Today’s post is going to be of a slightly more personal nature, so please bear with me.
My Mum is having an operation on Friday to have a cancerous tumor removed. The tumor is on a kidney, so they are removing the whole thing.
Naturally, I am concerned. I am worried about my Mum.
Here is what I’ve learned about worrying over the years and what I am reminding myself of this week as Mum awaits surgery.
Worrying doesn’t help
Worrying would be okay if it actually helped.
If it could change the course of events to make things turn out the way we want, I would be all for it. I’d be saying bring it on.
But it doesn’t. It doesn’t do anything except make us more anxious and stressed.
Your level or amount of worry has no effect on the overall outcome.
Related post – How to Worry Less
Worry can hurt you
I am not a doctor. I can’t tell you the physical problems worry can cause or contribute to.
I just know when I worry too much I feel exhausted, drained and tired. Not to mention anxious and on edge.
My shoulder and neck muscles tense to the point where they bring on a severe headache.
None of these situations are helpful when you need to be at your best to support someone you love through a challenging time.
Worrying can turn into a bad habit (if you let it)
This is one of the things I learned when I used to worry a lot.
It seems the more you worry – the more you can.
The more you worry, the more likely you become prone to jump to the worst case scenario with whatever event is happening in your life.
Before long you find yourself worrying over small and insignificant issues, not just the major ones.
Don’t let worrying become a habit.
Related post – 10 Situations Where Awareness Can Help with Changing Habits
The outcome is out of your control
As much as I hate the idea, what happens on Friday inside the operating room is totally out of my control.
I have however done everything I can within my control.
I was with Mum when the doctor told her about the tumor. I asked a lot of questions regarding chemo and dialysis (thankfully she won’t need either). I asked how the surgery was being done. I asked detailed questions while the doctor was drawing on Mum with a pen illustrating how the removal would take place.
The point is I found out as much as possible about what was going to happen.
I took control of the only part of the surgery I could.
Related post – Are You in Control of Your Life?
Take care of the logistics
The logistics outside of the operating room is another situation we can control.
For example, Mum lives roughly 5 hours away from the city so we had to work out travel arrangements.
There were accommodation and transportation factors to consider for both Mum and her husband. Mum has a home and pets that need to be taken care of while she is away.
We have organized a family dinner for the night before the operation. This might not seem like much, but considering my family live a good distance from each other and we don’t get together often, this is actually a big deal.
I have a list of people to contact when the doctor tells me the operation was a success and that Mum is going to be just fine.
Take care of the practical stuff. It might not seem like much, considering everything else that’s going on but it can help to not be worrying about the small stuff at the same time.
Accepting what we can’t control and dealing with the practicalities of what we can control is important when faced with a worrying medical situation.
Please share this post with your friends on social media. You never know who might be worrying about something similar today!
Read next – 10 Behaviors That Stop You Growing as a Person
PS – Just a quick update to let you know that the surgery went really well and Mum is doing great. 🙂