Wanted: Strong Single Writer

Years ago I read the book “Wannabe a Writer?” by Jane Wenham-Jones.

Jane is primarily a fiction writer, though she also writes non-fiction. I loved the book and would definitely recommend it.

In the money section of the book, Jane mentions how during one particular interview she was asked for her hottest writing tip.

Her response: “Marry someone rich!” 

I remember having a laugh to myself as I was reading.

Yet years later, that comment has stuck with me.

Here I am working towards a full-time blogging career and I don’t even have a partner, let alone one with money.

I don’t even have a flatmate to help out with paying their half of the bills.

It’s all on me.

Making money blogging can be a hard slog and take time (despite all the high-income reports on Pinterest that make it seem like the easiest thing in the world).

The great news is many women starting and growing their own businesses whether single or married are doing incredibly well.  Financially many are doing very well indeed.

Looking at my own situation and experiences, I’ve come up with a list of being single survival strategies.

Drop the Prince Charming Rescue Fantasy

I grew up watching romantic comedies. Movies where the man comes along and saves the day for the (often needy) woman.

I realize now, we were all duped. 

Frankly, in my opinion, you need to get off your butt and save yourself. Particularly when it comes to your finances and most definitely when it comes to achieving your goals and dreams.

Have your own money

Many years ago I went to London to live with my partner. The problem was, I was not eligible for a working visa.

For the first time in my adult life, I had to rely on someone else to give me money.

I hated it. 

It made me completely miserable. I was so used to providing for myself, the thought of not being able to add value to the household was depressing.

While this experience may have had its unpleasant side, it certainly taught me a valuable lesson.

Make sure you have enough money to support yourself. Have your own savings. Have a financial plan B if you encounter obstacles or trouble.

Forget about keeping up with the Joneses

I don’t live by the keeping up with the Joneses concept, though I realize a lot of people still do.

Don’t compare your lifestyle to other people (particularly couples with two healthy income sources).

Instead, focus on a lifestyle that makes you happy.

Keep your debt under control

Keeping your debts under control allows you an element of freedom. 

Getting bogged down in debt will see you frustrated, locked into situations you hate and quite possibly losing sleep at night or avoiding the phone every time it rings.

Take care of yourself physically

Do you remember the scene in ‘Sex and the City’ where Samantha comes down with the flu and falls into a crying mess because she is alone and has no one to take care of her?

Watching that scene I am sure many single people can relate.

I know I can.

When you are single and run a business, not only do you have to worry about how you are going to get to the chemist without passing out, on top of that you have to worry about your business. A raging fever certainly won’t help with you thinking clearly either.

The plan, of course, is to have a backup where possible in event of an illness. If you have flatmates, friends or family that can help, being sick is the time to graciously accept their generous offers of assistance.

Make sure you reach out for help when you need it

At times, particularly when I was younger, I have been independently stubborn about reaching out for help.

I don’t do that anymore.

You help your friends and they, in turn, help you back. That is the wonderful way it works.

Ask for help when you need it.

Call in the experts when required

While getting advise from a friend on some basic home repairs is one thing, it may be quite another story to have your business taxes done by someone who is not a skilled accountant.

Ditto with problems around the home that require an expert.

Call in the experts when you need expert help.

Enjoy your own company

This is important whether you are single or happily married. 

Enjoying your own company is a cornerstone of liking yourself.  Liking yourself, feeling confident, having high self-esteem – all result in a happier life.

If you work from home, you’ll most likely be spending a good chunk of time on your own, so enjoying your own company is important.

Be prepared to do the work

If you are starting a new business venture, starting down a new career path or even taking the next step up in your current company – married, single or somewhere in between, accept that it takes hard work.

If a partner does come along – keep writing!

If I was being honest, I am quite happy about being single at the moment. 

I am 100% focused on making my blogging career a success. I like being totally focused on my own future.

That has not always been the case. Dating can be a distraction from our own lives. Having a man in your life (particularly if he is not the right fit for you) can see you wrapped up in another person’s future and aspirations, instead of your own.

If you do meet someone and have a relationship, be clear upfront about what is important to you. Make sure he is supportive.

Then naturally – keep blogging and writing!

Be your own best friend

I am blessed. I have some great best friends, 3 in fact.

One is married and has been my dear friend for 40 years. One lives interstate is a mum and in November we will celebrate our 28th anniversary of being friends. My other close friend, whom I have also known for many years, is single like myself and lives nearby.

I would be truly lost without each of these girls in my life.

Between them, they have seen me through the best and worst times of my life. The same applies in return.

Deaths in the family, divorce, babies and more broken hearts than I would care to count. My life has been filled with pure love, laughter, and joy because of these girls.

Recently, however, I’ve realized you also need to have one other best friend – yourself.

Regardless of whatever your relationship status is, I wish you great success in your business endeavors. 

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