Dark Side? Who me?
And no, I’m not talking about something out of Star Wars.
Whether we like to admit it, we all have a dark side. Even the sweetest, nicest person has the odd moment when they don’t feel so sweet and nice.
I’m talking about those moments when we feel jealous, envious, spiteful, bitter or mean (just to name a few). As you can imagine, there would be quite a long list if I kept going.
Ever pretended you were happy for someone but were secretly consumed with jealousy and anger at their success? Ever thought something nasty about someone you love for no apparent reason?
Here are some tips on how to know your own dark side (and still love yourself in the process).
Disclosure – This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links. Any compensation I may receive does not affect the price you pay.
Important note – I am not a medical practitioner so if you are struggling with depression, anxiety or suspect you may have a mental illness, please seek help from a professional.
Acknowledge you have a dark side
Pretending you don’t have negative feelings doesn’t do you any good.
Having a dark side doesn’t mean you are not a good person. With light comes dark.
Like everything else in life, it’s how you respond and act on your thoughts and feelings that is important.
Learn from your darkness
Your dark side gives you an amazing opportunity to learn more about yourself.
Whenever you find yourself inwardly cringing at your own thoughts or actions, there is a lesson to be learned.
I have to admit ever now and then I am shocked by my dark side. It can be well…dark.
Thankfully though this dark side happens very rarely and when it does I take the time to learn from it. As unpleasant as it is, I examine what is causing such a negative thought or feeling. Instead of running away or pretending it doesn’t exist, I dig into it and have a good look around.
Once you get to the core of the problem, you can start thinking more logically and rationally about your feelings.
Use those dark moments. Learn from them. By examining them and dealing with them as they arise, you will most likely find they come to visit much less often.
If your dark side is triggered by certain words by certain people this post can help – Know Your Trigger Words and How to Deal with Them
Grow as a person
By acknowledging your dark side and realizing there are parts of your personality that you might not particularly relish, you give yourself the opportunity to grow.
You give yourself the permission to be a better person.
If you don’t like a particular behavior, you can change it.
By monitoring yourself, you can address an issue when it raises its ugly head. Pay attention to your thoughts. Don’t let them rampage through your brain causing havoc, without any self-examination.
You are in control of your thoughts. You can choose not to be jealous, mean or spiteful.
Related posts –
- 10 Behaviors That Stop You Growing as a Person
- Are You Growing As a Person
- Pay Close Attention to Your Inner Dialogue
- 3 Ways to Dramatically Improve Your Positive Self-Talk
- How to Change Your Life – 5 Seconds at a Time
Understand your dark side can help you
Sometimes your dark side is talking to you for a valid reason.
It can stop you from being manipulated, mistreated or taken advantage of. It could be a warning sign.
Ditch any paranoia and trust your gut instinct instead.
Be aware of who you are hurting
Sometimes we think by hanging onto negative emotions we can hurt another person.
Take relationships that go bad. Some people hold grudges for a long time, thinking that by doing so; it will hurt the other person.
‘I’ll show them’ we think to ourselves while holding onto our bitterness and contempt.
In most cases, we couldn’t be more wrong.
While we are in our self-imposed prison cell holding our grudge, the other party is getting on with their life, none the wiser. Their life could be flourishing and blossoming, while we are stuck in the past holding onto our bitter memories.
It’s not too hard to figure out which one of us is getting hurt.
It can be difficult to do and it’s something you might have to work on but learn to let go and move on.
Don’t let it get out of control
The minute your dark side is completely running the show – you are in trouble.
If you have addictions of any type or serious harmful thoughts towards yourself or others, you should seek help immediately.
Know your own dark side
Embracing your dark side and realizing it is part of you, is another step towards self-acceptance.
In relationships, we want someone who loves us just the way we are. It is equally important to love yourself in the same capacity.
Love yourself just the way you are, dark side and all.
This is part of the know yourself series. Click below to read other posts in the series.
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