When I was working with a coach, we talked about self-limiting beliefs.
As you can imagine by the name, a self-limiting belief is something that you believe that can and will hold you back from accomplishing your goals and dreams.
The real danger of these little suckers is that we often don’t realize they even exist. They linger in the background of our minds, causing fear and doubt in our lives.
The way we talk to ourselves has a huge influence on our productivity, performance, and self-esteem.
Over the course of writing this blog, I have tried to walk the talk on the personal development side of things. Writing this blog has taught me a lot. Coaching was a huge turning point for me as well.
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So imagine my surprise when I realized over the weekend, I had picked up a new self-limiting belief.
I couldn’t help but wonder – how did this happen?
It started out with a simple thought. A thought expressed about a particular fear.
It started with ‘I don’t know how to…’
Just to be clear this thought wasn’t used in a way where all I had to do was learn how to do the task. It was expressed in a negative way implying that I couldn’t, no matter what I learned, carry out the task.
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Harmless enough if it is a one-off random thought. The problem is one-off scary thoughts seem to like holding parties. Before you know it, 50 of the same negative thoughts have come for drinks.
Then they decide to stick around and trash the place.
Without realizing it, I had been repeating this, ‘I don’t know how to …’ declaration over and over again.
Before I knew it, I believed it.
This negative cascade of energy was stopping me from working on my eBook and stopping me from making the progress I needed.
It was slowly creeping into my everyday vocabulary.
If I didn’t put a stop to this negative thought, it was going to ruin my business prospects.
The great thing is once you realize you have a problem; you can start working on it straight away. You can silence that negative thought in your head and kick those beer-drinking party crashers out the door.
This is one of the priceless benefits of coaching. While issues still arise, I recognize them early, know how to handle them and most importantly am prepared to do the work to get myself back on track. I won’t lie though, sometimes it takes me a little longer than I would like.
Have you ever spoken to someone who announced they have given a problem a lot of thought, and they know what is wrong and exactly what they need to do about it? Then they do absolutely nothing.
Don’t fall into this trap. Recognize a problem and act on it.
The important thing for me now is to transform, “I don’t know how to…” into ‘ This is how you do it.’
Deep down I know this limiting belief has no legs. I know it is not rational, logical, or true.
What self-limiting belief is sabotaging your life that you don’t even know about?
It could be something like:
- I’m not good at relationships
- I’m not good at job interviews
- I’m not good with money
- I’m not a good manager
- I’m not lovable
- I’m not pretty enough
- I’m not smart enough
- I don’t deserve to be happy
- I don’t deserve a promotion
- I don’t know how to run a business
- I don’t know how to save money
- I don’t know how to make money online
- I don’t know how to work for myself.
Obviously, some items on this list are easier to work through than others but all of them require you to start somewhere.
Self-doubt is a habit. To tackle that habit head-on, I recommend the How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt and Build Real Confidence online course by the amazing Mel Robbins over at CreativeLive. I just completed this course myself and got so much out of it. Ready my course review post to see how it can benefit you.
Think about your negative recurring thoughts. Do they stem from a self-limiting belief? What are some of the excuses you use for not trying something new or starting a project?
Do your excuses link back to a self-limiting belief that is lying dormant?
Unearth the belief and bring it out into the light. Start dealing with the issue, send it packing, and watch your life move forward.
If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends. Don’t forget to have a look at Mel’s course…
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