How to Break Out of a Victim Mentality – Part 1

Recently I was talking to a girlfriend about a difficult time she was going through.

It reminded me that sometimes it can be hard to stay positive and focused when things go pear-shaped, particularly when we have to deal with one problem after another (or most likely a whole bunch of problems at the same time).

It can be easy to grow despondent.

When everything seems to be turned upside down, it can be easy to slip into a victim mentality.

I know this from experience; since I’ve been in this position myself.

Just to be clear, when I use the word victim in this post, I’m not talking about victims of physical violence or anyone who is suffering a serious or life-threatening illness. These are both major problems where people should seek out help from a qualified medical professional.

In this article, I’m talking about life getting us down in general. I’m talking about overcoming and working through the tough times when they occur.

I’ve broken this topic into a three-part series, so make sure you check out the other posts.

Disclosure – This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links. Any compensation I receive does not affect the price you pay.

Here are some tips that might come in handy (depending on your specific problem naturally) for seeing a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel and breaking out of a victim mentality.

Accept that it is going to be hard

As much as we want problems to be easy to fix, some just aren’t. If you have a big issue then accept it may take some time and work to fix (or overcome if the problem is not a fixable one).

Unfortunately, that work may be hard, even heart-wrenching. Pretending nothing is wrong or going into denial, won’t do you much good.

I can personally relate to taking the denial option. Lately, I’ve had my head in the sand over a particular health issue.  Thankfully, I am now taking action to fix the problem.

Accept you may have a bumpy road ahead but have faith in an eventual positive outcome.

Related content for dealing with adversity – 

• How to Break Out of a Victim Mentality – Part 2
• How to Break Out of a Victim Mentality – Part 3
• How to Maintain Your Self-Confidence During Times of Adversity – Part 1
• How to Maintain Your Self-Confidence During Times of Adversity – Part 2

Have a Plan A, B, and C

When trouble strikes, you need a plan of attack. 

You need to find a way to fix your problem or at least take action to alleviate the feeling of being trapped or out of control.

While a plan of attack is important, so is having a time frame for your plan. Stick to your initial time frame, particularly if people are trying to derail you for their own gain.

If your first plan doesn’t work, have a backup one (hence the A, B, and C).

If you really want to get serious about having a plan of attack, then you need to have a look at your goals. Do you have goals? Do you know exactly what you want and why you want it? The Slay Your Goals Planner can help you with the why, what, when and how of achieving your goals. You can read my review on this product here. You can also download the free Slay Your Goals Guide to get a feel for the planner.

Re-frame the problem

Sometimes we can just be too close to a situation. We can’t see a way out or the problem seems much bigger than it really is.

Take some time to think clearly and logically through the problem (enlist someone you trust who can be objective if you like).

Look at different ways of viewing the situation.

Perhaps if you look at your problem from a different perspective, you will realize it is not as overwhelming as you originally imagined.

Believe you can do it

If you are feeling down and saying to yourself, “I can’t do it,’ over and over, then there is a big possibility you will be right.

This negative, defeated frame of mind won’t help you carry out the task at hand.

You need to firmly believe you can fix your problem or at least see the light at the end of the tunnel and move through your problem.

Remember, you are strong enough. 

We are always stronger than we realize. It just doesn’t always feel that way in the middle of a crisis.

If you are struggling with self-doubt, I highly recommend the online course, How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt and Build Real Confidence course by CreativeLive. This course is run by the amazing Mel Robbins. The self-doubt you are struggling with can be turned around and Mel teaches you how. I took this course myself at the beginning of the year and it was a game-changer. Read my review to see how the course can benefit you. One of the many great things about online courses is that you can take them in the comfort of your own home and work at your own pace. Excellent!

Related post –How to Believe in Yourself When People Don’t Support You

Don’t dig a deeper hole

All too often when we are overwhelmed by a victim mentality, we make bad choices.

Choices that will dig us deeper into a hole of despair. When faced with a decision, try to think as clearly as possible.

Watch your vices. Don’t let them get the upper hand. If you give into your vices, your life could soon feel like it is spiraling out of control.

Related post – Are You Creating Drama in Your Life?

Have a happy place

Everyone needs a sanctuary. Whether it is a place or a person that supports you and cheers you up, everyone needs something that makes them feel relaxed, happy, and safe.

Make sure you have a happy place. Make sure you have an escape valve for your stress and anxiety.

Somewhere among our problems, we need to still have fun and be happy.

Just a gentle reminder that if you are struggling with depression or anxiety, seek help from a trained medical professional. Never be ashamed to ask for help if you need it.

Don’t get so bogged down in the doom and gloom, that you miss out on the joy happening around you and in your life!

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Read Next – How to Break Out of a Victim Mentality Part 2.