on your shoes.
Here are some more tips for how to maintain your self-confidence during times of adversity.
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Focus on what is within your control
Often when things go pear-shaped we feel totally out of control.
Despite whatever hardship we are facing there is usually some part of our lives that is within our control.
You could be having problems in your relationship but your work life is going well. You might have work problems but you are in a good spot financially.
If we take a closer look we can usually always find something that is well within our control and moving along nicely. Capitalize on what you can control, instead of obsessing about what you can’t.
Don’t be fatalistic
Not long after I finished up my job, I got sick. Getting sick didn’t come as a great surprise, it was simply my body responding to the stress I was experiencing and the fact that I was physically exhausted from the last five grueling months.
I’m the first to admit I am a cream puff when I get sick. To be honest, it’s usually when I am at my most vulnerable. When I get sick I tend to wallow. I start feeling sorry for myself and get all fatalistic.
Being fatalistic is easy to spot – you start using the word never a lot. I’ll never get another job, I’ll never meet anyone, I’ll never get out of debt. When you feel yourself falling into this trap – stop yourself.
What I did on this occasion was drag my sorry butt to the doctor to get the antibiotics I needed to heal my body. The wallowing and the I’ll never’s went away quickly after that.
Everyone is allowed their moments of poor me but its the bouncing back quickly that’s important.
Related post – 3 Ways to Dramatically Improve Your Positive Self-Talk
Be aware of your feelings
As I mentioned in my birthday post on Monday, it would be easy to focus on everything that isn’t going my way at the moment but I don’t want to do that.
It’s also not healthy to deny our feelings. Ultimately they find a way of coming out whether we want them to or not, which is why we can sometimes find ourselves yelling at someone we are not really mad at.
Better to choose when you express your feelings rather than have them bubbling all over the place at the most inappropriate moment.
Don’t deny your feelings, deal with them.
Accept your current circumstances
Have you ever asked yourself the question – How Did I Get Here?
I’m sure we all have asked that question at some point. Sometimes we find ourselves way off course through no fault of our own. We also self-sabotage our success but that’s a whole different post.
When hardship strikes or we simply find ourselves in a different place to the one we expected to be in, we tend to ask that question a little too much.
The sooner we stop resisting and find a healthy level of acceptance for our current circumstances the better off we will be.
The problem with resisting (often known as being stuck in the past) is that it strips away our energy and time. Energy and time are limited resources, once we waste them, they are gone.
Spend your time and energy moving forward instead of looking back.
Related post – Don’t Let the Past Hold You Back
Look for opportunities
Yes you read that correctly – look for opportunities.
Though we might not see if at first, there can be a lot of opportunities arising out of hardship or a sudden change in direction.
Don’t always write everything off as a bad event, dig a little deeper to see what opportunities can be found in a particular situation.
You could be pleasantly surprised. Back in 2000 I was living in London with my then partner. My relationship was a mess and I was miserable, overall not a happy time in my life, yet during that time I signed up for an online writing course. The course sparked my passion for writing, which led to coaching (which was one of the positive turning points in my life), which lead to this blog.
Without those miserable months in London, I may not have started writing and I wouldn’t have experienced so many other amazing opportunities.
Some of the best things that have happened to me are moments that have risen out of the ashes. Look for opportunities everywhere you can.
Make sure you read the original post – How to Maintain your Self-Confidence During Times of Adversity
If you are job hunting you might also benefit from this post – How to Stay Positive, Motivated and Sane During the Job Hunting Process
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This goes along with your first point, focus on what you can control, but I’d like to pull out Take Care Of Yourself.
When you’re exercising and making sure you’re healthy, you feel better about yourself. It allows you to maintain a level of confidence even if things around you are falling down.