As I prepare for the BlogWorld conference in New York, I am reminded of my last trip overseas.

Around this time last year (give or take a couple of weeks), I flew to Bangkok and Ho Chi Minh courtesy of the wonderful people at Thai Airways.

It was my first overseas writing assignment.

Here are 12 lessons I learned from this amazing experience.

Holidaying and working while travelling are different things

I was quick to discover that going on holiday and travelling for work are completely different things.

For starters, I was travelling with a specific purpose and objective.  I had a deadline to work within and specific writing parameters to take into consideration.  My mind was focused on getting the job done.

It was also the first time I’d taken my laptop travelling with me.  More care and responsibility is required when you take equipment with you as opposed to simply carrying your battered old backpack around.

I totally loved the experience of travelling and writing, something I am definitely looking forward to with my pending New York trip.

Everything is a potential story

The interesting thing about travelling for work (particularly when it involves travel writing) is that everything around you is a potential story.  Everything from the people, history, culture, places, past experiences in the city and personal feelings can all contribute to an article.  It made me look at things from a different perspective.

Adding a personal element was exciting and might not be something you could do if you were writing for a conventional travel magazine. Even though I had my topics pre-selected, I was constantly looking for a different spin on each topic.

Start working before you go

Having chosen my four core topics before leaving Australia, it wasn’t a case of rocking into Bangkok and thinking what I would write about.

As soon as the flight was confirmed, it was time to start researching and looking for story ideas. Naturally this included using the Internet, but it also involved guidebooks, magazines and going through some of my photos and mementos from previous trips to both Bangkok and Ho Chi Minh.

Stay flexible with your plans

Research and topics aside it’s a good idea to allow for flexibility in your travel and work plan.  Being too rigid with your plans could mean missing out on a great opportunity.

There was one instance where I could have experienced an amazing day trip out of Bangkok if I had asked a few more questions or thought a little more outside of the box.

Keep to a schedule

Despite being born in Queensland, I don’t cope well with hot weather. Having travelled to both cities before I was aware of how hot it could be at that time of year. To my surprise (and delight), Bangkok was quite cool.  A brief cold snap had occurred only days before I arrived.

Ho Chi Minh however was a different story. It was incredibly hot. The heat lasts all day.  It’s the sort of heat that zaps your energy and can leave you feeling listless. You also sweat a lot, so drinking enough water is essential.

Consequently I found myself venturing out early in the morning; stopping somewhere for lunch and then heading back to my air-conditioned room where I would work through the heat of the afternoon. Sometimes when I had a commitment in the afternoon, I would head back to my room earlier in the day for a cold shower (and on really hot days a change of clothes) and then head out again.

Since I was writing about restaurants and bars, I was back out in the evenings. Afternoons and late at night become my prime writing times.

Write while it’s still fresh

Whilst I am not sure what works for professional travel writers, I found myself taking copious handwritten notes and then typing as much detail as possible into my laptop when I got back to my room. As someone who doesn’t have the best memory, I tend to write everything down.

Though I didn’t write all of the posts in the 10 days I was overseas, I certainly had many posts in draft form by the time I arrived home.

If I had waited to get home and then started writing, I am sure the finished product wouldn’t have contained as much detail.

Internet access is important

I often read blogs relating to location independent businesses. What always interests me is the logistics of working online? In particular having access to the Internet which is obviously a must for a blogger.

The Internet access at the two hotels I stayed at was fantastic.  To be honest, I could get used to having secure, reliable Internet every time I travelled.  It was an utter bliss.

I used email and the Internet for ongoing research, contacting tour operators, updating this blog and sending the quick email home to let people know I was doing well. I also made the most of Skype, with one friend from Australia calling me every day to check on my writing progress.

Choose a central location

As a backpacker and traveller I have sometimes stayed a long way out from the action. Sometimes it was a matter of choosing to stay in the suburbs where the locals live, staying in areas frequented by other travellers, being close to nature and the outdoors and occasionally it was about money. Sometimes the further out you stay the cheaper the accommodation is.

Travelling alone I prefer to stay close to the action.

Both hotels on this trip were in great locations.  I was close to everything that I was writing about.  Taking the time to travel for long periods to and from main attractions would have eaten into my 10 day time frame. It also would have meant travelling more at night by myself.

The art of eating and drinking

Since I love trying different sorts of food and wine, this felt like a natural fit for me.  With that in mind, I also appreciate there are specific skills involved in being a dedicated food writer.

One thing I found intriguing was how people looked at you when you were taking photographs of your food.  It paid not to be too shy about it or you would miss out on the shot.  The combination of writing notes while I was eating and taking photos of the restaurants, bars and people in them, amounted to some very curious looks from strangers and staff alike.

Having experience travelling alone was a benefit when it came to going out.  While some people may feel intimidated on their own, I don’t have any problem sitting in a bar or restaurant by myself.

Photographs are part of the package

I took a lot of photographs and for a very good reason. I’m not a great photographer.  My plan was to take as many photos as possible with the hope that I would get enough good ones for my posts. Thankfully that was the case.

I am sure we have all travelled with someone who loves taking photos; their first instinct is to get out their camera.  Generally, I am not that person. I’m usually too busy experiencing the moment and totally forget about my camera.

This particular trip made me realise just how much I need to learn when it comes to taking good quality photographs. I also realised I have a lot to learn about night photography. Not one of my night photos (at least when it came to panoramic shots) came out correctly.

One definite plus was I learned more about using a photo editor like Picasa to bring out the best in my photos.

Get stuck into the work when you get back

Once I was back, there was no time to take it easy. I worked consistently to meet my deadline and was happy with the finished product.

Don’t forget about promotion

As I was typing this post, I realised the one key thing I should have done much sooner was promote my posts.  Even though I posted each link on both my personal Facebook and Write Change Grow Facebook page this is the first time I have featured the posts together.  It’s also the first time I have written about the experience in-depth.

Though the posts were loaded on the website over time, in hindsight I should have been promoting my work much earlier.

The result = 16 travel posts for you to enjoy.

I have linked below to each individual post for easy access.  Alternatively you can also use the previous/next buttons at the bottom of each post to move from one to another.  If you want to view the short video I put together for this trip click here.

Bangkok posts

Authentic Thai Food plus a Sweet Treat

World Cuisine

Saxophone Bar Bangkok

Wine Bars with a View

The Grand Palace, Buddha and Sunburn

Bangkok Shopping Centres

Bangkok Markets

Ho Chi Minh posts

Food Mekong Delta Style

Reunification Palace

Ho Chi Minh Bars

The War Remnants Museum

Vietnamese Food

Sofitel Saigon Hotel 

Phatty’s Sports Bar

Shopping on Dong Khoi

Ho Chi Minh Shopping

It goes without saying; this trip was an incredible experience which I thoroughly enjoyed.

If you liked this post, please forward it to your friends.

I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments, particularly if you have experience with travel writing. With the New York trip not far away, all insight and feedback would be appreciated.

When I was working with a coach, we talked about self-limiting beliefs.

As you can imagine by the name, a self-limiting belief is something that you believe that can and will hold you back from accomplishing your goals and dreams.

The real danger of these little suckers is that we often don’t realise they even exist. They linger in the background of our minds, causing fear and doubt in our lives.

As I have mentioned here before, the way we talk to ourselves can have a huge influence on our productivity, performance and self-esteem.

Over the course of writing this blog I have tried to walk the talk on the personal development side of things. Writing this blog has taught me a lot. Naturally coaching was a huge turning point for me as well.

So imagine my surprise when I realised over the weekend, I had picked up a new self-limiting belief.

I couldn’t help but wonder – how did this happen?

It started out with a simple thought. A thought expressed about a particular fear.

It started with ‘I don’t know how to…’

Just to be clear this thought wasn’t used in a way where all I had to do was learn how to do the task.  It was expressed in a negative way implying that I couldn’t, no matter what I learnt, carry out the task.

Harmless enough if it is a one-off random thought. The problem is one-off scary thoughts seem to like holding parties. Before you know it, 50 of the same negative thoughts have come for drinks.

Then they decide to stick around and trash the place.

Without realising, I had been repeating this, ‘I don’t know how to …’ declaration over and over again.

Before I knew it, I believed it.

This negative cascade of energy was stopping me from working on my eBook and stopping me from making the progress I needed.

It was slowly creeping into my everyday vocabulary.

If I didn’t put a stop to this negative thought, it was going to ruin my business prospects.

The great thing is once you realise you have a problem; you can start working on it straight away. You can silence that negative thought in your head and kick those beer drinking party crashers out the door.

This is one of the priceless benefits of coaching.  While issues still arise, I recognise them early, know how to handle them and most importantly am prepared to do the work to get myself back on track. I won’t lie though, sometimes it takes me a little longer than I would like.

Have you ever spoken to someone who announced they have given a problem a lot of thought, they know what is wrong and exactly what they need to do about it? Then they do absolutely nothing.  Don’t fall into this trap. Recognise a problem and act on it.

The important thing for me now is to transform, “I don’t know how to…” into ‘ This is how you do it.’

Deep down I know this limiting belief has no legs.  I know it is not rational, logical or true.

What self-limiting belief is sabotaging your life that you don’t even know about?

It could be something like:

• I’m not good at relationships
• I’m not good at job interviews
• I’m not good with money
• I’m not a good manager
• I’m not lovable
• I’m not pretty enough
• I’m not smart enough
• I don’t deserve to be happy
• I don’t deserve a promotion
• I don’t know how to run a business
• I don’t know how to save money
• I don’t know how to make money online
• I don’t know how to work for myself.

Obviously some items on this list are easier to work through than others but all of them require you to start somewhere.

Think about your negative recurring thoughts.  Do they stem from a limiting belief? What are some of the excuses you use for not trying something new or starting a project?  Do your excuses link back to a self-limiting belief that is lying dormant?

Unearth the belief and bring it out into the light. Start dealing with the issue, send it packing and watch your life move forward.

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends.

Photo courtesy of Exploring Alaska by RV

Show of hands.

Who is terrified of writing their first product?

I recently read a post by Corbett Barr.  Corbett’s post was about  how you are going to suck when you first start out.

What struck me is a recurring theme through the comments of this post about how people are worried about creating their first product, which in most cases is an eBook.

For any blogger, entrepreneur, potential author, writer etc – your first product can be downright terrifying.

Just for the record I would have put my hand up as well, since I am about half way through my first eBook and the demons are starting to crawl out of the woodwork.

Do any of these sound familiar?

I’m worried my first product will suck

I’m worried no one will buy it

I’m worried it’s not good enough (which explains the procrastination and constant rewrites)

I’m worried it’s going to be the same as all the other products on the market.

With this in mind, I decided to go searching for some help.

Dealing with the fear

Seth Godin – Fear of Shipping

This post talks about the fear of sending out your work. Whilst it was written in 2010, it is ageless because unfortunately fear doesn’t come with an expiration date.

Zen Habits – The Reason You’re Stuck and the best way to avoid the six ways that will keep you stuck

This happens to be a guest post by Seth Godin on Zen Habits.  This post was written around the time of Seth’s book Linchpin.  There are two terms in this post – shipping and lizard brain, which are now an established part of the blogger vocabulary.  With several top-selling books to his credit, Seth Godin definitely knows what he is talking about.

IttyBiz – What to do when you’re scared sh*tless?

This post by Naomi Dunford from IttyBiz talks about what to do when you’re a scared entrepreneur. While it wasn’t specifically written about the fear of creating your own product, it certainly captures feelings you will be able to relate to.

General how to

Wake Up Cloud – How to Write Your First eBook

Remarkablogger – How to Write an eBook that Doesn’t Suck

iNBoundPRO – How to Write and Sell an Ebook in 7 Weeks

How to make it work

I Will Teach You How To Be Rich – Why most people fail at making online products and how you can win

The I Will Teach You How to Be Rich blog has an excellent article on why most people fail at making online products and how you can win by Chris Guillebeau (one of the kings of product creation).

iNBoundPRO – 14 Successful eBook authors reveal how to write eBooks that sell

Hector from iNBoundPRO talks to 14 successful eBook authors.

Smart Passive Income – eBooks The Smart Way

This is my favourite resource on writing an eBook.  It’s completely free providing you sign up to the Smart Passive Income blog, which is a fantastic website run by Pat Flynn.  Definitely a win/win situation.

eBook Reviews

As you can imagine, there is a range of eBooks you can buy on how to write your own eBook.   I found this review post particularly interesting.

Sticky eBooks – Ebook reviews

Not only is this an interesting post but the site itself is full of information.  While the Sticky eBooks blog is no longer being updated (Kelly the owner now has a new website) there is a lot of information and products still on offer on this site.

One interesting point I noticed with the eBook market is that it seems to be constantly changing and evolving which is something to be aware of. Taking this into account, I tried to include information that is still relevant.

While researching this post, I realised that while many of these posts talk about launching your eBook, the launch process is a large and extremely important part of the process.  Consequently I decided to leave the launching side of things to a different post.

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends.

I would love to hear from you in the comments.  Do you have any suggestions on how to create a sensational online product? What  are your fears about creating your own product?

Photo courtesy of Renjith Krishnan at Free Digital Photos.net

Cleaning can be very therapeutic.

During a session of vacuuming on the weekend, a thought popped into my head and I couldn’t shake it.

What was my vacuuming revelation?

Life is primarily made up of two factors – your choices and random events.

Let’s take a look at these one at a time.

Your Choices

I believe a huge part of our life is made up of our choices. Our choices have a profound affect on how things turn out.

Some choices are not rocket science. If you choose to spend more money than you earn, you end up in debt.  If you constantly eat fatty foods you put on weight.

As we all know choices have consequences both good and bad.

Some choices are set in stone, others easily changeable. Many of the set in stone options have more flexibility than we imagine. If something doesn’t work out we can try something else.

Some choices like marriage and children have a huge impact on our lives, others barely make a difference.

Or at least that’s how we often view things.  I’m starting to understand that a lot of our small decisions can have a big impact.  One cigarette here, a drink there, buying a pair of shoes you can’t afford, popping a few dollars into a slot machine repeated over time can all add up.

A lot of our seemingly insignificant choices can have a snowball effect.

Often we don’t want to take responsibility or be accountable for our choices. It’s sometimes easier to blame our partner, parents, friends or crappy boss for the trouble we get ourselves into.

Most of the time there is no one to blame but ourselves. At first thought that fact could be a little confronting but give it some more thought.  It’s actually quite liberating.  It means that we have more control and power over our situation than we imagined.

Sometimes we underestimate the power of our own choices.

This isn’t about not making mistakes either. We all make mistakes. If you are not making mistakes, you are probably not trying to learn, grow or improve and that can be the biggest mistake of all.

You shouldn’t be afraid to make mistakes.

Bear in mind there is a difference between not knowing something is a mistake and knowing full well an action is going to negatively impact your life and doing it anyway. I have done this myself in the past (more times than I care to admit) and it always comes back to bite you or someone else. These sorts of mistakes often hurt people.

A problem arises when you keep making the same bad choices and the same mistakes over and over again.

I will give you a painful and embarrassing example from my own history.

Unfortunately I used to be attracted to bad boys. For this post, I won’t go into the reasons why but suffice to say I could write a book about the topic.

Despite the fact that I knew certain people were bad for me, I kept repeating the same mistake by choosing the wrong sort of person. Whilst there were moments where these people were exciting to be around, it didn’t outweigh the prolonged periods of heartache and low self-esteem I ultimately suffered.

While it would be easy to blame the men involved, it was me who was making the bad choices by hooking up with them in the first place. I didn’t learn from my mistakes (at least not in the beginning).

Thankfully my self-esteem, values and choices are now aligned and bad boys don’t even factor on my radar any more.  A sign of disrespectful behavior is an instant turn off.

The more control you have over your choices the happier you will be.  You might be thinking all of this control sounds a little boring but you need to start looking at control in another way.  Think of it in the realm of adventure, freedom, fun, spontaneity and boundless options, instead of something that limits you.

Don’t think that your choices need to be all about giving up or sacrificing the things you want.  Compromise and making sacrifices may be required but ultimately it’s about deciding what is most important to you and choosing to make it a key priority in your life.

Random Events

This is the stuff that keeps us awake at night. These are the events we stress and worry about. It’s being told we have cancer or being involved in a serious car accident.  It’s being on the receiving end of a natural disaster.

Random events, in this context, means the stuff that happens to us.

It’s justifiably scary because a lot of it is out of our control.

That’s where we go full circle. Some of the random stuff, like the car accident for example isn’t all that random. Often it can be the result of someone else’s choices. Getting behind the wheel of a car after having a few drinks would be an example of a bad choice that hurts innocent people.  Our choices have consequences.

While we have no control over certain events in life, we certainly have control over our own decisions.

True power exists in our choices.

Are you making the most of yours?

Do you agree with these two factors or have a different opinion? I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback in the comments section below.

If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends and colleagues.

Last Saturday I didn’t turn my laptop on.

No checking my blog stats first thing in the morning, no Facebook updates, no retweeting great blog posts, no checking work or personal emails. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

I cleaned the house in the morning, went to the hairdressers (I’m blonde again just in time for my trip to New York) and went for sunset drinks at a gorgeous new bar on the edge of the Brisbane river. Then it was off to dinner and home by 10 pm.

Still the laptop stayed off.

It felt pretty good actually.

I figure one of two thoughts are flying through your head right now. If you don’t work online, you’re probably thinking I’m slightly crazy and need to get out more (you might have a valid point there by the way).

If you do work online you might be thinking, ‘I need to do that more often’ or be asking yourself, ‘When was the last time I did that?’

The truth is before last Saturday, I can’t remember the last time I didn’t turn on my laptop every day, at least in the morning.  It’s not like I work all of the time, I take a lot of time off, just not usually a full day at a time.

I realise to a non-blogger this might sound a bit extreme.

But let me put it another way, when was the last time you didn’t use your iPhone or mobile phone all day?  Leaving it somewhere by accident and not being able to use it, doesn’t count by the way.

I don’t have a phone that connects to the Internet which is a good and a bad thing, depending how you look at it. I’m starting to realise how much it would help with my work but I’m also aware it forces me to take some time out.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, working from home makes it much easier to quickly turn on the laptop and start working.

Being single and not having children certainly makes a difference as well. I don’t have any constraints on my weekend time, except for the ones I impose on myself, so I can work or play whenever I want.

I have been observing the work habits of other people lately.

I’ll give you an example. This Monday was a public holiday in Brisbane. As someone self-employed and still working to get established, I rarely take public holidays at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, I do take some of them just not all of them. When I first started working for myself, I wondered if other people either starting out or already established did the same.

I began to notice how many people with their own business were still working on Facebook and Twitter on public holidays. Granted many of their tweets and updates were automated but I noticed a lot were not. They were talking to each other and to my knowledge, I don’t think there is an automated system for this sort of conversation yet (if there is by all means let me know).

Technology has become such a big part of our lives (which as a blogger I am happy about by the way) that sometimes we need to make a conscious decision to step away from it, even if it is only for a short time.

The interesting part is on the day I didn’t check my results, some of them did incredibly well.  One of the stats I was following tripled during my day offline, while another quadrupled. I’m starting to think I should take a full day off more often!

With BlogWorld New York fast approaching, I don’t anticipate many days where I won’t be working on my laptop leading up to the event.

Take that back, I do have a birthday coming up this month and I might just take the whole day off.  Then again, I could just quickly check my blog before heading off to brunch…

I would love to get other people’s insight on this. If you work online, have a blog or work for yourself how often do you take days completely devoid of electronics?  Do you work on public holidays or down tools completely?

I would love to hear your feedback and thoughts in the comments section below.

If you enjoyed this post, please forward it to your friends.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

As I mentioned in my last post, I found an old diary last weekend and couldn’t resist the urge to take a stroll down memory lane.

What I failed to mention in the post was this wasn’t my only diary. I have a whole box of them.

I have been writing either a journal or diary for many years. Sometimes it takes the form of a journal where I write down my feelings at random times or a calendar diary where I write a short account of what I have been doing and feeling each day.

Here are a few lessons I’ve learnt from keeping a diary.

You are tougher than you think

Over the years, volumes of my journals and diaries have been dedicated to writing about the men in my life.

In one journal, I recount how I couldn’t possibly cope without my ex-boyfriend. I thought I couldn’t live without him.

Now I barely remember him.

When I first read through these particular journal entries (I’m slightly embarrassed to admit there was more than one along these lines) I cringed to myself at how needy and insecure I was. Years later, when I glanced through them, I laughed out loud at the absurdity and drama of it all.

Journals can be a reminder of how strong and resilient you are.

If you have an old diary, take the time to flick back through the pages to see how you overcame a particular setback.  We often find a situation wasn’t as bad as first anticipated. Use the knowledge and experience you acquired when next faced with a problem.

Make yourself happy

In all of the volumes written about my various boyfriends, you might be wondering where I factored into the equation? The truth is I probably didn’t factor in as much as I should have.

I was often too busy trying to make my partner happy that I failed to register if I was happy myself. In relationships, I used to be the ‘fixer’. No matter how broken a relationship was I would set about trying to fix it, when in fact I should have walked away. I should have been running in a few instances.

Unfortunately, I probably made a few of my partners miserable with this fixer approach as well. It wasn’t just me who suffered.

I have a completely different take on this now.  I don’t try to fix things. I focus on my own happiness instead of trying to keep everyone else happy and work from there. I accept that some relationships should not be fixed or forced.

Don’t seek out drama

I am the first to admit I used to be a bit of a drama queen when I was younger. I am not sure exactly why.  I think it was a combination of boredom, a need for excitement and plain old immaturity.

Journaling and keeping a diary can help you recognise destructive patterns in your behaviour.  Sometimes we can’t see our bad habits or actions without looking at the big picture. Once you are aware of what you’re doing, you can choose to do something about changing your behaviour.

Life is about choices

Life is all about the choices we make.  Choices have consequences good and bad.  Some choices have little or no consequences, while others can stay with us forever.

The more you see your choices (and the consequences of them) documented, the more they start to sink in and the more you begin to question how and why that choice came about.

Thoughts rattling around in our heads don’t always take hold.  Words written down or said out loud can have immense power.  This is a component of working with a coach.  Often a coach will have you express your feelings out loud to truly get the point across.

Friendship is important

A recurring theme throughout my life is the constant support of my wonderful friends.  They have helped and supported me during some testing times. In turn my friends have leaned on me as well.

Naturally they have been there for the fun times as well and thankfully there have been plenty of those!

People talk a lot about the importance of family and yes without a doubt family are important.

Friends however should never be taken for granted or their importance overlooked. Often they will be there for you when family won’t.

You’ve come a long way baby

Reading through my old diaries reminds me just how far I’ve come and how much I have grown.

As a self-development tool, the benefits of keeping a diary should not be underestimated.  If you have some old diaries have a look through them.

Don’t be afraid to face your past head on and recognise how far you have come. Don’t be scared to acknowledge that you still have some work ahead of you.

I realise in a high-tech world with so much of our lives documented online, traditional hard copy diaries and journals are considered old-fashioned.

Yet sometimes having a private place to express ourselves freely and without judgement from others (and ourselves for that matter) is just want we need to remember, reflect and revitalize.

If you enjoyed this post, please forward it to your friends.

If you have learnt from your experience of keeping a diary or journal I would love to hear from you in the comments.

I stumbled upon an old personal diary over the weekend.

The diary was from 1994 when I was 28 years old.  I decided to take a stroll down memory lane.

Within minutes I was laughing my head off.  I was also completely amazed.

I went out a lot back then. I was extremely social. Every night (though I occasionally stayed home on Monday nights) I was out. Movies, dinners, shows, social club work functions, you name it.

I was a social butterfly.

Recently I have been somewhat less social. As I mentioned in an earlier post, my life has changed over the last couple of years.  I have been heavily focused on my writing and blogging goals.

Writing is a solitary pursuit. While people do collaborate on certain writing projects, it tends to be something you do on your own. In my case often in silence because it helps me concentrate. It’s not exactly party central. Not that I am complaining, I love my new lifestyle.

However with BlogWorld New York approaching, I’ve started thinking about the networking and social side of the conference.

Here are my initial thoughts after reading through the old diary.

Don’t drink too much

A few too many entries start with the words – bad hangover.  I admit I drank too much and too often back then.

This is something I will be acutely aware of as I attend the conference.

Firstly I don’t want to do anything embarrassing (which as we all know is more likely to happen when you have had a few). Secondly I want to remember the people I meet and talk to.

What’s the point of meeting all of these amazing people and learning new skills and information if you don’t remember it later? I also don’t want anyone remembering me for all the wrong reasons.

Embrace the one on one

Even back when I was 28 I enjoyed meeting people one on one. This probably explains why I went out so often in the first place, because I had a lot of friends to catch up with and I enjoyed talking to them privately.

Talking one on one gives you the chance to talk more openly. You are more likely to confide in someone and have a more in-depth conversation when you are not part of a large group.

When two people are talking it gives them an opportunity to connect.

This is going to be interesting from a conference point of view since there will be a lot of people all wanting the same thing.

Quiet areas or private moments may be hard to come by.  I imagine the best chance for a one on one conversation will be to book meetings for breakfast, lunch or dinner before, after or during the conference.

Go the large group

The times where the one on one went out the window were work social functions and my birthday parties.

I had some epic birthday celebrations. I would gather a group of wonderful friends at a fantastic Sydney restaurant and let the night unfold. I would flit around the room talking to everyone.

At one birthday, my 30th I think, I made a habit of sitting on everyone’s lap and having my photo taken.  While I won’t be sitting on anyone’s lap at BlogWorld, I will be trying to socialize with some of the larger groups.

Of course, this is fundamentally where networking gets tricky.

With birthday and work functions I pretty much knew everyone.  If people bought along a friend I didn’t know I was quick to introduce myself and say hello.

At a conference, it’s completely different since you may have never met anyone before or at least not in person.

My plan is to reach out to as many of my existing online friends that are going to BlogWorld. Then it won’t feel so much like meeting strangers, as meeting friends for the first time.

Don’t feel intimidated

I used to have a boyfriend who was very outgoing. He was the sort of person who made everyone laugh. He loved being the centre of attention.

Whenever we went out in a group, his best friend hardly said a word.  I used to think his friend was incredibly shy until years later when I met him one on one.

He wasn’t shy.

He simply chose to step back when someone else was taking centre stage, which meant most of the time when his best friend was around.  He probably felt he couldn’t be as funny or as entertaining.  He may have felt like he couldn’t compete, so he simply gave up.

Once I got to know him better, I realised he had a lot to add to conversations.

It can be difficult but try not to feel intimidated by big personalities who monopolize the conversation.

Don’t monopolize the conversation

You saw that one coming didn’t you.

I have experienced this a few times myself.  You go out with a group and someone comments at the end of the night about how quiet you were.  Sometimes it’s not about you being quiet, it’s about someone else not being quiet enough!

I’m sure you know what I mean.  There was one person doing all of the talking (about themselves normally) and you couldn’t get a word in, so you stopped trying.

Keep trying.  Perhaps break off into a sub-group to talk to other people if possible.

If you are the person doing all of the talking, ease up for a moment.  Let someone else have a turn.  The conversation will be much more interesting if you let other people participate.

Be Yourself

Whether we like to admit it, we can act differently around different people.

Not only that but people see us at different stages of our life and assume that is who we are now or were in the past.

I’ll give you an example of a conversation that occurred between two of my friends who met for the first time on a night out.

New friend – ‘It’s great to see her coming out of her shell.’

Older friend (from time in diary) – ‘What do you mean?  She’s always like that!’

Needless to say, they were talking about me.

The important thing is to be yourself and act appropriately for the situation. Obviously you are going to act differently in a business situation as opposed to a backyard barbecue with friends.

In a work situation strive to be friendly, professional and interesting.

Keep Learning

I have a lot to learn about networking and socializing for business.

As a Personal Assistant I was the one organizing large social functions (also a valuable skill I might add) though I didn’t always get to attend them.

Since I understand networking and socializing are not the same beasts, I will definitely be asking my friends who attend conferences regularly for some tips.

On a socializing level, I need to reignite my inner social butterfly, dress her up and take her to the party!

I’d love to hear any networking/socializing tips you might have to share. If you have been to BlogWorld in the past, I would value your input.  Please leave your thoughts and feedback in the comments section below.

Is there a social aspect of yourself that needs to be reignited to help your business or career along?

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With BlogWorld New York next month, I thought I would base this month’s post selection on the amazing range of speakers at the conference.

This means you will have a selection of old favourites (since I follow quite a few of the speakers already) as well as some new discoveries.

I am excited to hear these people (as well as many others) speak and hopefully meet them in person.

Leading up to the conference, you will find more of my posts leaning towards blogging, small business, networking, marketing and business concepts in general.

Let’s get started on this month’s selection.

Write

Aliventures – How to Outline any Piece of Writing

Ali has been mentioned here before.  I loved this post on how to outline different styles of writing. Lots to learn here.

Katie Davis – How to Publish a Poetry eBook in 7 Simple Steps

I don’t talk about poetry a lot here on the site, though you might remember I wrote and recited a love poem at my best friend’s wedding.

I was delighted to find this website.  Katie is an author and illustrator.  While writing poetry may not be my forte, I found the steps required to put together a poetry eBook informative. This guest post is written by Janet Wong.

The Sales Lion – 5 Reasons Why You Should Stop Worrying about the ‘Echo Chamber’ and Write the Heck What You Want

I found this post by Marcus Sheridan very interesting. Though he is talking about writing on social media, it could apply to other forms of writing as well. Technically this was a late March post but I liked it so much I decided to run with it.

Corbett Barr – You Are Going to Suck

A short but powerful post from Corbett. The notion of perfection holds many people back from even starting. Admit you might suck at first but start anyway – then work hard to improve your craft.

Reading through the comments on this post was fascinating. It appears that a common fear is sucking at writing and launching your first product.  Since I am in the process of writing my first eBook, I can definitely relate.

Change

Convince and Convert – Redesigning Your Blog to Drive Reader Behavior

It’s interesting to see how redesign changes to a website can impact its success. Insightful post by Jay Baer from Convince and convert about changes made to his own site.

Man vs Debt – 4 Questions that Changed How I View Work and Life

Great read by Adam Baker discussing Danielle LaPorte’s book and the four questions we should all be asking ourselves.

Make sure you watch Danielle’s video at the end – it’s fantastic!

Michael Hyatt – 12 Ways to Know if You Are a Leader

I have stumbled upon Michael’s site a few times but haven’t really read a lot. I am quickly discovering that was my loss and I can’t wait to read more of Michael’s wonderful content.

Time Management Ninja – The Top 10 Time Management Lies We Tell Ourselves

This is a brand new find and I’m excited at the prospect of exploring this blog further.

I dare you to read through Craig Jarrow’s list of lies we tell ourselves and not find a lie you haven’t used lately.

One thought that struck me with this new find was the blog design appealed to me straight away, which make me want to stick around and read more. Don’t let anyone tell you design doesn’t matter, particularly when it comes to first impressions – it does.

Grow

Smart Passive Income – My First Online Business

Regular readers will have seen Pat Flynn featured in the top 12 several times before. Pat is awesome!  This is a fascinating read about his first online business.

Type-A Parent – What You Need to Start Podcasting

Considering I purchased a BlogWorld 3 day blogger/podcaster pass and I know nothing about podcasting, I thought a post on the topic would be appropriate. Many bloggers swear by podcasting as a way to grow and diversify their audience.

This post by Jendi Pagano explains what you need to get started.  While there are several in-depth blogs on podcasting, as a beginner sometimes it helps to start with the basics.

John Falchetto – Do You Need a Tribe to Grow Your Online Business?

An thought-provoking post by John Falchetto about whether you need a tribe to grow your online business.

Social Triggers – How a New Blog Brought In $2000 in Revenue – And Attracted 800 Readers – In a Single Day (Case Study)

Derek Halpern offers a case study on a new blog that made some extraordinary growth.

Bonus

Technically Caleb is not speaking at BlogWorld but I couldn’t resist mentioning this post over at Pocket Changed. Come to think of it, Caleb was my bonus post last month too. What can I say he writes some wicked link posts!

Pocket Changed – 20 Must Read Blog Posts About Entrepreneurship I Wish I’d Written

Shameless Self Promotion

I also wanted to share with you my recent guest post on Dumb Little Man.

Dumb Little Man – 14 Action Inducing Lessons from Benjamin Franklin

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Photo Courtesy of Simon Howden at Free Digital Photos.net

“The difference between who you are and who you want to be is WHAT YOU DO.”

I love this quote.  It’s extremely powerful.

A while ago I was working on an idea for a post about how to evolve from the person we are now, into the person we want to be. Then I spotted this quote on Facebook (thanks to Brenna from SheNOW for sharing) and it all fell into place.

It’s about what you do.

Not what you say you’re going to do, not what you plan to do, not what you brag about doing – but what you actually DO.

Here’s my take on how you can be inspired by this message.

Do the work that matters

Sometimes the DO part can be a little confusing.

We might work long hours and put in the hard yards yet find ourselves no closer to our goal.

Unfortunately, it can come down to us working on the wrong projects, which can be frustrating and time-consuming.

Working for myself has been an eye-opener in this respect.  As a writer my key goal is pretty clear, I need to be writing.  I need to be writing a lot.

The million dollar question is which writing projects should I be working on? Which project or idea will yield the best results?  Which ideas will be a waste of my time and money?

It goes without saying, this is the difficult part.

One constant I have noticed is the projects I should be working on are usually the ones that scare me.  They are the projects that challenge me.  These are the tasks that usually bring the best results.

Help and respect others

What if you want to be a better mother, father, husband, wife, friend, partner or citizen?

Start by being kind to people. I realise this is a very simple idea (and one that seems obvious) but how often are we kind, particularly when we are feeling stressed or tired.

We can demonstrate kindness through our actions and words.

Be helpful and supportive to your loved ones.  Let that kindness flow over onto strangers.

Do what you know is right

Let’s face it; doing the right thing isn’t always the easy option. Often it can be the most difficult one.

Doing the right thing can mean being vulnerable, honest and putting ourselves on the line. It involves integrity and strength of character, usually at a time when we simply want to give up or give in to other impulses.

Doing the right thing can be the pivotal turning point between who you are and who you want to be.

Align with your values

Our lives can go spectacularly off course when our actions are not aligned with our values or when our existing values conflict with one another.

Life can go pear-shaped when we are not even aware of what our values are.

Make sure that you are at peace with your value system and work towards living those values. Living to your values will help make those ‘what should I do?” decisions easier.

Be a believer

If you don’t believe in yourself, you are going to struggle.  If you don’t believe in yourself you will put up with sub-standard treatment from other people and most likely not treat yourself all that well either.

Neither option sounds particularly appealing.

If you don’t back yourself, you will have a hard time taking action, following through or doing what you really want.

You need to believe wholeheartedly in your own potential.

Know who you want to be

If you want to improve or change your life, if you want to move from point A to point B – it certainly helps to know where you want to go or where you want to end up.

Naturally you aren’t going to have all the answers (that wouldn’t be any fun now would it)?  One of the amazing things in life is the great opportunities and adventures that come along when we least expect them.

No matter where you are starting from or where you want to end up; hold strong to your sense of self, know the person you want to be and remember it’s about what you do.

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Coming Wednesday, my top 12 posts for April.

Unless you have been living in a cave, you have probably heard of the television show ‘The Voice’.

The Australian version is blitzing the ratings at the moment.  It’s all over the Internet and social media platforms (you can watch Twitter go ballistic during a show).

The marketing for this show is phenomenal. The marketing people certainly know what they were doing.

There is no doubt ‘The Voice’ is a highly compelling and entertaining show with some incredible talent. The blind auditions have been amazing.

Yet something struck me the other day.

By spending all of this time watching someone chasing their singing dream, what exactly is happening to my writing one?

It dawned on me that by sitting on the couch watching people strive to become singers, dancers or lose weight; we are actually forsaking our own dreams.

We feel inspired by watching shows where people go after what they want.  The big question is do we feel inspired enough to get off the couch and do something ourselves or are we becoming a legion of watchers, instead of participators?

Are we happy to idly sit by and watch people chase their goals and dreams while our dreams lay dormant or live in the land of ‘I’ll do that when I have more time?’

If you have the time to watch your favourite television programs and pursue your own dreams and goals by all means do both.

However if time is a precious commodity for you, I would hit your own turn the chair around button, start cheering for yourself and stop watching from the sidelines.

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