I have a confession to make. I can at times be prone to obsess over things.
Whether it’s the way someone has treated me or a mistake I’ve made, sometimes I get a negative thought in my head and like a pit bull, I struggle to let it go.
Important Note – I am not a medical professional or trained therapist, so if you have a severe problem with obsessing, depression, anxiety or suspect you may be struggling with a mental illness, please seek help from a medical professional.
If like me, your obsessing is on the lighter side of the scale, I do have a few tips that can help you stop obsessing.
Disclosure – This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links. Any compensation I receive does not affect the price you pay.
Be aware then break the loop
I’m sure we’ve all had those times when a negative, annoying or just plain stupid thought keeps going around and around in our brain.
It’s a bit like when you get a song stuck in your head and you can’t stop humming it, though of course, negative thoughts can be a lot more damaging than a bad 80’s tune!
When you get stuck in a negative pattern, it is important that you take control of your thoughts and don’t let them spiral out of control.
Remember, you are in control.
Usually what works for me is realizing I am obsessing and literally telling myself to stop, then finding something (not another obsession) to think about instead. I find that by being aware of my behavior and making a conscious effort to alter it, I can usually stop it quickly.
Taking a couple of big deep breaths to calm ourselves certainly helps as well.
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Focus on what is important
As I mentioned, distracting yourself by thinking about something else can help.
For a better, more permanent solution focus on what is important. Distracting yourself with something trivial may only be a quick fix before you flick back into obsessing.
Focusing on something important can change your state of mind completely.
Since I am laser-focused on my blog at the moment, if I find myself obsessing about something trivial in my personal life, I get my thoughts back on what’s important to me.
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Tomorrow’s problem
Finally, I have discovered a way to make procrastination work for me!
One technique I use when I am worrying or obsessing is to think to myself – that is tomorrow’s problem. I will worry about that tomorrow.
The great part about this plan of attack is that most of the time, it isn’t a problem the next day. The problem hasn’t materialized or I no longer see it as a problem since I stopped obsessing about it.
If you haven’t already noticed, this obsessing gig can be a bit of a vicious circle. The sooner you stop the cycle, the better.
Occasionally there might still be an issue I have to deal with, which I take on board and work through.
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Don’t always think the worst
I mentioned this in an earlier post, Do we make life more complicated?
I find this is worth mentioning here because, despite our best intentions, we tend to get bogged down in this worst-case scenario thinking.
When you are in obsession mode, the worst-case scenario is an easy leap. Suddenly you find yourself in a panic about something that hasn’t happened yet.
Worrying about things that have not happened can be one of the most common forms of worry. It can also suck away at your energy, motivation, and enthusiasm if you let it.
If you have to project ahead, think of the most likely scenario and how you will deal with that (should it happen), instead of the worst-case one.
If you crave less stress in your life, CreativeLive has an excellent online course Stress is Optional that could be just what you are looking for. Read through the curriculum of the course, to see if it suits your needs.
Face the person
I am the first to admit this won’t work for everyone.
If I am obsessing about an incident that occurred with another person, I find the best way to overcome my negative thoughts is by spending quality time with the person.
I am not talking about a confrontation here. If you are really angry with someone, I’m not suggesting you spend time with them (what you probably need is time away from them to cool off).
When I spend time with someone I’ve been obsessing about, a strange thing often happens.
The issue goes away by itself, usually because I realize it was a trivial problem, to begin with, or I blew a particular incident out of proportion. Sometimes I realize there was a valid issue where someone wronged me but simply make the decision that it’s not worth losing sleep over or damaging my relationship with the person.
Often we need to decide to not let something bother us so we can stop obsessing over it.
I hope these tips can help you stop obsessing. Less obsessing means a calmer, happier, and more peaceful life.
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Hello Thea.
I am Lenia and I like your post. To answer to your question: I do obsess.
I have recently changed my life philosophy, I quit my high-salary job and I start working on an online business and a blog I created.
For all these reasons, I worry very often about the future and I as you notice, I think of the worst.
I try to apply one of the above tips: “Focus on what is important” and say to myself that there are many people in the world who has much more important problems than mine.
Another tip I apply very often: When I consider the obsession I try to do something (an activity, a task, call somebody) to calm down and break the loop!
Thank you for your tips.
Hi Lenia
Lovely to see you here, I am so glad you enjoyed the post. Good on you for taking such a brave step to change your life for the better!! That is really great and I applaud you for having the courage. Don’t underestimate yourself, it does take a LOT of courage to do what you have done.
I do like your tip about the loop. Getting stuck in ‘the loop’ would have to be one of my worst obsessing habits. Being aware of that and breaking the loop is so important. Then it’s so much easier to get focused again.
Thanks again for the comment and I look forward to seeing you here again soon. I will make sure I pop over and check out your blog as well 🙂
Cheers
Thea
I ‘m not one to obsess over things anymore but people around me do and I wonder why? Life is too short and we always worry about things that never happen. I say don’t worry until you have to.
Hi Lisa
Thank you for commenting. Great to see you here.
You are right life is definitely too short. I like your motto don’t worry until you have to. So true!
Thanks again for stopping by. I look forward to seeing you here again.
Cheers
Thea
I do have a tendency to obsess and “catastrophizing”. It has taken me quite a while and the help of a therapist to work through it. The kitchen sink was linking and I went from zero to disaster in no time flat. I envisioned 1000’s of dollars of damage and got myself so anxious. Sounds silly to most people but it was real panic. But I was able to stop, and “break the loop”, look at the situation calmly and I called a friend who replaced the faucet and just in time too one of the connector hoses fell apart when he disconnected it. I was a few days from a REAL disaster! The worry and obsessing does indeed suck the life right out of you!