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You are in charge of defining your own worth.
Not your parents (no matter how much you love and respect them), not your partner (no matter how much you adore them), not your friends, children, boss or anybody else.
When we are children we often define our worth based on the thoughts and opinions of our parents or guardian/s. As adults we get to make up our own minds. If our parents didn’t send positive self-worth vibes our way we get the chance to say – nope don’t agree with you – and forge our own opinions.
Your worth doesn’t decrease because someone decides to break up with you or not be your friend anymore. Feeling hurt and sad when someone decides to exit your life is normal but don’t let it define your worth. Grieve the loss but hold true to yourself.
Your worth isn’t dictated by your relationship status. Being single, married, having kids, being divorced doesn’t define your worth.
Your worth doesn’t change because you have a hard week at work or get told off by the boss. Your ego might feel a little bruised but the core of your being is still intact. People sometimes define their worth through their work. While loving whatever you do for a living is wonderful, it’s not all you are.
Your worth is not determined by how much money you have or make. It isn’t defined by whether you have the newest model of a particular car (despite what the car company tries to tell you) or the latest smart phone.
Your worth is not something you hand over to someone on a silver platter.
It’s not something anyone can take away from you.
In bad relationships and awful work situations it can often feel like we are giving away pieces of ourselves. It can feel like someone else is calling the shots and has all the control. That’s when we need to value ourselves more than ever.
Your worth has absolutely nothing to do with likes, shares or followers on any social media website! Don’t fall into this trap. Too many people get sucked down this rabbit hole.
People will try to label you (pretty, shy, stupid, smart, popular – just to name a few). They will decide that you’re only good at or good for certain things. People will make judgments on a part of your life or personality that they think they know.
But you know better because you know the whole picture.
You aren’t some one-dimensional trick pony. You’re a multifaceted diamond that yes comes with flaws, rough edges and its own type of exquisite beauty. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
By all means if you trust someone listen to their feedback. Taking on feedback and working towards improving is all part of the growing process. But be discerning with what you believe. People often have their own agenda.
Don’t let labels define you – you are worth so much more than that, you are so much more than that.
Understand that we aren’t all good at everything (and that’s perfectly okay because it would be seriously dull if we were all great at the same things) – but don’t let people pigeon-hole you.
Occasionally we have to hold strong against people (sometimes whom we love) who don’t believe in us. It’s hard and it takes an enormous amount of courage and determination – but you can do it.
You are in charge.
Believe in your worth. Be your own super-charged cheer squad because damn it – you are worth it!
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Speaking of confidence – if you need help with self-doubt, the amazing Mel Robbins runs an online course How to Break the Habit of Self-Doubt and Build Real Confidence over at CreativeLive. Check it out for yourself, it might be just want you are looking for.