How to Break Out of a Victim Mentality – Part 3

Monday I published Part 1 of How to Break Out of a Victim Mentality.

Yesterday, I followed up with Part 2.

As promised, here is the final to the three part series.

Seek financial freedom

While this doesn’t apply to all situations, sometimes we can by trapped by our finances.  If we feel trapped by money (or most likely a lack of it), it normally means we are drowning in debt or making bad investment choices (though the economy certainly isn’t helping much lately either).

If you are drowning in debt, you obviously need to start paying off that debt.  Equally important, you need to look at the destructive spending habits that got you into trouble in the first place.  You will need to alter your spending habits, if you want to change your financial future.

Perhaps your problem can be helped by having some spare cash available?  While throwing money at a problem isn’t usually the answer, there are some instances where it may be beneficial.  Having a financial buffer or safety stash for when a problem arises, can help in some situations.

Adjust your attitude

You need to ditch the ‘poor me’ attitude.

The truth is sometimes we want to wallow.  We want to curl up and shut out the world.  I have certainly done this in the past, usually when a guy has stomped all over my heart.  In cases such as heartbreak, hiding and licking our wounds can be helpful.  A short period of wallowing before we crawl out of our cocoon and dive back into the world again can be healing and therapeutic.

However, if you get stuck in wallowing and feeling like the whole world is against you, you could be headed for trouble, particularly if depression sets in.  And yes, I have been there too.  Not a good place to be.

Perhaps a good way to get back out into life is to help people less fortunate than you.  Maybe a stint of volunteering is just want you need to get your mojo back and stop thinking ‘poor me’. 

Stop being codependent

I am a big fan of the ‘Twilight’ books and movies.   I have watched all of the current movies multiple times. 

What I don’t like about the story is how codependent the character Bella is.  Yes, I realise she is a teenager, which is the only reason I can tolerate her sappy behaviour.  Even taking her age  into consideration, she can get on my nerves.  Maybe because she reminds me of how codependent and needy I was as a teenager with my first boyfriend - cringe.

If you think there are not any real Bella’s out in the world – think again.  There are plenty of them and a lot of them are not teenagers.  Albeit most of them live without the vampires and werewolves factor, instead substituting them for bad relationships based on neediness and the complete inability to be alone or stand on one’s own two feet. 

If you cannot be independent and are constantly expecting people to save you or complete you – you need to have a long, hard look at why you are so internally unhappy.  You need to find a way to harness your own internal happiness, instead of always seeking validation and acceptance outside of yourself.

Focus on what is important to you

Now is the time to focus on what you want. 

If you have a project or goal that you want to achieve, now could be the time to get started.  Granted, you might not have the time or energy to get 100% involved in your project, but at the very least you can start to research or do some preliminary work to get your project off the ground.

The key is to focus on what you want to achieve and not on your problems. 

Who knows, you could be so busy working towards what you want, that your problem doesn’t seem quite so overwhelming?

Don’t expect the magic fairies to come and fix things for you

There are no magic fairies that are going to swoop in and save the day.  Just like your chances of winning the lottery are extremely low.

While a bit of harmless fantasising about things miraculously being fixed for you is normal, having an unrealistic view of the situation won’t do you any good.  If you are waiting for someone or something to save you, you could be in for a big disappointment.

Be your own hero.  Save yourself.

Don’t give up

Above all you have to stay strong.  Make up a list of your strengths to remind yourself of them.  Be determined that your current adversity will not define you into the future.  Make up a list of problems that you have already overcome.  Give yourself credit for being strong and resilient. 

Make up a list of your joys and blessings.  It is important to be grateful for the wonderful things we do have in our lives.

The light will appear at the end of the tunnel and once again you will be shining brightly.

If you found value in this three part series, I would love to hear from you.  Please leave your comments below.  Thank you for reading!

This post was written by...

Thea – who has written 265 posts on Write Change Grow.

Hi! Welcome to my blog.  I'm a freelance writer and blogger. For more Write Change Grow goodness, sign up for my free newsletter.  You can connect with me on Facebook and Twitter.

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