Cleaning can be very therapeutic.
During a session of vacuuming on the weekend, a thought popped into my head and I couldn’t shake it.
What was my vacuuming revelation?
Life is primarily made up of two factors – your choices and random events.
Let’s take a look at two factors that will determine the course of your life.
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Your Choices
I believe a huge part of our life is made up of our choices. Our choices have a profound effect on how things turn out.
Some choices are not rocket science. If you choose to spend more money than you earn, you end up in debt. If you constantly eat fatty foods you put on weight.
As we all know choices have consequences both good and bad.
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Some choices are set in stone, others easily changeable. Many of the set in stone options have more flexibility than we imagine. If something doesn’t work out we can try something else.
Some choices like marriage and children have a huge impact on our lives, others barely make a difference.
Or at least that’s how we often view things. I’m starting to understand that a lot of our small decisions can have a big impact. One cigarette here, a drink there, buying a pair of shoes you can’t afford, popping a few dollars into a slot machine repeated over time can all add up.
A lot of our seemingly insignificant choices can have a snowball effect.
Often we don’t want to take responsibility or be accountable for our choices. It’s sometimes easier to blame our partner, parents, friends or crappy boss for the trouble we get ourselves into.
Most of the time there is no one to blame but ourselves. At first, that fact could be a little confronting but give it some more thought. It’s actually quite liberating. It means that we have more control and power over our situation than we imagined.
Often we underestimate the power of our choices.
This isn’t about not making mistakes either. We all make mistakes. If you are not making mistakes, you are probably not trying to learn, grow or improve and that can be the biggest mistake of all.
You shouldn’t be afraid to make mistakes.
Bear in mind there is a difference between not knowing something is a mistake and knowing full well an action is going to negatively impact your life and doing it anyway. I have done this myself in the past (more times than I care to admit) and it always comes back to bite you or someone else. These sorts of mistakes often hurt people.
A problem arises when you keep making the same bad choices and the same mistakes over and over again.
I will give you a painful and embarrassing example from my own history.
Unfortunately, I used to be attracted to bad boys. For this post, I won’t go into the reasons why but suffice to say I could write a book about the topic!
Despite the fact that I knew certain people were bad for me, I kept repeating the same mistake by choosing the wrong sort of person.
While there were moments when these people were fun to be around, it didn’t outweigh the prolonged periods of heartache and low self-esteem I ultimately suffered.
While it would be easy to blame the men involved, it was me who was making the bad choices by hooking up with them in the first place. I didn’t learn from my mistakes (at least not in the beginning).
Thankfully my self-esteem, values, and choices are now aligned and bad boys don’t even factor on my radar anymore. A sign of disrespectful behavior is an instant turn off.
The more control you have over your choices the happier you will be.
You might be thinking all of this control sounds a little boring but you need to start looking at control in another way. Think of it in the realm of adventure, freedom, fun, spontaneity and boundless options, instead of something that limits you.
Don’t think that your choices need to be all about giving up or sacrificing the things you want. Compromise and making sacrifices may be required but ultimately it’s about deciding what is most important to you and choosing to make it a key priority in your life.
Random Events
This is the stuff that keeps us awake at night.
These are the events we stress and worry about. It’s being told we have cancer or being involved in a serious car accident. It’s being on the receiving end of a natural disaster.
Random events, in this context, means the stuff that happens to us.
It’s justifiably scary because a lot of it is out of our control.
That’s where we go full circle. Some of the random stuff, like the car accident, for example, isn’t all that random. Often it can be the result of someone else’s choices. Getting behind the wheel of a car after having a few drinks would be an example of a bad choice that hurts innocent people.
Your choices have consequences.
While we have no control over certain events in life, we certainly have control over our own decisions.
True power exists in your choices. Are you making the most of yours?
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This is a super important topic. I have found that by learning to make good choices is the one quality that will start a person on the path to happiness and success.
You have written a very good article on this most important subject, choices. Making good choices is the keystone to enjoying a good life with out drama and conflict. By making a good choice we can eliminate so many bad experiences.
Good article. I’m enjoying your writing. My good choice was subscribing to your blog.
What is the comment luv box below? Your blog is the only place I’ve seen one of these. I don’t check boxes of things that I don’t understand. Lee
Hi Lee
Lovely to have you here, thank you so much for commenting.
I am so glad you enjoyed the post. You are right it is such an important topic. I think sometimes we feel at the mercy of so many things out of our control when in fact we have more control when we realise, simply by making better choices for ourselves. I am so pleased you are enjoying the blog and my writing. You made my day when you mentioned your good choice was subscribing! 🙂
Comment love is a plugin where people can leave a link back to their most recent blog post. It is to help with traffic and links etc. I use the free option but there is a pro one that you can buy that I know a lot of people like.
Again great to see you here Lee.
I hope you have a fantastic day.
Cheers
Thea
I agree whole-heartedly. Even those tiny decisions make a difference and can back you into a corner before long. Even those bad choices though give you something to learn from – if you try to learn from them at least.
Hi Kirstie
Always lovely to see you! So true, learning from those bad choices is definitely the key.
Cheers
Thea
Thank you so much for this!
This may be called a ‘random event’ – this well timed post coming to me when I needed it the most. My choice is to take heed. I have some very big, no, huge, no absolutely triple decker bus sized choices to make at the moment and I have been fearing the impact of what will or will not happen if I make or don’t make those choices.
I love how you phrased: “Think of it in the realm of adventure, freedom, fun, spontaneity and boundless options, instead of something that limits you.” We tie ourselves down sometimes with these choices when they should be, as you said, liberating!
Thank you!
Angharad
Hi Angharad
Thank you for your lovely comment. It’s lovely to have you here on the blog.
It’s always wonderful when someone says that a particular post was exactly what they needed at the time. That is fantastic to hear!! I am so please the post helped you in what sounds like some mammoth choices you have on your plate. i wish you all the best with whatever is happening for you in the future.
Again I am so pleased you found the post helpful and thanks again for taking the time to leave a comment.
Cheers and all the best for the future
Thea