Obsessing over what you don’t have can be a trap. It can make your life miserable. I fell into this exact trap recently.
I was obsessing over what I didn’t have.
I was thinking about a particular topic and my mind instantly jumped to all of the things I don’t currently have. My mind automatically went to a negative place.
While my list of don’t haves may actually be valid, thinking of it in such a negative way instantly placed me in a demotivated state.
In that moment, I felt inadequate and insecure.
Thankfully, I quickly recognized my negative thoughts and downward spiral and snapped myself out of it.
Here are my 5 thoughts on how to stop obsessing over what you don’t have.
Be grateful for what you do have
The minute you start rattling off your I don’t have list, start coming up with a gratitude list to counteract each point.
You must be aware of all of the amazing things you do have in your life.
Keep a gratitude journal or start every day by stating what you are grateful for. Better yet, start and end each day with something you appreciate and value in your life.
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Don’t miss opportunities
By focusing on what you don’t currently have, it can be very easy to miss a stunning opportunity that is right in front of you. Through your negative haze, you don’t see true potential.
Don’t let this happen to you. Stay open to possibility.
This isn’t about possessions
If your don’t-have list reads something like – I don’t have a Ferrari, a million dollars, or a mansion by the beach, you are missing the whole point.
This isn’t about possessions.
Come to think of it, not one thing on my negative list yesterday actually was a possession. Most of it didn’t involve money. Granted, some of my items included achieving my goals, which would result in making money, but the list wasn’t laser-focused on the money itself.
It was much more based around how I was feeling about myself and my goals at the time.
Related post – What Do You Value Most – Experiences of Possessions?
Figure out what you want
Because I was being negative in that particular moment, my thoughts may not truly reflect what I actually want.
Let’s face it, often we latch onto a negative thought and go to town with it. Sometimes we are simply being hard on ourselves. Other times we let our minds wander (the problem being they tend to wander off in a destructive direction).
There was one item on my list that stood out. To be honest, it has been bugging me for a long time. It is a goal I have not completed. If you have an honest look at your negative thoughts, many will probably come from tasks you have not completed or perhaps haven’t even started yet.
These incomplete goals will weigh on your mind until you do something about them.
Related post – How To Be More Self-Aware
Know your triggers
You may have triggers that cause you to obsess over what you don’t have.
I will give you an example from my own life. A trigger for me is when I see a close family interacting lovingly with each other. While I do have a family and I love them to bits, we aren’t like that. We aren’t one of those close, confide in each other, share our lives families. Occasionally, we are (and I cherish those moments), but not very often.
Seeing a loving family interact makes me think about the family closeness that I don’t have.
When these feelings come up, I have to be prepared to deal with them. Knowing I have that trigger helps.
Turn your don’t have list into inspiration
In a nutshell, this is about quitting your bitching and taking action.
I have already taken action on the number one issue on my list. I took the first step; however, I am a long way from completion. With this in mind, I need to guide this project over the finish line. Only then will this negative thought drop off my radar and turn from a negative into a positive.
Stop obsessing over what you don’t have
The key is focusing on all of the wonderful gifts you do have and making the most of them to help you work through the truly important items on your don’t-have list.
Related post – 14 Powerful Take Action Quotes
Do you find yourself focusing more on what you don’t have rather than the bounty of great things you do have in your life?
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Sometimes I do fall into that trap. Especially about where I live.
It’s easy to get distracted and see the beauty in other cities and destinations. To long for the things they offer. All the while forgetting and missing the great things our city has.
Great post, Thea. I too battle the “I do not have…” syndrome occasionally until, like you, I look around at all the things for which I am grateful. We both travel quite a bit and those travels often bring into focus “all of the amazing things” we do have in our lives. Thanks for the reminder.