Dark Side? Who me?

Yes you.

And no, I am not talking about something out of Star Wars.

Whether we like to admit it, we all have one. Even the sweetest, nicest person has the odd moment when they don’t feel so sweet and nice.

I’m talking about those moments when we feel jealous, envious, spiteful, bitter or mean (just to name a few). As you can imagine, there would be quite a long list if I kept going.

Ever pretended you were happy for someone but were secretly consumed with jealousy and anger at their success?  Ever thought something nasty about someone you love for no apparent reason?

Here are some tips on how to know your own dark side (and still love yourself in the process).

Acknowledge you have a dark side

Pretending you don’t have negative feelings doesn’t do you any good.  Having a dark side doesn’t mean you are not a decent person.  With light comes dark.

Like everything else in life, it is how you respond and act on those feelings that is important.

Learn from your darkness

Your dark side gives you an amazing opportunity to learn more about yourself. Whenever you find yourself inwardly cringing at your own thoughts or actions, there is a lesson to be learned.

I have to admit ever now and then I am shocked by my dark side. It can be well…dark.

Thankfully though this dark side happens very rarely and when it does I take the time to learn from it. As unpleasant as it is, I examine what is causing such a negative thought or feeling. Instead of running away or pretending it doesn’t exist, I dig into it and have a good look around.

Once you get to the core of the problem, you can start thinking more logically and rationally about your feelings.

Use those dark moments.  Learn from them.  By examining them and dealing with them as they arise, you will most likely find they come to visit much less often.

Grow as a person

By acknowledging your dark side and realising there are parts of your personality that you might not particularly relish, you give yourself the opportunity to grow. You give yourself the permission to be a better person.

If you don’t like a particular behaviour, you can change it.

By monitoring yourself, you can address an issue when it raises its ugly head.  Pay attention to your thoughts.  Don’t let them rampage through your brain causing havoc, without any self-examination.

You are in control of your thoughts.  You can choose not to be jealous, mean or spiteful.

Understand your dark side can help you

Sometimes your dark side is talking to you for a valid reason.  It can stop you from being manipulated, mistreated or taken advantage of.

It could be a warning sign.  Ditch any paranoia and trust your gut instinct instead.

Be aware of who you are hurting

Sometimes we think by hanging onto negative emotions we can hurt another person. Take relationships that go bad.  Some people hold grudges for a long time, thinking that by doing so; it will hurt the other person.

‘I’ll show them’ we think to ourselves while holding onto our bitterness and contempt.

In most cases, we couldn’t be more wrong. While we are in our self-imposed prison cell holding our grudge, the other party is getting on with their life, none the wiser. Their life could be flourishing and blossoming, while we are stuck in the past holding onto our bitter memories.

It is not too hard to figure out which one of us is getting hurt. Learn to let go and move on.

Don’t let it get out of control

The minute your dark side is completely running the show, you are in trouble.

If you have addictions of any type or serious harmful thoughts towards others, you should seek help immediately.

Embracing your dark side and realising it is part of you, is another step towards self acceptance.  In relationships, we want someone who loves us just the way we are.  It is equally important to love yourself in the same capacity.

Love yourself just the way you are, dark side and all.

This is part of the Know Your Own series. Click below to read earlier posts.

Know Your Own Worth

Know Your Own Weaknesses

Know Your Own Strength

Know Your Own Values

Know Your Own Pressure Points

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I made a fantastic discovery last week!

As many of you know from an earlier post, I love books.

As a blogger, I am no stranger to eBooks. I have bought and downloaded many fantastic ebooks written by other bloggers.

Naturally I had heard about Kindle but considering I didn’t own one, I had ruled that out as an option.

That was until I discovered Kindle for PC.

Several weeks ago I went onto Amazon looking for books. Business books to be specific. I carefully picked out the books I wanted to purchase and added them to my cart.  Books in the US are considerably cheaper than what we can buy in Australia. Obviously, there are also a lot more options available online.

After choosing six books,  it was time to head to the checkout to calculate my total costs.  This was when I spotted the delivery fee. Since I live in Australia, the postage and delivery were worth the cost of three of the books combined. Suddenly my well priced books were not looking quite as reasonable. Considering my budgetary restraints at the time, I decided to give it some more thought.

Last week, I received a link from a blogger friend that contained the link to download the Kindle for PC app.

I had no idea how Kindle worked but decided to give it a try.

I have to say I am in love.

For someone who has always enjoyed the feel of a book in their hands, this is quite a revelation. Clearly all of the eBooks I have read since I started blogging have helped me transition to electronic options.

Purchasing a Kindle version of a paper back book is incredibly easy.  The app downloads the book straight into your Kindle library and emails you a receipt.

It is so easy, I had to restrain myself from going a little bit crazy over the weekend.  I bought two books – at least for now. I definitely see more purchases in the not too distant future.

Another delightful advantage is that the Kindle version of a book can be slightly cheaper than the paper back one. Not to mention you receive the book straight away – no waiting for delivery.

As for that original list of six books I added to my cart, I checked yesterday and not all of them are currently available on Kindle. As a writer, this was an interesting lesson.  When I write my first book or eBook, I will make sure a Kindle format is available.

I look forward to sharing with you the fantastic books I discover via my new Kindle for PC app. Click on the link, so you can start reading amazing books on your laptop or PC.

Head over to my Write Change Grow bookstore to start shopping.

If you would rather have the real deal, you can buy your own Kindle. Click the photo below to take you to the various options available.

Happy reading!

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After reading the headline you are probably thinking one of two things.

Bob (substitute name of family member here) is the black sheep of the family.

Or crap, that would be me.

I fall into the second category.

Here is a list of attributes that give me this distinction.

• I am not married (enough by itself to make you different in some families)
• Don’t have children and don’t want any
• Don’t own a car
• Working from home on my own business (which means I don’t have a ‘job’)
• I am a vegetarian (this one is fairly recent and causing quite a stir).

These are the highlights, though I could have written quite a long list.  I realise this is hardly a radical lifestyle.  My family however are quite conservative.

In an earlier post, I discussed why it’s okay to be different.

Here are my tips on coping if you are the odd one out in your family.

Don’t explain your choices

I have fallen into this trap recently. You find yourself constantly having to explain or justify your lifestyle or choices, even the most basic ones.

To be completely honest, it’s exhausting.

Unless you are hurting members of your family, you shouldn’t have to constantly explain yourself.

Break the explaining habit.

Don’t try to change anyone

As it turns out this acceptance stuff is a two-way street.

While you don’t need to explain your choices, neither should you be condemning everyone else for theirs. Appreciate that other people also have the right to go about their lives as they see fit.

As much as I have embraced being a vegetarian, I am not trying to shove tofu down anyone else’s throat. My family is free to eat whatever they want, just as I should be.

Understand they may be trying to help

A lot of the time family members are just trying to help, they might not necessarily be going about it the right way.  Whilst they see it as helping and offering advice; on your side of the fence it feels like criticism.

In this situation, it is important to recognise when family are trying to help you.  If you need their help by all means take it and thank them.  Appreciate the fact that they offered their time and energy to assist you.  Express your gratitude.

If you don’t need their help, politely thank them for offering, decline and move on.

Don’t tolerate being treated badly

If people start to criticise or make snide comments in your direction, politely nip it in the bud.

Doesn’t that sound easy when you say it like that?  In reality standing up for yourself can be difficult in certain family situations. Being outnumbered doesn’t make it any easier.

The trick of course is using an assertive manner and not a passive aggressive one.  I went the passive aggressive approach recently and I would not recommend it.

Timing is also a key component.  Do you say something in the thick of a discussion or later when everything has calmed down? Both have their merit and both can cause issues if not used wisely or handled correctly.

I have found the most useful tool is consistency.  Every time someone says something that puts you down or criticises you, politely tell them their behaviour is not acceptable.  Obviously you briefly mention what that behaviour is.  Make sure you don’t ramble, be brief and to the point. No name calling or being nasty.

You need to do this each and every time they try to put you down.  Eventually they will stop or decrease this sort of inappropriate behaviour.

Have a support network (outside of your family)

If you are the black sheep of the family and struggle to fit in, you need to make sure you have a wonderful group of people where you do fit in.

I would be lost without my girlfriends who ‘get me’. As much as family loves us (and we love them), they can sometimes be more on the ‘change’ or ‘fix’ bandwagon, than the ‘live and let live’ one.

Make sure you have a strong group of friends who love you just the way you are.

Love yourself just the way you are

Your biggest supporter should be you.

It can be difficult to hold your ground and stick to what you believe in when you are bombarded by criticism and ridicule from people you love. From strangers criticism can be easily disregarded.  From family members it can really hurt.

Constant criticism can have you doubting yourself if you are not careful. Don’t let this happen. It can be very harmful to your self esteem and confidence.

Take a deep breath; remember who you are and what you believe in.

Remember no one is better than anyone else

People with different lifestyles often want to convert you around to their way of thinking. For whatever reason, they think their way of life is better.

A classic example of this is being married with kids.  A lot of married people can’t imagine how you could possibly be happy single and without children, so they try to bring you around to their way of thinking, often by trying to discredit your way of life.

Sometimes we need to be crystal clear with people about what it is we want and what makes us happy.  Let people know that you are happy with your life.

Embrace being different

I like who I am.  Whilst my family might feel more comfortable if my lifestyle was more aligned to theirs, it wouldn’t make me happy.  I would be unhappy living their lifestyle, just as they would be unhappy living mine.

Celebrate what makes you different.  Your differences make you open to amazing opportunities.  Look upon being the black sheep as an advantage not a disability.

You are a unique individual.  We all are.

If you enjoyed this post, please forward it onto your friends.  I welcome your feedback in the comments section below.

This guest post is by Farnoosh Brock of Prolific Living.

There was a day that I balked at people who majored in anything less “sophisticated” or challenging than an engineering program in college.

There was a day I considered marketing and sales to belong only to “that organization” in a company and to a certain type of personality.

There was a day that I believed those who worked for themselves were not only serious risk-takers but they were also probably very lonely because they did not belong to a large entity, a corporation, an organization and associate with others all day long.

There was a day that I thought I was meant to climb that corporate ladder to the top and take my seat as an executive vice president and become the greatest leader of my ex-employer, a large Fortune 100 technology company in the Silicon Valley area.

Then there was that faithful day that I suddenly realized what silly nonsense I had been telling myself all along. Or perhaps, what crazy notions others had been shoving my way, all of which I had chosen to naively believe.

It really does not matter which because in the end, you will have lived your life following a certain path in a limiting belief system. Those who told you this was the right path most likely will not be around to answer your burning questions when serious doubt sets in.

And if it was of your own doing, well then, you will have some rough patches of bitterness and forgiveness to work through before you come to terms with reality. Only then can you fiercely embrace the present moment with all your might and get to work on course-correction with vengeance of a giant that has come alive after years of hibernation.

There is no time to waste. There is no more play, no more fooling around, no more asking others what they think or projecting what the economy will do. There is no more waiting until the stock price goes up or that promotion comes through or the project becomes more tolerable at your existing job. There is no more patience left to save up just a little more money or wait until your family “comes around”. There is no more wishful thinking that you will act when all your stars align perfectly in a moonlit sky.

Because let me tell you that when you feel this urge to start on your path, the one you have been putting off for God knows how long, there is no tomorrow. There is only today and only now and you have got to take action and seize that short window of opportunity before it closes.

Now I realize that the way I used to see the world through my tiny lens back in college and the early years of my career in Corporate America was beyond limited. I realize now that marketing and sales can be one of the most essential skills you can learn in your life, whether you own a business or work for someone else. And I have come to have tremendous respect and gratitude for those who go out there to work for themselves and put their gifts and passions into building something worthwhile.

And it takes a lot to admit to yourself that you have been wrong about so many things. Maybe it’s all part of life and maybe even in our adult years, we have some growing pains. Who knows!

I only know this: when you do make these realizations, whatever stage you may be in your life or career, accept them and forgive yourself for having been so inaccurate in your earlier judgments. Now you know better and that should count for something and now you can make a difference with the newfound knowledge.

What do you do then, when you realize that you can actually build your dream into a business and that even you, the least likely person to strike out on your own and boldly go after the calling of your heart, even you my dear have a chance in this world if only you believe it, if only you keep telling yourself that it is worth pursuing and you are going to find a way to make it work without giving up.

Inspiration and motivation go a long way to pursuing our dreams and they are the heart of the matter. But what do you do after you have stopped dancing around about your new decision to go after your lofty ambitions?

You need a plan. You need a strategy. You need expert advice and preferably, you need to avoid mistakes so you don’t waste even more time when you are following your own path at long last. You need to be practical and sensible, while staying passionate and true to yourself.

When I left the corporate world, I was ready to build my business. But I didn’t get ready to do it after my resignation. I started getting ready about 2 years in advance, with a serious planning process 9-6 months prior to leaving. Maybe that was conservative and your mileage will vary but putting together that exit strategy was one of the smartest things I did. It enabled me to pursue blogging, writing, and digital entrepreneurship full-time and in less than a year, it is a thriving itty biz with heaps of potential.

And I’d love to be able to help you do the same.

Learn how to put together your smart exit strategy and then actually put it together, and make it ready for execution during an upcoming course that I designed precisely for this. Build the bridge between where you are now and where you long to end up with your fabulous career and business with a smart plan, with forethought and with expert advice and accountability.

After all, your dreams matter too much for anything less.

About the Author: Farnoosh Brock left her corporate career to write, to speak, and to pursue the world of entrepreneurship. She writes about living on your own terms, crushing your fears, and cultivating smart habits at Prolific Living. She invites you to get on the free newsletter about the upcoming course, Smart Exit Blueprint, and make your transition out of an unhappy job a smart and easy one.

It’s Friday here in Brisbane, so I thought I would write a fun post about one of my favourite topics – Travel.

Recently I wrote a post for SheNOW highlighting my top ten tips for solo women travellers. Travelling by yourself can feel daunting at first but it can also be an amazing, enjoyable, liberating experience.

I personally think that everyone should travel alone, at least at some point.

Here are my 8 reasons why.

Freedom, freedom and more freedom

You can go wherever you want (travel visas permitting). You can rock up to a major railway station in Europe and choose between two trains heading to completely different countries.

You can spend all day wandering through a museum or lying on a beach.  Whatever takes your fancy?

You are not locked into a rigid itinerary having to up and move every day.  If you like a particular place, you can stay for a week or as long as your holiday allows.

For someone who values and appreciates a sense of freedom, this is a wonderful feeling.

You meet amazing people

I understand the reason a lot of people don’t travel alone is because they worry about being lonely.  They worry about not having anyone to talk to.  For starters being alone and lonely are two completely separate issues (but I think I will leave that juicy topic for another blog post).

The truth is travelling by yourself means you can meet people if you want to.

Let’s face it.  When you travel with friends, you tend to stay in the company of your group.  Travelling as a couple or group can actually make you quite antisocial.  You don’t need to reach out to people for companionship, so you don’t make the effort. In turn, other people may find approaching a group intimidating.

Admittedly solo travel might be a little harder for extroverts, but with your outgoing personality it won’t take long before you are the life of the party.

No peer pressure

Travelling with a group of friends can sometimes mean you end up doing what everyone else wants to do on your holiday. This can lead to feelings of frustration and resentment when you get home.

Travelling by yourself means not having to agree, disagree or argue with other people.  It means not being outvoted or frowned on by the group.

It’s all about you

Solo travel is the perfect time to discover exactly what sorts of food, hobbies and activities you like. Not what your partner or your family (who may rule the roost or have a strong influence over you at home) likes but YOU.

Solo travel is all about discovery, adventure and trying new experiences.

You are in control of your money

There is no one being stingy when you want to treat yourself or someone else spending a fortune on a round of drinks that you suddenly need to put in for.  No expensive day trips that other people talk or guilt you into.

You can spend your hard earned money on exactly what you want.

No annoying travel companions

I’ve done group tours as well as travelling on my own.  All of the tours I have done have been a total blast.  I had a fantastic time.  I’m sure at some point I will do another tour (most likely when I head off to Africa or South America).

My first big trip overseas was a TrekAmerica tour.  Come to think of it, it was two TrekAmerica tours back to back, followed by a Contiki tour.  With the second TrekAmerica tour, by the time I came long, the group were already a month into the trip and some of them were not getting along. No one wants their holiday to be filled with fighting and backstabbing.  The girl that I befriended was even considering going home early. The horror!

Needless to say my presence calmed everyone down. Okay, I made that part up. What happened was I settled into a small sub-group and we all enjoyed a great time together over the next month.

I am sure there are the occasional group tours that don’t end well.  I’m equally sure a few good friendships have come to a screeching halt after travelling together.

It gives you time to do some soul searching

Solo travel is the perfect time to do some soul searching.

Travelling by yourself can give you the space and time to have a close look at your life.  It can be a personal journey of reflection as well as a relaxing way to take a break from the everyday demands of life.

Increased self confidence

When I tell people I travel alone they sometimes say – I could never do that.

I think those people would be greatly surprised at just what they are capable of.  I probably thought the same thing at some point myself.

Most likely what these people mean is – I don’t want to do that – which is fine. Travelling alone is not for everyone and I respect that.  My point is you never know until you give it a try.

Making decisions and sorting out problems when they arise all help build your self esteem.  There is a unique confidence that comes with being the facilitator of your own happiness and joy.

Independence on the road, translates to having more confidence and independence when you get back home.

Have you travelled much on your own?  Do you think you could benefit from a solo trip?

Please leave your comments in the section below.  I look forward to hearing about your travel adventures. If you enjoyed this post, please forward it onto your friends.

If you read my newsletter or follow my Facebook page, you already know I am a huge fan of TED talks.

With this in mind, I wanted to put together a post of my five favourite videos.

Here they are (in no particular order).

Elizabeth Gilbert on nurturing creativity

Brene Brown on the power of vulnerability

Amy Purdy on living beyond limits

Jessica Jackley on poverty, money and love

Chimamanda Adichie on the danger of a single story

After putting this post together, I couldn’t help but notice all of my favourite talks are by female speakers. I promise next time to give the men a voice as well.

Now it’s your turn, what are your favourite TED Talks?  Please leave your feedback and thoughts in the comment section below.

If you enjoyed this post, please forward it onto your friends.

Ever wonder what happens to your pitch, application, resume (substitute whatever word applies) after you hit send?

Anyone that works on the Internet or uses email for that matter knows what it’s like to send something and feel like it’s been lost in cyberspace.

You send out your precious information.

Then nada, nothing, zip.

A while back I completed a course on pitching to magazines. There were two key actions involved; a phone call and an email. You either rang them with your idea and then emailed the pitch if they agreed or you emailed the pitch and then rang them to follow up.

This process seems easy enough doesn’t it?

Unfortunately many of us (including me) can occasionally skip one of these important steps.

The all important follow up.

If you could benefit from a more consistent follow up strategy, these ten points can help.

Schedule time to follow up

Often the biggest problems with following up is that we get busy working on other projects and simply forget. With this in mind you need to schedule a date and time for each follow up. Set a reminder in your calendar, phone or whatever planning tool you use to make sure you don’t forget.

Follow up in a timely manner

You schedule your follow ups so that you don’t forget or so that you won’t remember eight weeks after you sent the original request. Often we do remember but too much time has come and gone, so we don’t bother. As part of your scheduling process make sure the follow up date is relevant to each situation.

Do It

This is the part where you actually ring that newspaper, magazine, company or individual and ask them if they are interested in your proposal or offer.

This is a part many people simply don’t do. By not following up you are doing yourself an injustice.

Give them time to respond

You’ve sent off your application. Excellent!  Then you send an email the next day asking how you went. Wrong!

While some positions, particularly writing positions, do have a quick turnaround time, they are normally not that quick.

If you are working in different time zones, you need to factor in the difference in time and days.

If you are in Australia obsessively checking your emails Monday morning regarding a request you sent off to someone in the United States you need to realise their weekend isn’t over yet. They could be enjoying time with family, while you are stressing over why you haven’t had a response yet.

Jump the queue

Recently I have been applying for part time admin roles (as well as writing jobs naturally).

The response times on the admin positions are quite long. Between sending off my application and receiving an email advising they had filled the position can take well over a month.  Time I don’t care to wait.

One way around waiting is to allow an appropriate amount of time after the position was posted and then ring up and ask if they have completed all of the interviews. If the interviews are completed and you didn’t get a call, you know you are not in the running.  When that email arrives weeks later advising you weren’t successful, it won’t be a surprise.

Don’t hound people

Some people go nuts with the follow up. They turn into a cyber stalker, shooting off emails with reckless abandon.

Most likely the only thing this will achieve is ticking off the person or company you are hoping to work with.

Don’t do it. It will get you noticed for all of the wrong reasons, ruining any opportunity you may have had.

Don’t assume no response means NO

All too often we don’t hear back and assume no reply definitely means no. This is not always the case.

Make the follow up phone call. If a phone call isn’t possible, try email again.

You would be surprised how many emails get overlooked, so don’t assume your email has been read and rejected. They may not have even gotten around to reading it yet.

Move onto the next task

Under no circumstances do you sit around putting off other projects waiting for a reply. Move straight onto your next task.

It’s hard, I know because I have done this myself, but resist the urge to give yourself RSI checking your inbox 50 times a day. Set yourself a designated time to check email each day and then leave it at that.

Don’t turn into an OCD email checker. Let’s face it; you have plenty of other things to do.

With that in mind, the opposite could also be true. Perhaps you hardly ever check your emails. If you have an email address, make sure you check it regularly.  The regularity will be based on the reason the email account was set up.  A Yahoo account set up for personal or travel purposes doesn’t need to be checked as often. A business email address is a whole different matter.

You don’t want to be missing important emails. The same goes for the inbox on your phone.  If you are applying for any sort of position or opportunity and you supplied your mobile number make sure you check your phone for messages.

Accept there may be no response

In some situations you have to accept that only successful proposals get a reply.  If you were not successful, you will NEVER get a response.

When submitting writing work to websites, you may get an automated message stating that if you don’t hear from them your application was unsuccessful. With high volumes of email traffic they need to set up this auto-respond messages. A good thing about these auto-responders, you know they received your email in the first place.

Sometimes there simply won’t be an answer.  It can be frustrating but also part of doing business on the Internet.

Find out Why

As I mentioned, I have been applying for part time admin roles.  When I haven’t been asked to interview, my friends suggested I call to find out why.  In my situation, I knew when I applied I wasn’t an exact fit (I was close but I didn’t have everything they were after). I didn’t ask why because I didn’t need to.  I understood they had found their exact fit.

However if you do want some feedback or you were an exact fit, it might pay to give the person a call or send them an email. Be polite, brief and understand you might not get a reply. I wouldn’t do this in all cases to be honest.  Use your discretion on this one.

I hope this spurs you on to take action and make those important follow up calls and emails.

Are you a whiz at following up?  Do you have any tips you would care to add? Please leave your comments below.

If you enjoyed this post, please forward it to your friends.

There is a lot of talk in the writing world about writer’s block. It seems to affect all writers at some point in time.

Yet this whole writer’s block conundrum has got me thinking about another sort of block that might be holding you back or at least slowing you down.

Have you ever suffered from ‘I have a lot of ideas and I don’t know which one to choose’ block.

It’s a different beast to writer’s block. You aren’t sitting in front of your laptop agonising over starting your blog post and trying to figure out what to write.

Instead your mind is bubbling over with ideas and the words are flowing out. The problem is you can’t decide which idea to run with.

What happens if we invest all of our time, energy (and perhaps money) in the wrong idea? Sometimes it’s not about the writing itself, it’s about what idea to pick in the first place.

Here are some of my thoughts on this topic.

Brainstorming on steroids

I do a lot of brainstorming. Come to think of it, that isn’t quite accurate. It’s not like I sit down regularly to just brainstorm. Most of the time, ideas and thoughts pop into my head and I have my trusty A4 notebook next to me to write everything down. Later I go over my notes to make sense of them all.

I have brainstorming files for blog posts, short stories, feature articles, a novel or two – you name it.

For me personally, the best brainstorming ideas however are the ones that are fleshed out. The post ideas where I write one line in my notebook take a lot more time and effort to get into an actual post. It’s not that I don’t run with them, I do, but I always need to work on my original idea more first.

Add as much substance as possible to your initial idea. Jot down a few relevant bullet points or write out a few sentences. I find this helps me with picking which ideas to follow through on. It helps me decide which ideas have merit.

Fear of not being awesome

You hear it a lot around the Internet – be awesome, write epic sh*t and the like.

While I definitely agree that you should produce your best work, the thought of always having to be awesome can be a bit intimidating.

Let’s face it, even the best bloggers write a less than stellar post every now and again.

You should aim to be awesome and unique but don’t let that critical voice in your head stop you from actually sending out your work.  If you are looking at your ideas and constantly thinking this isn’t good enough, isn’t awesome enough, you probably won’t get very far.

You might have no problems with the writing aspect, but a BIG problem with having confidence in your idea.

Don’t let your fear of not being constantly brilliant, stop you from even trying.

The truth is sometimes you don’t know what ideas will resonate with people (though knowing your audience helps a lot in this regard).  What one person considers awesome, another might think is mediocre. Do your best but don’t let doubt or indecision cripple you all together.

Just a point here. I’m not saying that you should send out everything either.  Some ideas need more work before seeing the light of day. That’s fine, put the task aside and work on something else. Head back later to work on improvements.

Allow for spontaneity without being indecisive

Recently I wrote about the WordPress Editorial Calendar I installed on my blog. I have a confession to make, this post wasn’t on the calendar. Come to think of it, it wasn’t even an idea when I last looked at my calendar yesterday.  Last night I was commenting on another blog and it triggered this idea.

The irony of having the editorial calendar is that I am coming up with a lot of new ideas that simply aren’t scheduled. I am not sure if the calendar is helping me be more creative or I am simply thinking more out of the box.

While it is a good idea to have a structural tool in place, it is also important to factor in some level of flexibility.   Be flexible but make sure a decision gets made in a timely manner.

Clever decision-making  is vital to corporations, companies, small businesses, sole traders and writers every day. Making decisions on what idea is going to work or what idea you should be working on is a key to success, but I think I have hit on a whole different post there.

Do you agree?  Disagree?  Do you ever struggle with picking an idea more than the writing itself? Perhaps, you know exactly what post, short story or pitch idea to run with every time.  Either way, I would love to hear from you.

If you enjoyed this post, please pass it onto your friends.

Today is the first day of February here in sunny (at least for now) Brisbane. Amazing to think the first month of 2012 is already behind us!

This month’s top 12 is a combination of totally new finds as well as some of my all time favourites.

Enjoy!

Write

Cat’s Eye Writer – Is Writing with Vulnerability a Sign of Low Self-Concept?

Can’t believe I’m not a regular reader of this blog by Judy Dunn; though I think it’s safe to say I will be one from now on.

Krissy Brady – What to do When Your Writing’s Worst Enemy Is You?

Krissy is a new find and I can’t wait to read more of her blog.  I am sure every writer can relate to this article on some level.

Men with Pens – Should You Write with Your Heart or Your Head?

Men with Pens was one of the first writing/copywriting blogs I started reading. This post was written by the talented Ali Luke.

Life in a Pink Fibro – 12 Things I Learned In My Second Year of Blogging

I’m a fan of Allison Tait over at Pink Fibro. Anyone that has been blogging for a while can probably relate to this post.  With my 2 year anniversary fast approaching I definitely can. Good on you Allison for reaching such a milestone!

Change

Your Life Your Choices – How Learning Languages Can Change Your Life

I first noticed Lenia Evangelinou when she commented here at Write Change Grow. Naturally I popped over to her blog to have a look. This month I particularly liked her post on how learning languages can change your life. Makes we wish I had paid more attention in my Grade 8 French class.

The Skool of Life – 21 People Who Will Change the World in 2012

As I’m sure you have noticed already, I have a bit of a thing for great list posts featuring up and coming bloggers. I always find so many interesting people and great posts amongst them.  I think you will enjoy this list by Srinivas Rao.

Craig McBreen – Blogging Will Change Your Life

Craig is a completely new find, yet I couldn’t help but be enthralled by this post about how blogging can change your life. I agree with Craig – blogging is addictive!

Prolific Living – Living on Your Terms: Why Waiting for Acceptance Holds You Back

Farnoosh Brock from Prolific Living is one of my all time favourite bloggers.  I adored this post about living life on your terms and I am sure you will too.

Grow

Danny Brown – 12 Bloggers You Really Should Read in 2012

Another list of fabulous bloggers for you to explore by Danny Brown.

John Falchetto – So You Achieved Success – Now What?

Often the Write Change Grow blog talks about working towards success. But what happens when you are already there?  Good post on this topic by John Falchetto. Also love John’s great new website design.

Meant To Be Happy – Life 101: Life Lessons from a Decade of Teaching Teens

Another new face here at this blog.  Written by Ken Wert, I think this is an important read for any parent or person regularly associating with teenagers.

Writing Happiness – Are You Addicted to Information?

Marya asked this excellent question in her January post.  My answer – little bit.  If you also answered yes, read the post to see how you can get a handle on your over-consumption.

Bonus Post  (also known as shameless self promotion!)

The Gutsy Woman’s Guide to Solo Travel

As some of you may know, I am a regular contributor to the wonderful new website SheNOW (run by the lovely Brenna Smith) which empowers women to make informed decisions about their future.  This is my January post discussing tips on solo travel for women.

If you enjoyed this roundup of posts, please forward it onto your friends via the social media buttons below.

Thank you for your support!

Last week I finally got stuck in and cleaned up my home office.

Finally!

After a Skype phone call that left me feeling energised, I took action.

Since my office had been playing double duty as a bedroom for my brother over the last couple of months, it was a bit of a mess. As much as it would be nice to have someone else to blame, I am afraid the fault was all mine.

For starters, my desk was covered in paper.  Just to be clear, I have two desks.  One is a computer desk (which overlooks my office window); the other is an old style desk with three draws on each side.  The old desk was the one that was always covered in paper.  The floor under the desk wasn’t looking too good either, it was scattered with A4 binders which should have been filed away.

As I have mentioned here before on the blog, I seem to be a paper magnet, whether it be in the form of books, magazines, newspapers, junk mail or miscellaneous scraps of paper that just seem to mysteriously end up on my desk.

Now that my office is clear and clean I intend to keep it that way.

Here is why I believe keeping my office free of clutter is important.

1. A messy environment contributes to a scattered mind

Not a good combination for a creative person.

One quick tip on how to clear your desk, clean it with a cloth and spray disinfectant product. Take everything off the desk, clean the surface and be diligent about what you place back on.  Only add what you really need. Sort through, throw out, recycle or file everything you took off.

I’m not sure why exactly, but for me, moving the furniture helps. I move the furniture and clean the area with the vacuum. When I am feeling stuck or seeking a change, physically moving my furniture and creating a different space helps me.

I rearranged by bedroom furniture, shortly after finishing in my office. Moving furniture also counts for a good workout, I had muscles hurting two days later that I totally forgot I had.

2. Clutter is distracting

I saw a great quote on Facebook the other day compliments of Farnoosh from Prolific Living. Farnoosh by the way, is the person I had the Skype call with, so a big thank you to her for inspiring me to take action.

“Nothing is as fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.” ~William James

So true!  All I could see in my office were the projects I had not completed and the filing, shredding and sorting I was yet to do.  It was giving me with a heavy feeling every time I walked in my office.  Hardly conducive for optimal productivity or creative thinking.

3. Your confidence could suffer

Your first year of business is hard enough particularly if like me, you are doing something completely new and out of your comfort zone.  There are daily challenges and frustrations.  There are also moments of pure joy.  It makes sense to have your office life as simple and organised as possible.

On the days when things aren’t going well, you might feel disheartened.  Facing rejection for your writing assignments might have you feeling a bit down.  When you are feeling like this, I guarantee you looking at a mountain of messy paperwork, won’t make you feel any better.  It won’t give you the confidence or energy you need to send off another pitch or make that important phone call.

4. Creative people need a creative space

Your clutter is standing in the way of your success.  It’s blocking you from new opportunities. It is haunting you with unfinished projects and missed opportunities you could have pursued, had you been more organised and ready to take action.

Keep your desk, office and mind clear and open for new creative opportunities.

Another good tip if you work from home. Keep your work in your home office, don’t have documents all over the house. Naturally you can work in the garden or at your dining table but when you have finished make sure all of your work goes back into your office.

Other than my two large bookshelves which don’t fit in my office, I keep everything related to work in my home office. I try to avoid it spilling out all over the house. The reasons are obvious, when I am in my office I am working. When I am in the lounge room I am relaxing.

I had trouble with this particular boundary when I first started working from home. You can read about it in an earlier post Relaxing at home when you also work there.

5. You are running a business

You don’t want to be wasting your precious time, energy or money searching for files, paperwork or invoices.

You need to have important resources close at hand and up to date.

Organisation just doesn’t apply to your office. Clean up your laptop or PC. When I was working on someone else’s computer recently, I noticed their desktop was full of icons. They were practically covering the whole screen. It was near impossible to find anything. Only keep the basics on your desktop.

Admittedly, my office project isn’t 100% complete yet.

I still have quite a bit of recycling that I need to dispose of. Unfortunately there are too many newspapers in the cupboard to dump in my recycling bin all in one hit. Not unless I want to seriously tick off my neighbours.  That particular culling project will need to be a gradual process.

There is also a small pile of filing that I need to do. I have already sorted through this paperwork to make sure there isn’t anything pending, important, or urgent lurking in the filing.  Thought it is not a priority, I will set time in my calendar to make sure this task gets done.

I am enjoying my new work space and my new work attitude and I look forward to it paving the way for new opportunities and growth.

I hope clearing your office does the same for you.

If you enjoyed this post, please forward it to your friends and colleagues via the social media buttons below.

I would also appreciate your feedback in the comments.  Has clearing the clutter in your life or office helped your business?