How to Conquer Your Fear

When I was working with my coach Linda Anderson, how to overcome fear was a common topic of discussion.  My initial procrastination and reluctance to submit work when I first started writing was all a by product of my fear.

Overcoming fear (whether it be a fear of failure, fear of not being good enough or even a fear of success) is often an ongoing personal quest.  It is not like you do something that scares you and hey presto you never  feel any sort of fear again.  Fear will simply raise its ugly head over and over again waiting for you to take on the challenge of conquering it. 

Months ago I had a particular task to complete.  In reality it was quite simple but in my mind, I had built it up  to be a much bigger, scarier beast than it actually was. 

The task involved submitting my work out for feedback. So what did I do……I procrastinated.  I put the task off.  I worried about it for a while.  I placed it on my to do list every week (for more weeks than I care to admit to).

I could not get my head around why I was so afraid of submitting this particular piece of work.  Fear had skewed my sense of reality.  At the time I was already submitting pitches to editors.  In essence,  I was already putting myself out there, facing my fear of rejection head on.  So why should a similar task bother me so much?

Finally I realised I had put it off long enough.  Thankfully through coaching the one thing I have learned is that ulitimately my fear of NOT doing something overrides the fear of not trying at all.  Frustration with myself in the end lead me to taking the step.

So what happened after I finally submitted the work?  Did the sky fall?  Were my fears realised?  Absolutely  not.  Quite the opposite actually.  Everything worked out fine.  I submitted the work, got some very positive feedback and was happy with the result.   I couldn’t help but think – what was all that worrying and internal conflict about?

Can you relate to this scenario?

Here are my tips on overcoming fear, bearing in mind that I am still a major work in progress myself!

Accept that is it is fear

We tend to play games with ourselves when we are trying to avoid something that scares us.  We tell ourselves we are too tired, we are too old or too young, now is not the right time,  I will just watch a bit of ttelevision then I am sure I will feel like doing it (just for the record that never happens).  I even preferred to label myself as lazy before admitting I was scared out of my wits.  We simply do not want to admit to ourselves we are frightened.

Work out what scares you

Some people do up a ‘what if ‘ list.  They analysis all of the variables of what might happen.  Others plan out the worst case scenario and come  up with measures to have in place to counteract each one, just in case.

I found that saying my fears out loud to my coach was the best way of dealing with them.  Quite frankly when you say your fears out loud to another person, sometimes you realise how irrational and silly most of them sound.

Do your homework

I am not saying for a moment that some things don’t need a lot of thought.  If you are buying a business, house or investing large chunks of money, by all means do your homework.  Know what the risks are and have a risk management strategy in place. 

Do the damn thing! 

It always makes me smile when I read articles about fear.  In the end the advise always  funnels down to the same  simple point.  Just do it.   Feel the fear and do it anything.  Stop procrastinating and get the job done. 

Ultimately that’s it in a nutshell, no matter how much we want to sugar coat it.   If you want to move forward, to grow – you need to take action. 

Make sure you do a good job.  Don’t let your initial fear affect the quality of your work

Try to shorten the process

Try to make this whole process as short as possible so that you are not wasting valuable time.  I am sure successful entrepreneurs still have the occasional bout of fear wash over them.  They simply make decisions and take the leap a lot quicker than the rest of us.

Give yourself a pat on the back

You have completed your task successfully.  Excellent!  Give yourself a reward in line with what you have accomplished.

Repeat many times over

Is there a fear you need to overcome this week that is currently holding you back?  One project that you need to tackle to help get you where you need to be?  So what are you waiting for – hop to it!!!

The next ‘scary’ thing on my to do list is applying for and writing guest posts.   So stay tuned, I will keep you updated.

This post was written by...

Thea – who has written 265 posts on Write Change Grow.

Hi! Welcome to my blog.  I'm a freelance writer and blogger. For more Write Change Grow goodness, sign up for my free newsletter.  You can connect with me on Facebook and Twitter.

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