Have you ever looked at the people around you and wondered why their lives are moving forward (falling in love, getting married, having children, getting wonderful jobs, making a lot of money, having a great social life) and yet your life seems to be standing still or worse going backwards?
Have you ever thought, when the hell is it going to be my turn?
If you are a regular reader of this blog, you will know that I am trying to change my life. More to the point, I am trying to change careers, which has had a huge impact on my life.
Due to the sacrifices I have made to get to this point, my lifestyle is very different from what it was a couple of years ago. Most days, I am more than happy with that, but hey I’m human, there are the odd times I struggle with it. I occasionally feel that everyone is moving ahead in leaps and bounds and I am standing still.
If you ever feel this way, here are some thoughts to keep in mind.
Run Your Own Race
I mentioned this in an earlier post about comparing yourself to others. We live in a competitive world. No one would dispute that.
Yet the truth is you are ultimately running your own race. The person you are competing against most of the time is yourself. I can’t help thinking we have an internal competition/tug of war going with the person we are right now and the person we want to be (or know we can be).
You need to be patient
Sometimes we simply need time on our side. We need patience. If you watch some advertising (or a romantic comedy for that matter), you could be under the impression that wonderful, life changing events happen in an instant. Of course, this can often be the case. But most likely, the good stuff takes a little longer. Hang in there and be patient.
Have a plan and take action
So your life isn’t moving along the way you want it to. How exactly do you want it to move along?
Do you have a plan of attack to achieve what you want? Are you working every day towards making that plan a reality or are you hoping your heart’s desire simply manifests itself out of thin air without any effort on your part?
Many of the great things in life just don’t fall into our laps. They take work and courage. If you are simply sitting around waiting for your great life to fall into place, you might be waiting a long time.
Step up and make good things happen. Be an active leader in the direction of your life.
Accept you may be on a different path
Okay some of you might not like this one. Perhaps your life will be different – perhaps you are on a different path.
I will give you an example. You might be rushing to walk down the aisle and be like all of your married friends. I hate to break the news to you but not everyone gets married. Not everyone has children, not everyone meets their soul mate. I am not trying to bust anyone’s bubble here but sometimes these big ticket items that society seems to think should happen to everyone – just don’t.
The point is to realise that going down another path is okay. You simply might be destined for other amazing, fabulous things in life. Life doesn’t (and probably shouldn’t) be about everyone following a set life template. After all, what we want in life is not a one size fits all proposition.
Your turn may ultimately come, but it may not be in the form you expected.
Life can look different from the outside
This one might seem a bit negative – but it is something to consider if you are secretly coveting someone else’s life.
Everyone has their own problems to deal with. It is easy to forget that when we are looking in from the outside. We only see one dimension of a relationship or situation.
I will give you an extreme example. When I was growing up, my parents were friends with another married couple that had 3 children. As a youngster, I thought they were the perfect family. I wanted my dysfunctional family to be more like them.
It wasn’t till years later, when the husband left the wife for her best friend that I got to hear a small part of what went on in their family home. It was not pretty. Actually, it was downright ugly. As an adult, I was shocked to find out what was going on within my ‘perfect family’. That realisation opened my eyes up to what can be going on in the shadows.
Everyone has their own problems to deal with.
It’s about being happy with where you are right now
I am going through an interesting stage of my life at the moment. It is a bit like a roller coaster ride to be honest. Some days are wonderful. Some feel like I am going backwards. I have to cope with down days (and to be honest there have been a few of those lately).
Despite all of this, the truth is, I am incredibly happy. I am doing something that is really important to me. Something I have wanted my whole life. At the moment, I might not be progressing at the exact speed I would like but I am certainly moving in the right direction.
What are your thoughts on how your life is progressing? Do you ever feel you are being left behind? Please join the conversation and leave your comments below.












My name is Thea Easterby and I am a freelance writer and blogger. Join me on my journey to become a full time writer.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for such an encouraging post that’s filled with wisdom and hope!
JoDee Luna recently posted..Emotional Waves and Dark Forests of the Mind
Hi JoDee
Great to see you here, thanks so much for stopping by.
I’m so glad you enjoyed the post.
Look forward to seeing you here again soon.
Cheers
Thea
YES, I’ve thought that – and it can so easily distract me from my own plans.
Miss Britt recently posted..How to Make a Budget Even if You Hate Making Budgets
Hi Britt
Great to see you again!
Thinking about everyone else’s progress can be distracting – that’s for sure. I remind myself of that whenever I start to slip into ‘feeling left behind’ territory.
Thanks for commenting.
Cheers
Thea
I try to remember…it’s not that I’m standing still and everyone else is moving forward, we’re just moving in different directions. And that’s okay.
Raising Marshmallows recently posted..Zyrtec
Hi Nikki
Thanks for stopping by.
So true on the moving in different directions!
Thanks for commenting and I look forward to seeing you here again soon.
Cheers
Thea
Thea, new to your blog but I had to comment to say I feel like this all. the. time! There are days I think I’m living a day that is hiccupping and I’m like Bill Murray’s character in the film, “Groundhog Day.”
That said, I try not to let it affect me too much. I know I’m I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and my life’s circumstances are “a work in progress.” Thank you for a thought-provoking post!
Hi Bella
So lovely to hear from you.
I can totally understand the Groundhog Day comment. Some weeks can certainly feel like that! I like what you said about knowing you are exactly where you are supposed to be. I feel the same way, despite all the ups and downs.
Thanks again for joining in and I look forward to chatting to you here again soon.
All the best
Cheers
Thea
I am so glad to have found your blog. Today, of all days, I need it most. I think we may be on a similar journey, though I’m just realizing it only very recently. Thanks for sharing this. I found you via SheWrites and can’t wait to read more. -Miss GOP
Miss GOP recently posted..The Secret about Writers Block
Hi Miss Good on Paper
Great to see you here. So glad you found me via SheWrites. I will definitely look you up there, next time I pop in.
I checked out your blog as well (looks great!). I’m looking forward to going back and reading more posts.
That’s great to hear that we are on a similar journey. I think the more people you can share a journey with, the more enjoyable it makes it. I look forward to connecting with you again soon.
Cheers
Thea
I feel like I need help. I graduate from high school 2 years ago and lost as to what the next step is. All my friends are moving forward and I am afraid of getting left behind or growing apart from them. I don’t know what I want out of life or where to go from here? I feel lost lonely and scared. I’ve taken classes at the local community college but I just can’t seem to find anything… I feel disconnected from everything in the world.
Hi Emilly
Thank you for your open and honest comment. I hope I spelt your name properly above, my apologies if I got it wrong.
Sorry to feel that you are feeling a bit lost and lonely at the moment. It can be hard when we feel like that. Take comfort in the fact that life can change for the better in an instant. My first piece of advice would be don’t be so hard on yourself. I am not exactly sure how old you are but if you only graduated from school 2 years ago but I suspect you are still very young. Don’t panic if you don’t know what direction you want to follow just yet. A lot of people (some a lot older than you) are in the same boat, you are definitely not alone when it comes to wanting to find a career you are passionate about. You have time and options on your side, which is a good thing to remember.
As you are feeling disconnected now is a good time to make sure you stay in touch with people you care about and who care about you. Don’t isolate yourself. Spend as much quality time with your friends and family as possible while you are trying to work out what to do next. It will help to have love and support around you.
I think it’s great that you have taken some classes. Again don’t be so hard on yourself that nothing has clicked yet. Sometimes it just takes a bit more exploration. Try to make the discovery as fun and interesting as possible. Let’s start with a few questions. What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? Are you good at helping people? Good with computers, numbers. the written word, great organiser?
Have you read any the wonderful books available that might help you in picking a career option. I know there are some good ones available. Stroll around a bookshop or jump online and see what you can find. You might have already seen them already but there are a couple of great websites dealing specifically with career choices that might be able to help you. Here are two that I have read from time to time myself.
Everyday Bright by Jennifer Gresham
Life After College by Jenny Blake
I am sure there are a lot more but these two should definitely help you get started.
One more thing Emilly before I head off, you are special. You are unique in many many incredible ways. Once you discover how wonderful you are and claim that power, your confidence will soar. Never doubt how special you are or what amazing gifts you have to offer the world.
I really hope to hear how you go and I look forward to seeing you here again on this blog. Remember don’t be so hard on yourself, hang in there, enjoy and have fun with the process of finding out what you want to do next.
All the best
Thea
I just ran across your post, and it definitely strikes a chord with me. I’m already 24 and still don’t yet have a career, but plan on doing a year course in journalism next year. Something in me keeps telling me “man you’re so old to start a first career when all your friends have been since 21!” Is 24 unusual or “too old” to finally know where I’m going?
Hi Holly
Thank you so much for your comment. Lovely to see you here. Sorry this reply is a little late, I felt a bit under the weather during the week. Feeling great again now.
Now about your question – you are definitely NOT TOO OLD. You are only 24. You are doing just fine. I think the journalism course next year sounds great. Just out of curiousity what are you doing now? Are you working or studying at the moment? Sometimes we need to experiment a little to find out what we are interested in. Don’t forget everyone needs to move at their own pace. I am sure a few of those 21 year old’s might not like what they chose earlier on and may change later. Some of them might have even rushed into a career choice and get stuck there because they are too scared to change. That option would be far worse. People progress at their own speed. Do what is best for you and what makes you happy and you will do great. Whatever you do, don’t panic. Age isn’t the main factor, finding something you love, are good at and can make a living from is the key.
Again Holly thank you so much for leaving a comment. I hope to hear from you again soon. I would love to hear how the journalism course goes.
Cheers
Thea