Recently I was talking to a girlfriend about a difficult time she was going through.
It reminded me that sometimes it can be hard to stay positive and focused when things go pear-shaped, particularly when we have to deal with one problem after another (or most likely a whole bunch of problems at the same time).
It can be easy to grow despondent. When everything seems to be turned upside down, it can be easy to slip into a victim mentality.
I know this from experience; since I’ve been in this position myself.
Just to be clear, when I use the word victim in this post, I’m not talking about victims of physical violence or anyone who is suffering a serious or life threatening illness. These are both major problems where people should seek out help from a qualified medical professional.
In this article, I am talking about life getting us down in general. I’m talking about overcoming and working through the tough times when they occur.
I’ve broken this one into a three part series, so make sure you check out the other posts.
Here are some tips that might come in handy (depending on your specific problem naturally) for seeing some glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.
Accept that it is going to be hard
As much as we want problems to be easy to fix, some just aren’t. If you have a big issue, than accept it may take some time and work to fix (or overcome if the problem is not a fixable one).
Unfortunately that work may be hard, even heart-wrenching. Pretending nothing is wrong or going into denial, won’t do you much good.
I can personally relate to taking the denial option. Lately, I have had my head in the sand over a particular health issue. Thankfully, I am now taking action to fix the problem.
Accept you may have a bumpy road ahead but have faith in an eventual positive outcome.
Have a Plan A, B and C
When trouble strikes, you need a plan of attack. You need to find a way to fix your problem or at least take action to alleviate the feeling of being trapped or out of control.
While a plan of attack is important, so is having a time frame for your plan. Stick to your initial time frame, particularly if people are trying to derail you for their own gain.
If your first plan doesn’t work, have a backup one (hence the A, B and C).
Re-frame the problem
Sometimes we can just be too close to a situation. We cannot see a way out or the problem seems much bigger than it really is.
Take some time to think clearly and logically through the problem (enlist someone you trust who can be objective if you like).
Look at different ways of viewing the situation. Perhaps if you look at your problem from a different perspective, you will realize it is not as overwhelming as you originally imagined.
Believe you can do it
If you are feeling depressed and saying to yourself, “I can’t do it,’ over and over, then there is a big possibility you will be right. This negative, defeated frame of mind won’t help you carry out the task at hand.
You need to firmly believe you can fix your problem or at least see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Remember, you are strong enough. We are always stronger than we realize. It just doesn’t always feel that way in the middle of a crisis.
Don’t dig a deeper hole
All too often when we are overwhelmed by a victim mentality, we make bad choices. Choices that will dig us deeper into a hole of despair. When faced with a decision, try to think as clearly as possible.
Watch your vices. Don’t let them get the upper hand. If you give into your vices, your life could soon feel like it is spiraling out of control.
Have a happy place
Everyone needs a sanctuary. Whether it is a place or a person that supports you and cheers you up, everyone needs something that makes them feel relaxed, happy and safe.
Make sure you have a happy place. Make sure you have an escape value for your stress and anxiety.
Somewhere among our problems, we need to still have fun and be happy.
Don’t get so bogged down in the doom and gloom, that you miss out on the joy happening around you and in your life!
Head over to How to Break Out of a Victim Mentality Part 2.
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