With Valentine’s Day this weekend, it can sometimes be a challenging times for singles.
Let’s face it singles get a lot of bad press in the media.
With a mainstream show like ‘The Big Bang Theory’ representing all singles as lonely losers sitting at home crying to themselves on Saturday night or singing to sappy music aka Bridget Jones style it’s time to start talking about the joys of being single.
Yes being single can have it’s down moments but hey so can being married.
Singledom is often tarred with the ageist brush. It’s seems fine to be single in your twenties but heaven forbid if you are still single in your thirties or beyond! Well I say enough of that shit – it’s time to set the record straight.
Here are some of the great things about being single.
Ahhh freedom. There is nothing quite as exhilarating as being able to do what you want, when you want. Weekends away with friends, dinners, movies you name it.
Freedom means having time to pursue your own hobbies and interests. It means doing stuff you totally love or not doing much at all. It’s totally up to you.
Granted sometimes you might have to do some things on your own but when you are comfortable with who you are and enjoy your own company – that’s not a bad thing.
You work hard for your money. You get to spend it how and when you want.
You don’t have to worry about taking on anyone else’s debt or financial problems.
You can travel and work overseas
This is a biggie. Whilst it is part of the freedom package being a traveller myself, it’s worth a special mention.
When you are single you can travel whenever and wherever you want. You can take a year off and travel overseas (as someone who has done this I highly recommend it – you will have a total blast!) or you can accept a job overseas without worrying about how it is going to affect your partner or children.
You can work on your friendships
Being single gives you a great chance to work on your friendships. Regardless of your age, it’s a great opportunity to deeply connect with people in a meaningful way.
If you are single and sitting around moping about not having a partner – stop right now! It’s time to have some fun. Connect with a friend, get out there and enjoy yourself.
No one telling you what to do
This is a big benefit of being single and living by yourself. No one bossing you around, telling you to do this or do that.
No one nagging you. I know a lot of married people who secretly wish for less nagging.
You don’t have anyone to fight with
One part of relationships that I definitely don’t miss being single is the fighting.
Whilst I realize that every couple fights and disagrees on things, as we all know some couples take that to the extreme.
Some couples fight constantly, ripping shreds off each other and saying horrible things they can never take back. Constantly being at each others throats is emotionally exhausting.
No compromising for your partner
Compromise is a part of life whether you are single or not. That’s just a fact.
But let’s face it we have all seen people in relationships that compromise way too much. I used to be the ‘compromise queen’, so I definitely know what I’m talking about with this one!
Some people compromise to the point where they are completely miserable and full of resentment.
They end up giving up everything they like and hand their life over to another person on a silver platter.
Not healthy, not cool and not conducive to a happy partnership.
Being single means you are not with the wrong person
As I have mentioned before, there is nothing more lonely than being in a relationship and feeling completely alone.
You have someone you love dearly sitting next to you but you feel completely alone.
They don’t get you, understand or respect you. You have trouble communicating and you feel like you have totally different values and separate interests. Your conversations range from barely talking to screaming at each other. Yet there they are sitting next to you.
I’m not knocking relationships, being with the right person is wonderful and a true blessing but being with the wrong person is loneliness personified.
You have time to heal and work through your issues
A lot of people through pure fear of not wanting to be alone, go from one relationship to another (often overlapping them) hurting people along the way.
Being single is the best time to get your head together and work through your issues so that you have a clear head and an open heart when someone amazing comes along.
Yes it can be hard and yes you may experience some loneliness along the way – but it’s worth it.
It’s not someone else’s job to heal your old wounds from previous relationships or childhood – it’s your job. Work through your baggage and you will have a lot more to offer someone going forward (you will also be a hell of a lot happier within yourself).
You get to spend time by yourself
I realize reading that scares a lot of people. One of the big fears some people have is spending time by themselves.
This is often because people don’t like themselves very much.
Admittedly sometimes we can spend too much time alone.
I love spending time by myself because I enjoy my own company but even I know that sometimes too much time alone can cause me to go a bit stir crazy. When I was working from home by myself (which I absolutely loved!) there were times when I noticed I wasn’t getting enough social interaction. First giveaway, I would start to feel down for no reason.
The good part was that it was easy to fix. Spending time out of the house with friends lifted my mood immediately.
Regardless of whether you are single or married enjoying time by yourself is good for your health and wellbeing.
Think being single means no love in your life. Well that’s just rubbish!
Whether you are single, married, engaged, divorced, have six kids or no kids you always a form of love in your life.
Take one guess where that comes from? Inside of you.
No matter what your relationship status is you should always love yourself unconditionally. That means faults and all.
It means forgiving yourself, learning from your mistakes and your successes and being the best version of yourself possible.
This Valentine’s Day weekend regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not – rejoice and celebrate the most important relationship you will ever have – the glorious, beautiful one you have with yourself.
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